[15anddepressed]

I am 15 and depressed. I just feel down most of the time. My parents are good people and I love them but I feel overwhelmed sometimes.

I am copying this from a reddit post I made (username: throwaway15depressed) so I don't have to write my story again.

I am a 15 year old boy, and for the past few years I feel my parents have been somewhat overbearing. I love them and they are good people with good intentions, but I feel they overwhelm me sometimes.

Whenever I have to do chores like sweeping or mopping the floor, if I miss a small part of the floor, my parents (dad especially) will get on me and say things like "90% is not good enough in the real world", and say that because I missed a spot it doesn't count until I get everything properly. They call me lazy, and sometimes underhandedly insult my intelligence, even though they keep telling me I'm not stupid. To be fair, sometimes I am lazy and just do it half-*** but sometimes I genuinely missed it and I still get berated. Another thing is my grades (I am enrolled in an online school), they aren't super strict with it, but even if I get 90% they don't even really acknowledge it beyond "good, but it could be better". I am a good student overall with mostly A+, just lazy sometimes and If I make a mistake on a quiz and get something like 83% when they receive the email (they get email notifications when I submit an assignment and when an assignment is graded) they kinda question me about it. They told me that will kick me out at 18 if I'm not "doing something" meaning learned a skill and getting a job (I can't get a job in the country I live in because I'm not a citizen at least until I get a work visa, and most of companies don't hire many foreigners unless the company is owned by foreigners so I would have to get a higher-skill job) I kinda get it but I feel the burden is quite heavy to put on me at my age (they've been telling me this since I was 13) especially with the other things they are pushing me to do. Over the past few years I've lost interest in almost everything I had interest in (coding, soccer, music production and others) and the only thing that gives me some degree of pleasure is video games and internet surfing. I have a small interest in US politics (I'm half-American), even though I don't want to pursue a career in that field, it's just an interest. My dad basically told me it was a waste of time to be reading and learning about politics if I wasn't going to pursue it further, and as a result I am slowly but not completely losing interest in that as well. I am lazy sometimes, which may or may not be from my depression. I don't know what to think because it's like the chicken and the egg question, is it the laziness that made me depressed, which is making me more lazy and more depressed, or is it the other way around? Maybe I am just a lazy teenager who's using depression as an excuse, or maybe I am depressed. I don't know. Some occasions after getting yelled at I just go into the bathroom and cry for several minutes and think to myself "maybe I am useless idiot who will get nowhere in life". My dad has told me that maybe I am depressed, but it's not an excuse and on one occasion said everyone has depression, he also said that if I am depressed that nothing he says will matter as I will only ending up killing myself; my mom seems to agree with him. Needless to say, telling him I have depression is not going to do much. They've started doing these things when I was around 12, even more once I became a teen. Their intent isn't malicious and I know that they are trying to prepare me for the "real world" but it's really weighing on me. Even worse is because I'm home schooled in a foreign country I can speak the language but there aren't many kids that I can connect with like someone who's more like me, so I don't have any friends except one person who comes and goes every year or so. I know this is quite long and there's more I want to say, but I don't want make it too long. I just want some people to talk to and to cheer me up a little, so I will try to reply to comments as much as I can.

[Mopey]

Hugs (((((15anddepressed))))) I'm not surprised you are down on yourself. Understand that as human beings it is not in us to be perfect. We need to be validated for what we have done, not for what falls short of perfect. Parents can mean well but be abysmally ignorant about how to raise children. Please keep in touch with us here on the forum.

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Hugs (((((15anddepressed))))) I'm not surprised you are down on yourself. Understand that as human beings it is not in us to be perfect. We need to be validated for what we have done, not for what falls short of perfect. Parents can mean well but be abysmally ignorant about how to raise children. Please keep in touch with us here on the forum.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I sent you a visitor message on your profile. Hopefully that'll help you.

Just make sure you take care of yourself and receive proper treatment.

My parents too are like this. They think I am lacking something -- it's their neurotic thinking. I don't lack anything, in the sense I should be worried. Man is always learning.

My parents did teach me some maladaptive strategies, such as "avoid failure at all costs", but I am recovering... I am not letting the fact I did not opt for physics stop letting me do research in physics in future... I am going to get a doctorate in (physical) chemistry and I shall do research on physics. Specifically, my aim is to give a theory on quantum gravity. You won't believe; but I did work on my mathematics today (even though tomorrow's my zoology exam, and there's no math in it) by reading and solving Thomas' and Finney's book on calculus. I am inspired by how Stephen Hawking rightly said, "There should be no boundary to human endeavor."

I believe you should see a psychiatrist or a therapist or even perhaps even better, both. Depression can lead to some serious mental health problems if left untreated.

