[Chez3]

I have a few coping mechanisms to keep Mr sane and stable through dark times. These coping mechanisms don't make me feel good, but they stop me from feeling horrible.
One such coping mechanism is my internal voice of reason. Whenever I have thoughts of self-loathing, this voice chimes in, letting me know of my worth in a calm and assuring fashion. This prevents me from feeling great emotion as the voice of reason sees emotion as illogical and problematic, and in defusing the scenario, results in me feeling nothing. This is my primary coping mechanism, though it's not perfect by any means.
This often makes me feel empty and robotic, which at times can be worse than feeling horrible, but it often helps.
Most of the time, I'm not in a fit of crushing despair, and am just in that empty state. This is where my second coping mechanism comes into play. At this time, I desperately want to feel something, anything, and the only way by which I can feel is through music, though this causes problems to arise seeing as how I dislike most generals and 'happy' music as the sound seems void of emotion. I need to feel something, though, so I listen to the only thing that makes me feel: sad music. This brings me to a state of either despair, or twisted peace as I relish in the emotion and pain.
Of course, sometimes I want to feel nothing. Sometimes, I don't want to feel any kind of emotion, including emptiness, so I distract myself from everything be it by books, games, or shows. I can't do this often, or for extended periods of time, however, because of limited attention, lack of content, or just the unwillingness to do so.
So mainly, I bounce back and forth between emptiness and sadness, finding relief on some occasions. It hurts, but it's stable, and stability is key in my case. What things do you do to cope with everything? I'd like to spice up my standard emotional cycle a bit. It's stable, but boring, as I know everything to come in the future regarding it.

I like music (both listening to existing music and finding new stuff to listen to.)

finding a good movie to watch

add to my grounding box (a list of objects that help me stay present)

do my creative writing

play trivia

read jokes and watch youtube stuff

I also think it's good to split up your day, so you're not doing the same thing all day

[Mitch Harper]

Originally Posted by Chez3

I have a few coping mechanisms to keep Mr sane and stable through dark times. These coping mechanisms don't make me feel good, but they stop me from feeling horrible.
One such coping mechanism is my internal voice of reason. Whenever I have thoughts of self-loathing, this voice chimes in, letting me know of my worth in a calm and assuring fashion. This prevents me from feeling great emotion as the voice of reason sees emotion as illogical and problematic, and in defusing the scenario, results in me feeling nothing. This is my primary coping mechanism, though it's not perfect by any means.
This often makes me feel empty and robotic, which at times can be worse than feeling horrible, but it often helps.
Most of the time, I'm not in a fit of crushing despair, and am just in that empty state. This is where my second coping mechanism comes into play. At this time, I desperately want to feel something, anything, and the only way by which I can feel is through music, though this causes problems to arise seeing as how I dislike most generals and 'happy' music as the sound seems void of emotion. I need to feel something, though, so I listen to the only thing that makes me feel: sad music. This brings me to a state of either despair, or twisted peace as I relish in the emotion and pain.
Of course, sometimes I want to feel nothing. Sometimes, I don't want to feel any kind of emotion, including emptiness, so I distract myself from everything be it by books, games, or shows. I can't do this often, or for extended periods of time, however, because of limited attention, lack of content, or just the unwillingness to do so.
So mainly, I bounce back and forth between emptiness and sadness, finding relief on some occasions. It hurts, but it's stable, and stability is key in my case. What things do you do to cope with everything? I'd like to spice up my standard emotional cycle a bit. It's stable, but boring, as I know everything to come in the future regarding it.

My method is to do something physical like sports. I am into tennis and golf, but when the depression is very bad I do not have the energy to get up and do anything. I sometimes wish I could do what you described and not feel anything at all. That would give me some break. Sorry I do not have more to offer.