[b4dizzle]

I have a few questions about depression. It is something that I have struggled with for a lot of my life. I have good times and bad times. Something that people always ask me is, "What was it that made you feel better?" I honestly most of the time have no idea how to answer that question. I don't know what it is that pulls me out of the low times.

Recently I have had a very close friend reach out to me, who is experiencing the same feelings of depression that I have in my life. I have tried to sort through my thoughts and to figure out how I can help her based on how I helped myself or how others helped me, but I can't think of anything specific.

So I would like to ask the question, What have you done for others, or have had others do to you, that has made you feel like there is hope and that you can pull yourself out of it?

[Skeezyks]

Well...since I'm pretty-much thoroughly reclusive myself, I can't speak to the question of what one might do for others or what others might do for me. However what I do for myself that helps is simply to get busy doing something... anything. At first it may feel like sheer drudgery. But after a while it helps. One thing I have always been good at personally (there haven't been many) has been making myself do whatever it is that needs to be done no matter how I feel. Growing up, my father was fond of saying: "You don't have to like it. You just have to do it." I've taken that as my mantra.

[annoyedgrunt84]

My depression ebbs and flows. I usually find that it is better when I do things than when I just sit around, I know that sounds simplistic but even just reading a book, or going outside and pulling some weeds in the garden helps and makes me feel better at the end of the day. Doing almost anything is better than doing nothing for me.

Yes, same for me. It wouldn't feel so bad, if I weren't so lonely, so I make an effort to put myself out there, so to speak. But that is a challenge in its own and one I am frustrated with often. But I would rather be lonely than alone all the time.

[Mopey]

I think it is really kind and giving of you to want to help your friend with this, and I agree with all the above sentiments. Doing something - anything - will tend to pull you out of yourself and help your energy start to flow.

But another thing that you can do for your friend, and which I've always found remarkably healing if people will do it, is just listen. Let them talk about what's going on with them, and listen, without offering advice, without offering judgement unless asked. It sometimes helps a person just to get this stuff out in the air.