How can I get out of this cycle? Does anyone else feel like this?

So ive been depressed for atleast the last 4 years.. probably even longer. Maybe 7 years or since I started university and dating. It's gone on for so long I feel like a shell of a person. I don't feel like myself. I keep thinking "I'm better than this.. this isn't Me" but I've forgotten who I am.

I've been thinking recently what I can do to change this pattern but I don't know what I'm doing wrong or where I could change.

I know I have low self worth and low self esteem. I get insecure, jealous, envy, anger, sad, loneliness, all of the above. My communication skills aren't very good and I struggle socialising with other people. I don't have any friends other than my sisters and boyfriend.

I've been thinking it's been unhappiness in my current relationship . But now I'm not too sure because I was unhappy before i got into this relationship (2 years ago). I've turned into an unhappy needy yet distant person, who must be hard to love.We've had our problems of him always dwelling on his old marriage. The other day he said "You remind me of someone I used to know(ex)? I got upset he apologized. Easy mistake? I over think and find it hard to forget and move on. Maybe I am creating my own unhappiness?.Somehow he still says he loves me.

I've been thinking about what changes I could make to make me happier. Maybe a career change? I could go back and study but I have no idea what I would do. I don't really have interests other than the gym. Should I start a hobby?.- cooking? painting?I've tried finding more friends but my social skills are so crap I don't know how. I'm overwhelmed with anxiety that I can't think clearly.
I've been money obsessed.. I think if I just had more money I would be happier.

If I bought a house I would be happier, If I had nicer nails or nicer clothes I would be happier, If I was married I would be happier, If I had children i would be happier, If i was fitter and stronger i would be happier, If I had a boyfriend who wasn't divorced I would be happier, If I had a pet I would be happier, If I had more friends I would be happier.

How do I get myself out of this cycle. I've tried antidepressants but it killed my sex drive.

I can't keep going on through life like this

Doesn't anyone else feel like this?

I think you summed it up when you said 'maybe i'm creating my own unhappiness'. It's the same for all of us. If you find the answers let me know please. That's not being flippant, it's just that it's so bloody hard. Google dysthymia or Persistent Depressive Disorder and try the things that throws up. Maybe CBT. Good luck

Have you already tried therapy?

I have tried counselling and psychotherapy. Well.. it was only two sessions so i can't really say I've done it. I told my partner I went and he didn't even ask about it or why I was going. Maybe it comes as no surprise.
Do people find CBT helpful? I have actauly done a course on CBT and it's given me lots of insight into my own thoughts/behaviour. Not sure if that counts as therapy?
I wish I could rewind time and start over. Avoid people that were not good for me. People who shaped who I am today.
That is time and innocence I'll never get back

I have no real answers. I suggest therapy and maybe medication. There are antidepressants that won't hurt your sex drive (like Wellbutrin). Your depression doesn't sound situational, I say that because your situation has changed a few times since your depression started. Getting help is what I think your goal should be. When it comes to your current relationship, I have no good advice considering I destroyed my last one with all of my crap (that's another story). Picking up a new hobby could help, writing helps me. Keep posting on here if it helps.