Also, my final advise to be take an interest in the sciences. I am not shoving my philosophy in your throat, but choosing to study the magnificent and incredible Universe is a good career path. But then again, I am biased.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, 15anddepressed! I agree with what all the other wise posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you can if you want to! It's no wonder you'd feel like this since you're getting treated this HORRIBLY by your parents! I don't believe they're good parents at all and I'm SO SORRY that you have to deal with them! Please remember that you're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON and that you WILL be able to achieve great things in like, no matter what your parents say or think of you! Are there any other family member that you can reach out to and that may be able to help you or to treat you better? I'd suggest to talk to your friend as well as soon as you can and see how it goes from there! Hopefully he will be able to help yoy one way or another! I think it's important for you to get away from them as soon as you can if you can! I feel like you're not receiving the love and respect that you need and deserve AT ALL and that's terrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with them and I hope that you'll be able to ask for help and that things will get better soon for you! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings and hopefully you could be able to find a way to get out of this HORRIBLE situation! Perhaps you could try to see an ONLINE therapist if you can't or don't want to see one in person! Is that an option? Can you afford it? Please let us know how it goes and what you decide and keep us updated as much as you can and want to! Remember that we're here for you if you need it. I promise you that we won't judge you and that you'll be loved here! Please take GREAT care of yourseld and try not to listen to what your parents are saying about you because IT IS NOT TRUE! I hope you'll be able to see that and to see yourself like the strong, wonderful person that you truly are! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, 15anddepressed! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You're AWESOME! You're STRONG! You're a WARRIOR! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! You deserve to feel good and to live an happy, fulfilling life just like everyone else does! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! Nobody deserves to suffer AT ALL, certainly NOT YOU! Remember that we're here for you fi you need ANY KIND of LOVE and SUPPORT! WE ALL LOVE YOU HERE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I sent you a visitor message on your profile. Hopefully that'll help you.

Just make sure you take care of yourself and receive proper treatment.

Thanks a lot for your kind words and I wish you all the best in your endeavors.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

[15anddepressed]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, 15anddepressed! I agree with what all the other wise posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you can if you want to! It's no wonder you'd feel like this since you're getting treated this HORRIBLY by your parents! I don't believe they're good parents at all and I'm SO SORRY that you have to deal with them! Please remember that you're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON and that you WILL be able to achieve great things in like, no matter what your parents say or think of you! Are there any other family member that you can reach out to and that may be able to help you or to treat you better? I'd suggest to talk to your friend as well as soon as you can and see how it goes from there! Hopefully he will be able to help yoy one way or another! I think it's important for you to get away from them as soon as you can if you can! I feel like you're not receiving the love and respect that you need and deserve AT ALL and that's terrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with them and I hope that you'll be able to ask for help and that things will get better soon for you! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings and hopefully you could be able to find a way to get out of this HORRIBLE situation! Perhaps you could try to see an ONLINE therapist if you can't or don't want to see one in person! Is that an option? Can you afford it? Please let us know how it goes and what you decide and keep us updated as much as you can and want to! Remember that we're here for you if you need it. I promise you that we won't judge you and that you'll be loved here! Please take GREAT care of yourseld and try not to listen to what your parents are saying about you because IT IS NOT TRUE! I hope you'll be able to see that and to see yourself like the strong, wonderful person that you truly are! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, 15anddepressed! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You're AWESOME! You're STRONG! You're a WARRIOR! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! You deserve to feel good and to live an happy, fulfilling life just like everyone else does! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! Nobody deserves to suffer AT ALL, certainly NOT YOU! Remember that we're here for you fi you need ANY KIND of LOVE and SUPPORT! WE ALL LOVE YOU HERE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!

I can't thank you enough for your words of support. Unfortunately, I practically have no options of getting help or support outside of places like this, that one friend is a good person, but isn't the type of person I can talk to about things like this, nor do I want to. I have no extended family, as my granddad is in America, and my extended family on my mom's side are in Japan and they are strangers to me. Basically my only option is to just push through it, and keep talking to you kind people.

[whimsicalman]

Asian ethnicities tend to struggle with facing mental health as an actual, valid issue. There might be some of that happening in your own family dynamic. I am ethnically Filipino, and I am probably the one person in my immediate and extended families to be the person to force the realization of the struggles and potential effects of mental health issues. I don't get any direct derogatory or stupidly misinformed rhetoric. But at the same time, no one quite knows how to deal with me sometimes. I do know that people are starting to clue in. At a family gathering (which tends to have a lot of people), one of my relatives whose house was hosting came over and told me that "my room" was always available for whenever I needed it. (It was in reference to one of the guest rooms I used for a short period of time in between places. But in this context, it was meant to be a place where I could go to get away if I started to feel overwhelmed and anxious.)

The unfortunate thing is that it took a my near-death to make it painfully obvious that mental issues can have serious consequences if handled badly or not at all.

I hope that it does not come down to that for you. Taking the steps to find any kind of community of people who understand and can listen shows that you are grasping your own sense of mental wellbeing and how to start coping. My hope for you is that you find this site and other online communities helpful. I wish the Teen Lounge was more active for you. I hope you are able to find online communities for other teens struggling with mental health.

Not sure how things are for you financially, but there are options for online therapy sessions with clinicians who use the Internet to see clients. Maybe someone might be willing to cut you a major deal since you are a teenager without the support of your parents. But I don't know.

[mountainstream]