[srivastavaranjoo]

What is the best way to deal with depression and insecurities like job, career etc.

[Yaowen]

Dear Srivastavaranjoo,

I hope you get many responses to your post so that you will have a variety of ideas and perspectives to view.

In my case, depression and insecurities were helped the most by psychiatric medication and cognitive therapy. I realize that what helps one person might not be effective for someone else, and so I can only speak to what has helped me the most.

From cognitive therapy I have learned that people have two mood altering ways of viewing things. One way of looking at things is to look at them and think "could be better but isn't better. Anything can be looked at this way. One can look at oneself this way, at one's past, present and possible future. One can look at others this way too and situations and events and things in the world. But this is not the only way of looking at things.

The other way of looking at things that can affect mood is: "could be worse, but isn't worse. The very same things, situations and events can be looked at this way. This way of looking at things tends to bring on feelings of being lucky or blessed; feelings of appreciation, gratitude and joy. Depression and anxiety are thought by some to sometimes involve brain function. In the illnesses of depression and anxiety, the brain can seem unable to look at things from the perspective of "could be worse, but isn't worse." The brain gets "stuck" in the "could be better but isn't better" perspective and attitude through no fault of the person suffering depression and anxiety.

Looking at things, past, present and future from the point of view of "could be better, but isn't better" quite naturally produces feelings and moods of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, frustration, anger, guilt and sadness and it would be odd if looking at everything from this point of view did not produce such feelings and moods.

Abstractly speaking, it seems that a lot of people who are not suffering from depression and anxiety are able to shift from one point of view to the other. Both points of view have pros and cons. But people afflicted with depression and anxiety can't seem to make the transition from the "could be better, but isn't better" perspective to the "could be worse, but isn't worse" perspective.

The "could be better but isn't better" perspective is called "perfectionism" in many cultures.

Whether from genetics, environment, illness, life events or any and all of these, I grew up as a perfectionist with a "could be better but isn't better" point of view. It made me quite miserable as I looked back at my past, as I viewed my present and as I anticipated my future. Looking at things this way became a deep habit and second nature.

To feel better I posted signs around my rooms, work space and car that read: "COULD BE WORSE, BUT ISN"T WORSE, THANK GOODNESS." This, along with medication and cognitive therapy heled me with depression and insecurity.

Don't know if that would help you or others or if it would make things worse so I cannot give advice that anyone could or should rely upon. I can only share what has helped me personally.

I do hope you find things that will help you find peace and joy of living. My apologies if what I have written is not helpful to you. I wish you only the best!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Skeezyks]

Hello srivastavaranjoo: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. Since you have concerns regarding jobs & career the Work & Careers forum, here on PC, may be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/work-and-careers/

And then here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest:

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central

5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[Fuzzybear]