I have to learn normal

Well you know what i f in refuse too!

Cause this aint normal. No one should have to live like this.

T tells me today, normal in this area was this, she points with her hand and makes a mark. Then says, this is normal now, and points way below her other mark. That aint normal. It cant be normal. Its not acceptable. I cant even drink my faucet water. I've got oil soaked earth surrounding my house and i'm told thats safe. What am i doing? Do i really want this? This aint living. Why do i continue to go through with this?

Cause this is my home. This is where i took my first step. I made my communion here. I learned to drive here. I had my first date here. I got my first job. I watched my friends and family grow.

And now, thats all gone. There is nothing left of it. It'll never be again.

So why? Why, do i stick around?

So sorry you're going through unpleasant change, having to watch what you know and love disappear or get wrecked. I know I only have pictures in my head of my hometown as it was, it's not "there" anymore and when I drive through that area it makes my heart hurt.

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Bob Dylan

(((((((((chalmette))))))))))) i can't even befin to imagine how hard this situation is for you. you have suffered much devastation and the shock and confusion take so long to work thru. sorry for your loss, sorry for your pain. pm me anytime you need to talk, i'll do whatever i can to be there for you.

((((((((((((( chalmette ))))))))))))))

(((((Chalmette))))) First let me say that I cannot even imagine what you have gone through in the past few years. I cannot imagine the devistation, frustration, anger, and aniexty. I envy your fortitude.

Second, I'd like to know where your T got his degree. What is "normal"? How does one act "normal" when the whole world has been turned upside down. I believe that it is "normal" to be upset that your world has been turned upside down and all attempts to fix it have been well frankly crap. (If I am unclear, I am speaking of the government, insurance companies, politicians etc.)

You have been through so much, I am sorry that the very person that is supposed to support and help you seems imo an idiot.

((((chalmette)))) i know how bad it is for you. i know it's never going to be the same. in time, it will become a different sense of normal. even if it's not normal. it will become "normal" in a way. i know it's so hard to accept this. i understand.

There's a Bruce Cochburn song I like called "The trouble with normal is it always gets worse." I'm sorry you're going through so much right now - but you don't have to settle for normal or less than normal. You can strive for better than or even good. I know that that may seem very far away right now, but it's something I hold onto.

Take care of yourself.

--splitimage

Hey Cuz, Take it from someone that left "home" 20 years ago and moved 12 times due to work since then. There's no place like home. It may never be exactly the same, but it will get better. You are like a pioneer from the old west. Someone had to make the track across the country to get to the West and start new citys so everyone could follow. Hang in there. You are where you belong.

(((((((Chalmette))))))

How I admire your stamina, courage and strength. I will never know what you've had to endure, you are a strong, wonderful person. You have struggled so hard, I've sat with you while you cried and just wished we could do something, it's so frustrating, but you've made it through and it goes to show what kind of person you are, give me half your strength and I'd be so happy - love ya girl, sending you a hug across the miles and praying one day we'll see each other for real just like we said.

love always, Jinny xxxxx

Thank you all for your kind words of support, encouragment and wisdom. Ya'll really touch my heart.

hugs,
chalmette