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Deilla
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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 09:33 AM
  #1
Not sure if I was too clingy. I was trying to respect the space he wanted. I thought I was. We used to talk every day and then things changed. No big deal. It's just that when you see someone every day and they don't show up for 3 days, you worry at first. It takes communication to set things straight if the rules of the relationship are changing. My friend gave up on me. I expressed concern about him being online and not chatting with me this last time. Again, something out of the ordinary. He said he had enough and left my Discord server. He also defriended me. We were friends for 4 years. Talked almost every day. I think he could have been more understanding. Oh well. I guess he didn't really value the relationship.

No matter how I try to justify it, I still feel hurt and disappointed. I'm very upset by all of this. Makes me want to give up on friendships. Like I can't trust people. Don't know what I should do. It's not easy for me to make friends. I'm very sad.

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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 09:48 AM
  #2
I am sorry you lost a friend.

I hate that feeling when you've just heard that they don't want to be your friend anymore and you get that sinking feeling and the thought well... does anyone? (I don't know if you get that, but I do)

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Deilla
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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 10:28 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I am sorry you lost a friend.

I hate that feeling when you've just heard that they don't want to be your friend anymore and you get that sinking feeling and the thought well... does anyone? (I don't know if you get that, but I do)

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Thanks! I almost feel like something is wrong with me. I know I shouldn't feel that way. But I do.

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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 11:17 AM
  #4
I'm sorry that happened to you. I think its quite cruel just dropping someone like that, especially after 4 years. And talking almost every day. It is natural to wonder if he ever valued the friendship.
Sadly, there are a lot of cruel people in this world. And its even worse when they disguise themselves as 'nice' people.
If he had wanted to 'move on' he could at least have said something kinder, imo.. but then people who don't care do tend to show who they really are, eventually.

Something not dissimilar happened to me a few years ago. Dropped with cruelty .. 'had enough' … very familiar words. I guess he had had enough supply from you. and wanted new supply from someone else (narcissistic supply)


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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 11:33 AM
  #5
I lost one too. It's crazy how much you miss them when they're not around. Wish I appreciated them more when they were cause I feel way more depressed without them.

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Deilla
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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 12:10 PM
  #6
I don't know why, but as the day progresses, I feel more and more depressed. It's my fault. My inner critic has kicked in and is tearing me apart. I think I just need to go to bed.

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Default Sep 28, 2019 at 12:41 PM
  #7
Nothing AT ALL is wrong with you, @Deilla! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY and that you're GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN! I TRULY, REALLY AM! I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH WHAT ALL THE OTHER WISE AND WONDERFUL POSTERS HAVE ALREADY WISELY AND WONDERFULLY SAID BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! If he did need more personal space, he should have just said so in my opinion, or at least he should have clarified things with you before cutting off contacts with you since you've been friends for so long! Allow yourself to take time to grieve your Loss. I am SURE you'll find some other friends at some point one way or another. Please NEVER give up Hope no matter what happens! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need someone to talk to or vent to or even if you need some advice and support! I am SURE PLENTY OF OTHERS WILL ALSO GLALDY, WONDERFULLY, BEAUTIFULLY, WISELY AND KINDLY HELP YOU OUT AS WELL! Sending Many Safe, Warm Hugs To BOTH You, @Deilla, Your Family, Your Friends, Your Doctors And ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY and that you're GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN! I TRULY, DEEPLY AM! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!

Last edited by MickeyCheeky; Sep 28, 2019 at 01:07 PM..
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Default Sep 29, 2019 at 02:20 AM
  #8
@MickeyCheeky, thank you! Today I feel a lot better. I've had time to rest and think about things. The relationship was mainly negative energy. It's good that he's gone. It's freed up some space. I sort of feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I deserve good friends. Now I have the freedom for it. I learned some valuable lessons. It wasn't all bad. I'll miss having him to chat with at like 2 am in the morning. Hugs to everyone!

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Default Sep 29, 2019 at 09:21 PM
  #9
You'll find someone else to chat with at 2 AM.

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Default Sep 29, 2019 at 11:02 PM
  #10
@bpcyclist, I hope so. I did a little socializing yesterday on one of my games and on Discord. It was nice being around some new people.

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Default Sep 30, 2019 at 01:28 AM
  #11
Hugs to you Deilla, I can relate to this. I had an internet friend I felt close to. I felt like he cared, at list a fair bit. In my case, he said he had too much to deal with, also that he couldn't be there for everyone all the time. So I blamed myself for being too needy. It hurts whether I really was too needy or not. I miss him to this day and it's been a long while. I hope you will find some peace with it, for me it has taken a lot of time to accept. But I'm sensitive and I take friendships seriously.... life just hurts us sometimes. Maybe that person didn't mean to hurt you in any way, but it doesn't mean you forget them easily.
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Default Oct 01, 2019 at 06:42 PM
  #12
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Originally Posted by Deilla View Post
Not sure if I was too clingy. I was trying to respect the space he wanted. I thought I was. We used to talk every day and then things changed. No big deal. It's just that when you see someone every day and they don't show up for 3 days, you worry at first. It takes communication to set things straight if the rules of the relationship are changing. My friend gave up on me. I expressed concern about him being online and not chatting with me this last time. Again, something out of the ordinary. He said he had enough and left my Discord server. He also defriended me. We were friends for 4 years. Talked almost every day. I think he could have been more understanding. Oh well. I guess he didn't really value the relationship.

No matter how I try to justify it, I still feel hurt and disappointed. I'm very upset by all of this. Makes me want to give up on friendships. Like I can't trust people. Don't know what I should do. It's not easy for me to make friends. I'm very sad.
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! Your friend decide to end his friendship with you. It happens! It was his problem not yours.
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Default Oct 01, 2019 at 06:43 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I am sorry you lost a friend.

I hate that feeling when you've just heard that they don't want to be your friend anymore and you get that sinking feeling and the thought well... does anyone? (I don't know if you get that, but I do)

hugs
I feel the same! It worst web you never knew why they won't talk to you!
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Deilla
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Default Oct 01, 2019 at 06:55 PM
  #14
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Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! Your friend decide to end his friendship with you. It happens! It was his problem not yours.
Thank you! That's what I have to tell myself. That I worked hard on that relationship. If he ended it, it's his problem. He never compromised on anything. It was always his way or no way at all. Actually, it's good riddance to him.

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