[ShadowGX]

Might seem like an obvious statement, but apparently it's not.

Today I was in a pretty foul mood, so when a new friend of mine talked to me I was not in the mood to fake happy like I normally would for a new friend until I get to know and trust them a bit better. I ended up explaining how I suffer from depression and have had it as long as I can remember. He didn't seem to comprehend my situation and we originally stopped the conversation after he basically said I should just "get over it" like he did and I called him insensitive for it (though I'm simplifying what he said there quite a bit). We then moved on and planned when we would next play games like it was nothing.

It still bothered me though that he didn't understand and was so cold about it, despite him claiming to have struggled with depression himself. How can someone who has experienced this be like that? I brought it up again and basically said I want to try to get him to understand or to get me to understand why he doesn't get it. *TRIGGER WARNING!!!* (I can't find how to use the hide text thingy.) I ended up explaining that I have attempted twice and though I realize now that both attempts were sort of dumb ways to relieve some stress that they felt very real at the time. He then admitted he definitely doesn't understand why someone would want to do that. I told him how I went through both physical and emotional abuse as a kid through young adult years from my parents and peers and I truly felt like it was my only way out and how those scars still greatly effect me today. Suddenly it clicked and he understood that just because his depression was easily fixed for him it didn't meant we had the same situations that caused our depression and thus very different reactions to the same disease.

I'm sharing this for two reasons:
1. I hope that others who got over their depression don't forget that some of us still feel it and might not be able to get over it in the same way as you did, so please try to remain understanding.
2. For those of you wondering if or how you should share that you suffer, maybe you can take my experience and learn from it a bit. I'm always one who prefers to be upfront with people that I'd like to keep in my life, but it does mean I lose people quite often, so do keep that in mind too.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I'm pleased to hear that you & your friend were able to come to an understanding. I'm not so sure that happens all that often. So it is special.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for sharing

“Should get over it” - this would make me bristle also.

I’m pleased that you and your friend came to an understanding.

[hprodf]

I agree. This is a very simplified explanation on my part, but a lot of it comes down to how people will categorise others or conditions into "boxes". While this has its value in terms being able to organise and structure the world around us, the problem is that it also means people generalise. This leads to situations like yours, as we're too complex to simply group together into boxes and people need to be treated individually to be understood on a deeper level.

I'm glad you both came to an understanding, and frankly speaking it has a positive, as someone was educated as a result.

[ShadowGX]

Exactly hprodf. I definitely think that was the case initially, that he thought all depression was the same or something. We're very similar in interests and opinions, but we differ a lot on how we handle thoughts and emotions so he's been very interesting to talk to because it's like talking to a more mentally stable version of myself.

Part of the problem too is that he's French and still learning English, so while most of his intent came across correctly, some of it did not and I misunderstood. Still, we both feel good about the friendship otherwise and are trying to work on understanding each other. It's always a good sign when the other person doesn't just dismiss an issue and wants to talk it out. It will get better as I English at him and as we get used to each other. We spent a couple hours tonight discussing some ways to work around some of my issues since I'm kinda unstable emotionally (aware of that and trying to work on it) and how I can make what I'm saying/feeling easier on him.

[hprodf]

It's good you're proactively working to help you deal with your issues. What was originally a misunderstand may work to strengthen your friendship and bring you closer.

The world needs more of this. You can have differences of opinion, sometimes you won't come to accept each other's view. This is totally fine and normal, it doesn't mean that we can't be civil or close simply because we differ in views on something. Kudos to both of you.