[ptangptang]

I'm doing it all the time. It's like groundhog day. I beat myself up, give myself a talking to. Say to myself ' next time it'll be different. And it's not ,it happens again. And it REALLY gets me down.

[Rohag]

Depressive apathy contributes to significant indecision on my part.
I suppose not deciding or choosing is itself a kind of decision.
How did I get here? Was it some bad decision?

I tend to make wrong/bad decisions as well

[marvin_pa]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Depressive apathy contributes to significant indecision on my part.
I suppose not deciding or choosing is itself a kind of decision.
How did I get here? Was it some bad decision?

Some of my all time greatest bad decisions have been the ones that I either consciously/unconsciously failed to make - but some of the others have been ones that essentially became coin-toss decisions, because I'd lost the confidence to trust my own decision making, or I'd spent so much energy over-analyzing the pro & cons that I could have talked myself into believing that black was white & white was a large invisible rabbit called Harvey.

Did I learn anything from this? Only that kicking myself around the block didn't improve my choices & the best choice was to try to change my decision making environment, before I ended back in paragraph 1. Easier said than done, mind you - it's so far involved medication, being more open to accepting help, being more forgiving to myself & trying to sweat less of the smaller stuff in my typical several dozen potential endgames level excruciating detail.

Still working on that last one...

[ShadowGX]

Yep. There's some bad habits that I can't seem to stop repeating. What comes to mind are the habits I get into with friends and what almost made me lose my current one, but luckily he's more patient and kind than I thought. When I get close to someone I tend to subconsciously "test" them to see if they're thinking about leaving me... Doesn't matter if it's going well or not. After I realize what I'm doing I feel disgusting for it, but in the moment I can't stop myself and I do/say some bad stuffs.

[cryingontheinside]

I can't stop thinking about the past today of all the wrong decisions I made . It's making me feel like a bad person and feeling so down .
I'm sorry you keep making the wrong decisions . Are the wrong or is it just that they didn't end up going well ? Life is so hard . How can we do everything right . I wish we weren't so hard on ourselves. If we are

[ptangptang]

Cheers guys.
Depressive apathy arghhh!!! don't get me started it's caused me so many problems.
Exactly Marvin. Me too. I've lost trust in my own judgement to the extent I don't know what to do half the time and usually do the wrong thing. Just when i'm feeling kinda ok it kicks me up the arse ( i'm british haha) and i'm back to square one. I hate it and I hate myself for being me. Jeez why do I make life so hard for myself.

Anyway going to the sports centre today and hopefully i'll feel better when I come back. Have a good day everyone.

[splitimage]

Been there, got the T-shirt, hate the t-shirt. I have screwed up so many things in my life, through the combination of depression and addiction, that digging myself seems impossible. I've lost all the confidence that I once had.

I'm trying to take it easy on myself, and tell myself that with sobriety things will get better, but the depression doesn't make it any easier. I'm constantly second guessing myself, and self sabotaging.

splitimage

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Depressive apathy contributes to significant indecision on my part.
I suppose not deciding or choosing is itself a kind of decision.
How did I get here? Was it some bad decision?

[mountainstream]

Yes, I do this too.

[Marla500]

Me too, absolutely.