[samj40]

Long story short, I've got PMDD that causes intense depression. Of course, it's *that* time of the month, so I'm suffering.

My depression is really bad enough to the point I've seriously debated ending it all and I've almost acted on it three times in the past two days. I'm completely alone with it, the people I live with don't care (despite being family) and I have no friends. My partner is blatantly ignoring me because I'm upset, other things are *far* more important than me right now.

I don't want to go to the hospital because all they do is give me printed handouts about depression and/or tell me to google things, then send me home. The hospital does have a psych unit but it's used more as a rehab facility and you CANNOT get a bed there, no matter how bad you need one. They'll literally just turn you away.

Hotlines are out of the question because, again, they'll just call emergency services on me and I'll end up at the hospital just to be kicked out and denied help.

I... Don't know. I can't cope any more. I have no supports. The beast has won.

[samj40]

So... After realising that money and trivial things are more important than I'll ever be, I think I have to say goodbye now. I can't do this any more, I can't go on meaning nothing.

[Candy1955]

I am so sorry you are in pain. Please don't hurt yourself!

You do mean something, sorry they're not giving you the help you need, mental healthcare in some places does suck, sadly

I wish they'd take you seriously, please hang in there