[Dani Rae]

Does anyone here experience depersonalization/derealization during depressive episodes? I hadn't had a bad enough depressive episode to trigger them in a couple years. That changed about a month ago. I forgot how difficult it is to deal with depersonalization/derealization. It's like a whole different level of the emptiness of depression. It's almost impossible to cope productively or work to get better when I'm disconnected from my self, my body, my emotions, the world around me, and the people in it.

I also feel "crazy." It's really hard to try to describe it to people who haven't experienced it. It's like my self is constricted and my entire consciousness has been compressed to a little ball in the back of my skull. Physically my body feels heavy and numb and my head feels like it has been packed with cotton. Time gets weird. Moments seem to last forever, but I can stare into space for almost an hour and feel like it was only minutes. And the poor people who try to help me while I'm in that state. i can't describe what's going on, and it's like nothing they say is real. Suggestions and expressions of concern/care/love have no impact besides causing frustration. Then i argue because I'm incapable of connecting to what they're saying so I want to convince them that it's not real.

I don't know how to deal with this well. In the moment all I can think of are unhealthy/harmful coping strategies. So far, the research I've done has mostly turned up results about trauma and DID. I haven't been able to find anything substantial related to depression and dissociation. Hopefully someone can share some experience or strategies to cope.

[Shancan]

Yes. I have stretches in deep depression were I can’t feel my limbs. They don’t seem attached to my body. My son will hold my hand and it terrifies me because I can’t understand how I can feel his hand when it doesn’t seem part of my body. I try and breath my way through it. Nobody knows it’s happening ... except my psychiatrist. I cope by just trying to distract myself. Or I go and hide in bed. I’ve tried grounding techniques but for me it almost seems to make it worse. It’s hard. Sorry I don’t have much more of a helpful post for you. Just know I sooooo can relate.

[Dani Rae]

Originally Posted by Shancan

Sorry I don’t have much more of a helpful post for you. Just know I sooooo can relate.

Well it does help to be able say it and have someone relate. When it's happening I can't explain it. Sometimes I can't even respond with more than a shrug or few syllables. The rest of the time I just don't want to try to explain it. So it's nice to be able to express it.

[Shancan]

It is so hard to explain! I have times were everything around me is surreal and can’t understand what is happening to me. It’s scary. But I hold onto the fact it will stop. Hugs to you!

[Fuzzybear]

[SlumberKitty]

Sometimes grounding will work for me if I'm feeling dissociated. But sometimes it doesn't. I try to pay attention to what I see, smell, touch, etc. I try to wash my hands with cold water or take a cold shower to sort of "shock" myself back into feeling. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Kit.

[stahrgeyzer]

So that's what it's called. When I get very depressed all of a sudden the world seems to slow down, like everything's in slow motion, and it feels like I'm not exactly in my body. Everything sounds muffled. It's a weird weird feeling. I guess that's called depersonalization?

[zapatoes]

Never heard of it, do sometimes get very depressed and feel like I just exist. Do try to continue walking daily, watching a show I enjoy, and eating fairly healthy.

[Dani Rae]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Sometimes grounding will work for me if I'm feeling dissociated. But sometimes it doesn't. I try to pay attention to what I see, smell, touch, etc. I try to wash my hands with cold water or take a cold shower to sort of "shock" myself back into feeling. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Kit.

I will have to try to do some grounding exercises. I even know a few, I just haven't been able to make myself do them. Gotta love having tools and letting them sit in the box. My therapist also suggested taking a shower or using other forms of tactile stimulation.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you Please know that you're not the only one. There are many people who can relate, especially here (as this thread shows...).