This is ridiculous - bad day

Maybe it’s me who is ridiculous

I’ve read through this post, it feels like I’m polluting this space :-(

(Volunteering, meds, pets, not an option - allergies)

Those thoughts come from me, not because of anyone here.

Maybe I’m intrinsically wrong, not ok, all that other stuff :-(

Maybe I should be grateful that the parental units rejected me :-(:

Others deserve gentleness and kindness. I try to be kind and gentle.

Maybe, for some unknown reason, I don’t deserve gentleness ...

I feel like deleting this (same stuff different day :-( why can’t I “just snap out of this” )

I’ve been told off... by so many people..

I’ve been disliked... by so many people.. including the family of origin ...

I can’t take meds (and I was even flamed on another website for mentioning this )

I don’t know what’s “wrong” with me .....

I try to ... function etc (all the usual stuff)

Maybe I’m just too “boring” or “annoying” for a therapist to want to listen to me

I don’t really want to be on this planet at all.

Maybe I’m “just a whiner”

(Dxd complex developmental trauma, severe anxiety, depression etc)

No, you're absolutely not ridiculous Fuzzybear, perish those thoughts, please don't feel like you're polluting the space either, hugs. Whenever I read or see a post of yours, it has the opposite effect of polluting the space. It brightens my day. Even your vents reflect my own feelings and so they're positive as well. But I do understand those core beliefs we hear inside ourselves, those inner negativities, my goodness, it never stops, I hear it every day myself - because of the same reasons as you as well. It all stems back to the past, yes - the very crappy past. You deserve all the goodness and love in the world, believe me. Many hugs to you lovely Fuzzy and I hope you're going okay.

fuzzy we all need to whine and complain...

So sorry, gentle friend!

You make me feel so much better, Fuzzy, just by being here! Thank you.

I'd really love to hear more about what's particularly getting to you today

Thank you

A lot of it is about how I can’t “forget” about the parents (parental units)... they didn’t care. I was thrown out of the nest, like some birds throw their young out? Also they had made sure I couldn’t fly

Some people just don’t understand this.

I was told some mean and ridiculous things like I “should” have .. I don’t want to go there

I’m also struggling with “self care” - that whole concept of it...

If a friend, or anyone, says ..... I just keep on being reminded.

Thank you for listening to me

we are still here fuzzy

The feeling of being "intrinsically wrong"...
I've sometimes felt similar.
But you feel it - and worse - constantly.

I can't help but connect it to your upbringing, beginning in the earliest years. I think it's obvious, and it's "correctly" reflected in the "complex developmental trauma" diagnosis (insofar as I understand the diagnosis )

Fuzzybear

Thank you little turtle

I don’t think she (maternal unit, or step maternal unit later) were “ever” (exaggeration maybe, or maybe I’d be ... not “here” at all) “here”

So no wonder, maybe, that those who enjoy judging ... labelled me as “needy”

(Not about anyone on pc)

Thank you Rohag