[Evaluna]

Yesterday afternoon every bad feeling came flooding back and I just kept thinking over and over that I can't keep on living this life and I didn't want to be here.

Since then some kind of paranoia has taken over and all I can think is that people are talking about me and I'm in serious trouble at work and I'm going to get fired. In most people's reality, none of this is true, I've not done anything wrong. But my boss wanted me to go on a trip to London and no matter what I said she wouldn't take no for an answer. My brain has twisted this into me being sent to see someone really high up who is going to fire me. Why??? I've never really struggled with paranoia before, I don't drink any more and I don't do drugs other than what is prescribed to me for my ongoing depression and crohns disease.

I really do genuinely hate feeling this way, our minds are such amazing but terrible things.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sending hugs if ok

[mote.of.soul]

Yes, you're right Evaluna, our minds are such amazing and terrible things. They really are.

I can only speculate but perhaps your self esteem has taken a knock, perhaps due to the crohns, idk, which has lead to a kind of depression - and from there lead into the paranoid thoughts? I'm only suggesting that because in my own experience when I'm feeling low for whatever reasons, yes, the inner negativities have a tendency to build on themselves. I try to use distractions and mindfulness to counter that now, but still, those thought processes are there. For me.

Anyway, hang in there, stay strong, and there's a good chance it will pass completely in time.