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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 27
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#1
For context on my experiences, you can read my other posts, especially my first post.
I wrote this as my first time ever writing a rap song, and just wanted to share it. Obviously I can't perform it, I'm not a rapper or a lyricist, nor do I have what I need to perform it. Let me know what you think, I'm not a lyricist so it's probably not that good. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I know that you love me, you know that I love you I want to tell you about the things that I’ve been put through I only wish that you as my mom knew, and my dad too How you make me feel when you berate me for minor things I know that you’re trying to make me a finer man, so I can bring Pride, knowing that you raised me as a fine person But I might worsen, with sadness lurking, as you make me feel like a bad person For not contributing enough, or being lazy and stupid, my mind is hazy and lucid At the same time, and I am trying, but I’m struggling to prove it, ‘cause I’ve lost motivation Due to my depression, this is my confession, I feel worthless I know you won’t believe me, and telling you would prove fruitless I seem like a happy kid but I beat myself down You tell me that I’m smart, you tell me that I’m cool, but really I feel dumb, like a fool, but I shouldn’t be, in theory My life is good, my parents are involved, but my mood revolves From happy to gloomy, in different times of day I never feel either side all the way, except for my gloom, in actuality In reality, I never really feel happy, only okay to no, wait- What am I saying, it doesn’t really matter, You aren’t going to hear it, so love me or not I often feel the latter Even though in my heart I know it’s the former, but rather Tough or harsh or misguided love, and even if I don’t believe in God If he’s up there I hope that he can see from abroad That I need something that I don’t get right now, and that is appreciation But every time you yell at me all I feel is depreciation I know you’re just trying to prepare me for the real world But I feel burdened, or maybe I should feel that way Either way my true feelings are furled and curled up Into a ball and thrown deep into the caves of my brain Don’t know why I’m feeling this way, maybe I am lazy, maybe I am stupid Or maybe these problems are more deeply rooted Whatever the answer I’m doubting myself But deep inside I’m thinking, “why help thyself?” I can’t, and I have no one to turn to I wish I was happy, I wish that were true I’m not perfect, so maybe I can learn too But I hope that someone understands me Then, someone can listen empathetically As I let out my emotions, pathetically This is nearing the end so to everyone listening, I hope that this suffices Just know that I’d never harbor vices To the people that made me and raised me as who I am today But when I feel truly happy again then that’d be the day That I have finally, finally broken out of my gloomy daze |
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mote.of.soul
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mote.of.soul
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
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#2
Hey 15anddepressed,
I think it's really cool and really quite touching as well. I could feel the sadness and the hurt, the love. Says a lot about you, that you're a good person. There's a lot of maturity in your writing. But not only that - it's great rhyming as well. I thought it was great. Hugs!! Thanks very much for sharing! |
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15anddepressed
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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 27
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#3
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mote.of.soul
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Member Since May 2019
Location: Germany
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#4
Are you still only 15 and depressed? I think, quite honestly, you should perform, you should rap your own rap.
"I am not a rapper", that is already one of those self-negating thoughts that should be avoided. I maintain, you ARE a rapper. Keep on rapping! Good luck! You're very talented! |
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Germany
Posts: 352
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#5
Could I share with you my latest poem?
Here I go. The title is: That Strange Green Vase The strange green vase Of strange green glass You see through it Distorted visions Of a strange green past. It's empty, yet can be filled Like the drawers, The full ones, the empty ones Order, it suggests, Must be wrapped in something soft. It's breakable. Where are you now, You sweet green vase? You were cheap, a giveaway Yet hand blown, Tender, thin walled, small, And friendly. |
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mote.of.soul
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Location: Bangkok
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#8
Thanks for sharing
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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 27
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#9
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