[Try2survive]

Hi.

I have depression. I started going to therapy in January 2019. I go to therapy every week, never missed a session, never appeared late. I am trying to do my part, But honestly, I don't want to get better. I don't want to recover. I don't the bleeding to stop. I feel that I am wasting my time, the therapist time and the resources dedicated to me.

What should I do?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Try2survive: Thank you for sharing your concern here on PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the psychotherapy forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/psychotherapy/

You wrote you don't want to recover & you wondered what to do. My thinking is that, since you're in therapy, this would be an excellent topic for discussion there.

Here's a link to an "Ask the Therapist" article, from Psych Central's archives, where the writer asked about feeling like s/he did not want to get better. I think the therapist's reply is apropos. Also here's a link to an article that discusses 15 ways people sometimes resist therapy or recovery:

Not Wanting To Get Better - Ask the Therapist

15 Ways You Are Resisting Therapy or Recovery | Caregivers, Family & Friends

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[Try2survive]

Thanks for your reply.

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate, Try2survive! Have you asked yourself what may be the cause? There may be several reasons why that may happen as it has been illustrated in one of the wise Skeezyks' excellent articles. Perhaps you don't feel comfortable with your therapist. Perhaps you feel like you don't deserve to get better even though you certainly do. I agree with Skeezyks about talking to your therapist about ALL of this. It will very likely be helpful for you to explore the causes. Give it a thought if you want to! YOU DESERVE TO GET BETTER! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Try2survive, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!