[jazzyjuno]

So I just graduated from high school last year and am currently in university that is about 2 and a half hour away from home. Back at home, I had a bf who was the only person I could have a good ongoing conversation with (very important for me in a relationship ). Everything about him was perfect, but unfortunately his lack of communication throughout the first 2 months of college caused me to call for an end because I felt lonely and hopeless. I became depressed and cut out a lot of people in my life, including my group of high school friends, except 1. And so far in college, I've only made 1 friend. (For me, a friend is a person I can trust and hang out with.)

To sum up, I only have 2 friends: one from the high school group (E) and my hallmate (L). They're both really great friends, but I still feel lonely. I guess it's because they don't have everything I want in a person? For example, E is depressed and is quite negative from time to time and L isn't outgoing. A part of me understands that that's just the way they are and I just have to accept it. But another part of me finds it frustrating because as a person trying to get out of loneliness, I only want to be surrounded by positivity and be able to go out with friends and have fun. It's weird :/

I'm really indecisive as well which makes everything so much harder >.< Some days I want to make friends, some days I don't. Some days I want go out and do things on my own, some days I just feel that going with a friend would be more fun. Some days I want to join a club and make new friends and possibly find the person that has everything I'm looking for, and some days I'll worry about falling behind in class because I'm quite a slow learner.. and a procrastinator

I really don't know what to do

[Fuzzybear]