[sinking]

Today the holiday week started. im not going to be off the whole week but i'll only work 1,5 days (tomorrow and wed morning). its very good.

today was spent as any other weekend/off day. sleeping in, eating well, a lot of tv, cats and family.

im a bit worried about going back to work tomorrow but i hope it will go quite smoothly. im a bit more worried about seeing T on wed and pdoc on friday.

im not even sure it will be worth writing about it here this week, but surely if anything comes up, i'll post about it. it helps a lot.
i wish everyone a nice week.

[Fuzzybear]

sinking

[sinking]

Today went pretty well. there were a lot more calls than i had imagined or hoped for, but i survived the day. i was happy to see P, he smiled so warmly and genuinely when he saw me, it really warmed my heart. we only exchanged a few words during the whole day but it was nice to have him next to me again. i had missed him last week.

not much else to mention for today except my male supervisor was kind to me tonight and offered me a candy for my sore throat. he was so nice, he is so nice, yet im very uneasy and scared by him. he feels too authoritative to me.

tomorrow im seeing T and i have her letter ready for her. i hope it will do some good to her.

then i'll have 4 days off from work in a row and i hope i'll be able to enjoy them. sometimes at my parents i have missed my flat. not having to listen or talk. it means a lot to me. i'll also see my pdoc on fri, but i'll disuss about it with my T tomorrow and then will decide what to tell pdoc…. cant wait to go to sleep tonight…. im tired.

[sinking]

Today work was really heavy on me, not sure why but i felt i was going to explode. im so glad im having 4 days off now.

i saw my T this afternoon and we talked a bit about last week's meeting, having P next to me again and the dinner with my parents. we also talked about what im going to tell to my pdoc on friday (we opted for a half truth). i didnt have much to say. we also talked a bit about the improvements i have achieved during these years but none of this touched me.

at the end of the session i gave her a thank you letter. maybe i also should have said i dont deserve her, her time and her energies, but i will tell her if it comes up next week. i wish i had received a text from her but oh well, i'll see her next friday.

i'll dedicate the next days to a relaxing binge watching...

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( sinking )))))))))

[sinking]

Thanks Fuzzy… hugs to you!

today… slept late, been binge watching all day with my cat and ate anything available that i wanted (and upset by not having that chocolate here and especially by gaining weight AGAIN!). mom tried to be with me but i didnt feel like it.

tomorrow i'll see my pdoc (will have to lie to her) and my friend for dinner afterwards. but really, all i want to do is lie down in bed alone with my tv series...

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( sinking ))))))))))

[sinking]

Today im just… tired. of my body especially. since i got bitten by the tick its all a mess. im fighting with sore throat, slight cold and coughing since last weekend. during these last days i've had intimate issues too and today got worse, so that i may have to go to the gyn. and even if i havent done much all week and slept as much as i wanted i still feel sleepy and tired. and i do nothing else than watching tv in bed!!!

the meeting with pdoc went well. she asked a few questions and then complied my requests about the meds. all of them! and it was so easy!

then i saw my friend but there was something off about her tonight. i dont know what. in her look. she seemed bothered, annoyed, upset, i dont know… but it went ok anyway. i dont think it was about me. i hope not…

tonight i had another weird dream. i was going back home after some sort of school reunion (???), i was in my car driving but i couldnt figure out where to go. i didnt know where was my flat, where was my parents' house and i knew i had to go to work the day after but i couldnt remember what was/is my job and where to go. it was SO weird!

i hope tomorrow will be a better day…

[Mopey]

Hi Sinking.

I have those sorts of dreams frequently, where I can’t remember where I parked my car, or I’m supposed to take some important test but I can’t find the classroom; stuff like that. Have no idea what they mean but they leave me upset and frustrated when I wake up.

I wonder if you could have gotten sick from your tick bite? Those things carry germs sometimes..

Anyway, wishing you a good day....🙂

[sinking]

Thank you Mopey, yes these kind of dreams are very frustrating. but its such a relief when i wake up and remember it all find out it was just a nightmare!

Today i've been doing better physically and mentally. i spent the day as any other off day, but i finally feel more rested and i think i'll manage going back to work on monday. or i hope so...

[mountainstream]

[sinking]

Today was so-so. a day off as any other, cats, tv series, food etc. except my parents' hot water isnt working . and my intimate problems are still there, so i'll have to call the gyn

at least i feel kind of ready to go back to work. i'll have wed free since its holiday, but i'll have the course on sat . and on friday its my Home's anniversary, so a sad week ahead…