[Bobby92]

Here goes nothing

Im 27 with a career living alone

I have a history of being bullied in high school.

Possible trigger:

I was hit by 47 other student due to betrayal of my best friend.

Last year i had a traumatic loss in relationship. My GF of 7 years cheat on me with other boyfriend. I got a video and photo of her with other man that she herself send it to me just few months before our wedding and run off with her choice

Then i get up and coupled up with a great girl. I told her everything.even bout my past. Then my ex comeback and said things to my new GF making her hard to believe in me again. And now my relationship has flew into the gutter. 9 months of memory. I cant live without her. Im still fighting. Bit all the more i chase her.all the more she is leaving me. I felt so bad placing her in my life with my paat. She is just everything i ever wanted. Now she doesnt break it up. She keep saying im the one who leaving. Its been 2 month. I have done everything. But she blame me for this. And what she done is right. I am to blame for this.

I still have a parent and a brother and a sister. But lately. People keep saying im weak. People keep saying im just crazy. People keep saying im not the one they hire. My family complaint on my smiles that was not like before. I try to talk to my ma n dad. But it will just make me terrible bout myself. People just say leave her. Saying i am stringer than this.

Well. Im not. And the voice in my head is getting louder. Im just tired. Maybe they will all better off without me. Im so tired. I have tried 3 different way of dying. I failed in death as i failed in life as i failed everyone else. The workload in office doesnt help at all. I just dont have anyone to talk to. I cant shake my head of taking my life off and about her. Wishing one last text to arrive. But no. My overthinking head also doesnt help.. all i think now she is with another man and finding an excuse to gi. Im just so so tired..all my life.

All my life. I try to be the best child.the best student. The best worker. But all what life takes me is just to the opposite direction..

Possible trigger:

maybe this is all a sign for me just to take my own life tonight

[Skeezyks]

Hello Bobby: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. Welcome to Psych Central

I'm sorry you have been having such a difficult time & are feeling so down about yourself. (By the way, I was a victim of both verbal & physical abuse in high school as well.) It appears you submitted this post a couple of days ago now. I hope you're okay. You mentioned you've made 3 different attempts on your life in the past. I've had my own experiences with this too.

Here are links to 7 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

When You Feel Absolutely Awful About Yourself—Regularly

Breaking Free from the Bonds of Badness

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...hing-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/8-step...yourself-more/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to pc

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Bobby92

I just dont have anyone to talk to.

You can talk here, even if it's not as good as talking to people in your everyday life.

Originally Posted by Bobby92

My overthinking head also doesnt help.

When did you develop your overthinking head? Have you had it all your life?

You feel tired physically and psychologically. How well can you sleep? When you do sleep, is it refreshing sleep?

Welcome, Bobby92.