[CluckyBear]

I've always felt like where I live has massively impacted my life, it always seems so cold, soulless and has no culture at all. This city is also quite small and everyone knows each other, which is extra sucky for me because I was quite weird, depressed and anti social in school and I feel like I can't progress or start blank slate.

Whenever I go on holiday to another country and I have to come back home, I usually stay in my room and cry because I can't bear the fact that I have left to get a taste of a new surrounding to return right back to the very beginning.

I'm 20 and I keep looking at jobs abroad, which makes me kick myself because I was so depressed and didn't do well in school and I feel like I have screwed myself over.

I'm working a decent job in Finance support near my home town in England at the moment and I keep questioning whether or not I should take a risk while I'm young and fly from the nest (even though I feel like i'm massively fortunate to have landed the job I currently have).

The people I work with are also amazing, I've never had great relationships with my colleagues in the past, but I just feel so empty. I get back home and I have a few hours again before it's back to bed.

I can't be bothered to see anyone anymore, I don't think I actually have any friends anymore.

I've even started drinking before work again because I feel like my mask is slipping and I'm struggling to keep up appearances (I need to keep an active personality because I'm anxious about people having negative opinions of me).

I have no idea what to do, I absolutely hate where I am and I'm just dragging myself around, day in day out doing nothing.

I wish I did better in school so I wouldn't be so worried about taking risks, I feel like I have nothing under my belt.

[healingme4me]

Could drinking before work create potential of losing the great job?

Are there other communities within distance of your job where you could move? Sometimes a seemingly small change such as a move into a different community can make a world of difference. At least speaking from experience for myself.

I know what it's like to want a change of environment and like there's nothing holding to a specific community. By chance I wound up one community over from my work and it has made a difference for me.

[Fuzzybear]