[James0805]

Dear Depression Forum:

Pardon the irony, but am I all alone in feeling this way? This is America, an insanely individualistic culture. It can be rather unbearable. I think I read in one of the collectivist countries, group centered, there is not much depression. Not that they are perfect. Uniqueness is frowned upon. I think ideally you need both, a foundation of being in a group and the chance to be unique. I truly believe the wave of the future in America is cohousing. It would help solve many ills, like supporting families. Right now in America, we have way too much individualism and not enough collectivism. It desperately needs to change if we are to survive.

My whole life I have always felt alone. I come from a good family. I read other people's horror stories about family and I feel very blessed. I am very sorry they had it so bad. Nevertheless, I still feel very alone. Every time I feel the immense pressure to move forward in my life, I feel so alone. I feel abandoned. I now know I need support. My parents are okay for that. I don't know why but I don't always feel I can go to them. I have no friends. Every time I look for support, like local groups or going through my insurance, I always run into brick walls. It shouldn't be that hard to find. People tell me I give up too easily. Define "too easily" people. It's hard enough but people have to judge me too and increase the pain. Where is the G****m love? It's demoralizing trying to find support. Add to that I just have a natural resistance to be around people. I am in a double bind I can't get out of. I need support to move forward, but reaching out is too scary. My no confidence is killing me. I try to tell myself one day at a time, but the thought of working in a doughnut place for the rest of my life is intolerable. I don't know what to do. I pray for guidance. It's no wonder I am depressed. If you respond to this please for the love of decency and plain ol' humanity, be kind. No judgement and no name calling.

[ShadowGX]

I feel the same struggle. People are very uncaring and judgemental in general. I have an impossible time reaching out to anyone because, much like you, when I have it has not gone well for various reasons. The only friends I've had since high school have been online, otherwise I only have my mom IRL and sometimes one of my brothers when it comes to car stuff. I'm where I am in life pretty much by chance. I've taken initiative on some hunch feelings I had to try something here or there, which is what got me my career now when I got sick of working retail and desperately tried to find things I could do that wouldn't cost a lot to get certified for or require a lot of schooling.

[magicalprince]

James0805, I hope things get better for you

[James0805]

Originally Posted by magicalprince

James0805, I hope things get better for you

Thankyou Magicalprince, I love you too.

[MickeyCheeky]

I feel lonely, as well

Originally Posted by James0805

Dear Depression Forum:

I truly believe the wave of the future in America is cohousing. It would help solve many ills, like supporting families.

I have heard so much about co-housing. I feel like I may be interested in living in a place like that. But I don't understand it fully. Maybe you could fill me in on it. I have looked it up but there seems to be too much information.

I have expressed many times on here about the disadvantages at where I live. I live in a condo complex where I feel like I am the only single person living alone. I am not, but it feels that way because I have not met anyone at my complex who is just like me. There's one guy who lives next door to me who lives by himself. I hardly see him and he has a girlfriend that he spends a lot of time with.

It would be nice for me to live in a place where others and I have things in common. I used to live in a place that had single-lonely people like I was (and I'm still that way now). It was a lot more exciting than where I am now. There were quite a few single people like me living where I am now when I first moved in. They are all gone and have rented out. This complex has gone downhill since. I feel very lonely at where I live. I live in a city that's very spread out, so it seems like I have a long drive to go and see someone.

I'm in a dilemma now. I want to sell my condo and live somewhere else. It seems like it would be a dumb move financially. Yet I don't feel like I'm much better off financially than before, even with having my mortgage all paid off. So I don't know what to do. I have gone on websites about this and posted, but never got any answers from anyone.

Thanks so much for your very valuable post.

[James0805]

Originally Posted by will19

I have heard so much about co-housing. I feel like I may be interested in living in a place like that. But I don't understand it fully. Maybe you could fill me in on it. I have looked it up but there seems to be too much information.

I have expressed many times on here about the disadvantages at where I live. I live in a condo complex where I feel like I am the only single person living alone. I am not, but it feels that way because I have not met anyone at my complex who is just like me. There's one guy who lives next door to me who lives by himself. I hardly see him and he has a girlfriend that he spends a lot of time with.

It would be nice for me to live in a place where others and I have things in common. I used to live in a place that had single-lonely people like I was (and I'm still that way now). It was a lot more exciting than where I am now. There were quite a few single people like me living where I am now when I first moved in. They are all gone and have rented out. This complex has gone downhill since. I feel very lonely at where I live. I live in a city that's very spread out, so it seems like I have a long drive to go and see someone.

I'm in a dilemma now. I want to sell my condo and live somewhere else. It seems like it would be a dumb move financially. Yet I don't feel like I'm much better off financially than before, even with having my mortgage all paid off. So I don't know what to do. I have gone on websites about this and posted, but never got any answers from anyone.

Thanks so much for your very valuable post.

Thank you for thanking me. I didn't know it would help. I honestly don't know much about cohousing, just very generally. I think you buy a house that is linked with others, like two or three families, maybe singles. You have meals together and common areas. That's all I know. I am a bit of a hypocrite. I suggest group living. However, I rent a room in a house with others, because I am poor, and I barely interact with them. We don't eat together. I thought about suggesting it, but I resist the idea.

[captaineo]

Hi James, I kind of understand. Any person is not meant to be alone, but sometimes we want to because circumstances forces us. Although I would love to have roomies and have person to talk to I’m afraid one time in the future that partnership may go wrong for whatever reason, but I guess then you can move to a next cohousing project. I like the idea. The small issue I have is I am a Gaijin in Japan and they don’t practice this here, I think in hypersensitive city we could have a the sharing and cohousing situation which can be great or the individualism everybody to its own room and life, which can be a slow poison.

To be honest I don’t come from a great country like yours, I came to Japan to study on a scholarship which I was lucky to get and been living the very bad and very good here. If I had options I would be somewhere else trying my luck, but reality is that I live in a society that one, will never accept me, two with this international parroquial nationalism movements around the world it may get worse, and all I can do is keep my head down do my job, keep quiet and enjoy life in ways I can. But thanks to this community I have a space to meet and discuss beautiful ideas such as yours.
I would love to be in a co-housed environment may try to get a few people to buy into it and at least give it a shot.

Blessings James