[ROSEWATER]

Today is the Sunday before Christmas. I have moved down to Tegusegulpa the captial and largest city in Hondoras where there is better and more medical care. There is a psychotheraispit in one of the hospitals I am going to try to get into see. Moving down here makes me calmer. My exxhusband and I have resoolved most of our differences and invited me ddown here and found the psychotherapist. I feel calmer, but not much change in depression.

I am a writer, and am very upset with myself that I cannot get the energy up to finish putting my novel on Amazon. I just seem to have lost all interest in anything. However, it has been a huge shock, a truly hurtful one that I seem to have lost my interest in writing. I have been writing since I was 4 years old. Have tons of material written, esp. on Alexander the Great, I have studied him the last 30 years or so,written 2 books about him but not seriously published them other than on the Internet. People are after me to get them seriously published. It is a sign that my depresssion is so bad I cannot even write about Alexander who is sort of like the other side of myself. I don't know what will become of me if I cannot get myself back to writing. It is all I have truly ever lived for.

All for now. Take care to anyone who should read this. I really appreciate people's help. more than I cAN EVER truly express. Sorry for the poor typing errors. It is a sign of how poorly I am doing.

May the Gods bless everyone with joy on Christmas.

[Mopey]

It's possible the psychotherapist can get you started on some medication that might help give you that needed push out of your deep depression, Rosie. Also just talking things over with him/her you may find lifts your spirits a bit. Glad to hear some things at least have improved. So there's hope, yes?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I had exactly the same experience while depressed. I'm really sorry.

It's scary. But depression and the complex thoughts needed for creative writing do not go together well, as I'm sure you know.

Please try to give yourself a break about it.

I'd still been trying to force the writing (and work full-time, alongside a horrible boss). It seemed the only good thing in my life. But it seems crazy now, the way I ignored how ill I'd become and pushed and pushed myself.

Meds helped me enormously. I'm still taking an anti-depressant. Not ideal, but maybe I can come off it someday.

Well, the good news is that my writing is going better than ever.

Much love to you.

Try to have faith in the process, and meds if you can take them, and your therapist.