[Wants2Fly]

I have spent the past two days sitting in a recliner with my laptop playing FreeCell Solitaire.

Not surfing the web, writing emails, writing anything at all.

Not looking for work, sending out resumes, doing anything at all productive.

I know that I need sunlight and exercise and a schedule and goals.

During the job interview Thursday, they asked what my longterm and short-term goals are. I said -- what I've learned in the past year is that man plans, God laughs. That my long term and short term goals are the same -- to deal with whatever God puts on my plate, to have a job (I'm a college teacher) where maybe I can do a little bit of good and help young people to reach their goals, and have a little home of my own, like I used to before my life completely collapsed.

I don't think they were impressed.

I know that sitting in this chair playing thousands of games is solitaire is dysfunctional, but I can't seem to stop. I'm completely addicted to the game, and I have an addictive personality.

Any suggestions?

I'm considering taking the game off the computer, but honestly, I love it so much, it's my escape from everything. I've tried limiting how many games I play in a day, and it doesn't work.

I know it sounds as if all I have to do is get out of the **** chair, and it should be that easy, but it isn't. What is wrong with me?

[Haley]

What is wrong with me?
************************************************************
Ummmmm, sound's like you LIKE to play solitaire. Perhaps playing
solitaire is a temporary escape from thinking about finding a job.
I play a computer game, The Sims, and for hours and hours I am glued
to the game.
Well, guess I didn't have much advice for you.

[dexter]

Depression can do that. It does that to me... sometimes with the internet, sometimes with watching TV. For a while I was able to channel it into working on my website and I got a lot done. I was still sitting, essentially "playing" on the computer all day, and not getting anything else done... food, bills, etc. But I was lucky to find something that at least gave me some satisfaction of accomplishment and was constructive.

Maybe you can find something... what is it you like about Solitaire? Is it sitting at the computer? Is it the card game? If it is the computer, maybe try to find something else to do on the computer... maybe learn about an interest or hobby by researching on the internet? If it is the game, maybe getting a deck of cards and shutting the computer off will help break the cycle. Ultimately I think we do these things to avoid what is stressful. Maybe a way to channel something toward your goal by using what you are already doing. I spent some time signing up on Monster.com with my resume... it helped toward my goal of looking for a job, but also kept me in my "safe" environment, web surfing on my computer.

Ultimately I think as the depression begins to lift I think this will be less of a problem.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[dexter]

>>During the job interview Thursday, they asked what my longterm and short-term goals are. I said -- what I've learned in the past year is that man plans, God laughs. That my long term and short term goals are the same -- to deal with whatever God puts on my plate, to have a job (I'm a college teacher) where maybe I can do a little bit of good and help young people to reach their goals, and have a little home of my own, like I used to before my life completely collapsed.

First of all I think that is a FANTASTIC answer. I think it is almost the perfect answer... philosophical yet connected with the practicality of turning it into a hiring attribute.

I can't say what recruiters are looking for in an answer to that question... but consider it in terms of how other people must answer... I'd bet most people fumble with it without providing anything substantiative... and those prepared for the question must work so hard thinking of the "correct" answer that they probably come off rehearsed and insincere. It really can be a trick question, if you answer it too literally it may be either a lie or a negative quality... most people have aspirations of improving their career as time goes on... so do you say "in ten years I hope to have a job in a better school than yours" (open trap door in floor under applicant ) or do you say "I want to work here for the rest of my life" and sound like you have nothing driving you toward a rewarding future?

The question is like the Kobiyashi Maru of interview questions... a question without a correct answer. The question is a test of character. I think you answered it admirably!

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[Wants2Fly]

I am so relieved that this happens to other people, too.

Yes, it has something to do with being at the computer, which I associate with "work." Until 2 months ago, I had a mac, and there are NO free games on a mac, so I never played games on a computer, period.

Before I had the game, I DID spend a lot of time building a website -- I even started building a website for EACH job I was really interested in to show off my skills. And posting resumes online.

You are definitely onto something by suggesting I find ways to sit at the computer AND be productive, feel like I'm accomplishing something.

Oh, great advice, great advice. I'll let you know if I have the self-discipline to follow through.

I used to use reading romance novels in the same mindless way, as escape, that I am using this game.