[LikeABoomerang]

I've been so depressed for so long I cant remember ever being anything but depressed. Probably starting from around the age of 10. Im 32.

Im close to no one. I have literally 0 friends. I can't stand the vast majority of my family. I honestly don't consider most of them family anymore. I have a fiancée that works out of town so we only see each once or twice a week for a few hours at a time. I basically feel like a single parent at this point. My 13 yr old son and I have never gotten on (love the kid - but we fight and argue allll the time. Hes spoiled, lazy and sooo rude and disrespectful. I'm aware much of this my fault and I'm often frustrated and yell at him far more then I should. Doesn't help that my parents have blatantly undermined me as a parent his whole life.). I have a toddler and am 6 months pregnant. I'm exhausted. I just started early maternity leave this week which leaves me even more isolated. All I can think is how do I make it to the next day without going bat **** crazy? I don't even want to get out of bed anymore. I just want to sleep my life away. so it passes faster.

And today I found out that one of the only extended family members I have that I actually care for anymore has terminal cancer.

I wish I didn't exist.

[Raindropvampire]

My baseline for my bipolar is depression and I pretty much stay 24/7 depressed so I hear you. I also would rather sleep than be awake. I'm so sorry about your family member. I wish I had some words of wisdom or advice but I'm not really good at that. I did want you to know that someone heard you and they care.

[Fuzzybear]