As I get closer to my first psychiatric appointment, I would think I’d be excited about getting help, but I don’t. I’m down everyday, I feel like I’m the worst person in the world, I bring others down and treat them horribly. I feel worthless, I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, I feel alone and like no one cares what happens to me. I’m drowning, my bills are piling up, I’ve been a month without pay and it’s been hard on top of losing my car. I feel like I’m failing everyone around me, especially the people who need me most. I can’t focus, my brain is literally going all over the place and I can’t even think. All I want to do is crawl in a hole at this point; that way I’d stop hurting people.
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