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Default Oct 25, 2020 at 11:57 AM
  #781
I had a good nights sleep last night. I still feel depressed, but feel hopeful today. I am glad im posting more in PC and will be posting way more here as I need support and support others too.
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Default Oct 25, 2020 at 02:43 PM
  #782
I feel pretty good today. I'm very productive.

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Default Oct 25, 2020 at 10:26 PM
  #783
Today was a typical Sunday. My sister called and we had a pretty good talk. Sometimes we have good talks and other times, not so. Went on a three hour bike ride. It was brisk and cloudy which was nice. It rained a little bit at some spots but not bad.

I am off from work this week. It's a nice feeling to have a few days to not come in to work and deal with some drama. I have an appointment for personal business tomorrow morning. On Tuesday I plan to go to some museums that have free admission. Maybe a hike on Wednesday.

My back feels much better now, but now I'm dealing what feels like a pinched nerve on my shoulder. The pain from there seems to radiate down to the arm. I've had it before. I don't know what I did to cause it. Part of getting older, I guess.
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Default Oct 26, 2020 at 02:08 AM
  #784
I'm having a good day.

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Default Oct 26, 2020 at 09:23 AM
  #785
I am doing nothing, and I am defenetly going back to my way of thinking- how my life just isn't worth it anymore.

while people can see ways out, I can't. I watched a quiz show today. woo ****ing hoo, and it wasn't like it was worth it the contestants lost all their money and left empty handed
 
 
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Default Oct 26, 2020 at 10:53 AM
  #786
This is the first day of my week off. It feels pretty good so far. I have a personal appointment at 11 that I'm looking forward to. I wish it was an hour earlier. There's a store that I want to go to right now but it's not open until 10, so that wouldn't leave me much time from going to that store and then to my appointment. So I'll have to do it after lunch.

It was very sunny early this morning but clouded up now. It appears like it's going to rain and it's cool outside. That's alright with me. I've had time off before when it was very hot outside and I didn't like it. So I'll see how this day goes.
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Default Oct 26, 2020 at 06:48 PM
  #787
Doing all right.
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Default Oct 27, 2020 at 12:32 AM
  #788
I came downstairs at 4 yesterday after having lying down in her bed since noon and my mom was all like “what’s going on? You look super tired and your hair is a mess.” Yeah that’s what severe depression and a benzo addiction will do to you.

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Default Oct 27, 2020 at 03:21 AM
  #789
I feel calm. I've been reading and relaxing this morning.

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Default Oct 27, 2020 at 07:42 AM
  #790
Moving day tomorrow... learned that a lot more can accumulate in 20 years than you ever thought possible, even in a tiny place. Originally I didn't even consider hiring movers, now I'm more than thankful I did, but it could still be overwhelming.
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Default Oct 27, 2020 at 11:27 AM
  #791
emotionally, I have not had a very good day- mainly because I spent most of it, sat on my bed, watching tv doing absolutely nothing (that, and eating roast chicken potato chips) so another day gone, another day wasted.

physically, my day's been okay. my body's been actually been behaving (I have pain in my back and legs) but this is mormal for me anyway
 
 
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Default Oct 27, 2020 at 02:00 PM
  #792
Today, so far, was a little bit of a disappointment. There was a place I wanted to go to for a real nice walk but didn't do it because all of the parking spaces were taken. Also there were other cars lined up waiting to get a single space. So I went somewhere else for a walk but it wasn't as nice as the place I wanted to go to.

I got the whole afternoon free now. I have a couple of phone calls to make. Not looking forward to them. Nothing planned for the rest of the week. There are some things I'd like to go to that are closed.
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Default Oct 28, 2020 at 05:23 AM
  #793
I feel tired.

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Default Oct 28, 2020 at 04:18 PM
  #794
today has been okay. I gave my dog a bath and am about to take a shower. I feel kind of blah today. I washed some clothes and I'm watching some tv right now. Nothing much to report for my therapist appointment later. I don't know that I will have anything to talk about.

Last edited by tigerlily84; Oct 28, 2020 at 04:36 PM..
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Default Oct 28, 2020 at 04:51 PM
  #795
The week off is halfway over now. Usually the last half of a week off goes by real fast and then it will be back to work on Monday morning before I even know it.

When I got up this morning, I had nothing planned. I didn't know what to do. With stay-at-home vacations, I have done everything that I would want to do or see. So it gets old pretty fast. Well, I ended just taking a walk by the waterside. It's nothing new and it's not that far from where I live. It was a nice day for it though.

Nothing planned for tomorrow. I have something planned for Friday morning. Still it's nice to have a little time to not have to get up to go to work; and nice to spend time with myself.
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Default Oct 28, 2020 at 08:31 PM
  #796
Saw my doc, in short, care giving is my main point of depression. I love my Dad, but his depression and suffering is hard to bear, I have a tendency to chronic depression so trying to lighten things up is hard. He really thinks he's nearing the end, so me being the sole person near him, I try to encourage him to move around a bit more. I only went to the dentist today, and after telling him about 4 times he still called me while I was away. He has lifeline set up, but he's not happy without company even for short periods. My own doc suggested getting someone else in the home to care give, but I cant even get Dad in the car or to town or to his own doctor. I miss working, and I also need the money now that I have more expenses.
 
 
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Default Oct 29, 2020 at 01:45 AM
  #797
I feel fine today.

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Default Oct 29, 2020 at 11:55 AM
  #798
depressed

I have accomplished nothing in the whole day (blah blah blah) and I'm not even going to eat well tonight- I'm having a plate of turkey breaded dinosaurs

which is exactly a healthy meal a 24 year old woman puts on her menu

not childlike at all

well, I guess I enjoy them, so their is that
 
 
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Default Oct 29, 2020 at 02:28 PM
  #799
My depression has been rough. I was told today people should have prepared me better for the post op depression.

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Default Oct 29, 2020 at 04:36 PM
  #800
During this week in having time off from work, I managed to find some places to go and do something. This morning I went to an area I have never been to explore a trail. When I got there I couldn't find any trail, so that was a disappointment. Even the people I asked didn't know where there were any trails.

I came back home and then decided to do grocery shopping for next week before lunch. Tomorrow is the last "real" day of the vacation. I know that I have the weekend off, but this Saturday I plan to clean like I always do. At least there's one less thing to do this Saturday now that the shopping is over with.

Been feeling OK at times and other times felt alone & depressed. Funny thing is that, last night and this morning, I have been getting messages about dealing with aging and major illnesses alone. I got it last night on a discussion board about a book that covers it; and one this morning when I did my daily reading. I worry that someday, maybe pretty soon, I will have to be in that possition.
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