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Location: NY
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#1
I am not usually the kind of person to ask for advice from strangers on the internet but right now I see no other way to find help without invading the privacy of the person who this is about.
My husband and I have been friends with this person for several years. He used to be my husband's friend and colleague with the lines blurring after a while and occasional dinner invites turning into us seeing him as part of our family. For the sake of this post I will refer to him as Leo and to my husband as David. Leo is very easygoing, always in a good mood, very charismatic and sometimes annoyingly so. There have been times where I got the impression that his smile wasn't genuine or that he wasn't as happy as he appeared to be. But those times there were obvious things going on in his life that explained why he would be feeling down. I never saw any signs of mental illness in him - and neither did David. Until last night when Leo called David, obviously very drunk and David went to check on him. David then called me to let me know that he'd
Possible trigger:
Depression isn't always obvious and many people hide it well, I know that. And yet, despite that knowledge, Leo is the last person I would have expected to do something like this. We thought we knew him and then he goes and does something like this. He knows he can always call us, he knows we are always there for him and we will do anything to help him. What is so bad that he thought he couldn't tell us and puts his own life in danger like this instead? How is it possible that we never noticed that he was feeling this bad? I try to understand but nothing makes any sense. Last edited by bluekoi; Jun 01, 2020 at 11:50 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon. Apply trigger code. |
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#2
Hello emmajune: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.
As a person who has done (on 2 different occasions) what your friend did, & without going into a long dissertation on the subject, I think all I can say is we never really know what's going on in another person's mind. You wrote: "What is so bad that he thought he couldn't tell us and puts his own life in danger like this instead?" Of course I have no idea what the answer is to this. Only your friend knows for sure. (It could be he doesn't really even know himself.) But what I can say is that, in my own case, it has always been true that if I was rational enough to call someone then the likelihood was I wasn't really in danger. But if I was really in danger the last thing I would be likely to do was to call someone. That's simply the reality of my circumstances. Perhaps your friend's situation is similar? Being on antidepressants is one thing. And sometimes it's an important thing. But talking things through at-length & in-depth with a mental health therapist or psychologist can be equally important. So I hope your friend receives the help he needs & that you find having come here to PC to be of benefit. My best wishes to you all. P.S. Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, that discusses some of the reasons behind suicide attempts plus a link to an article that reviews common signs someone may be suicidal: Suicide: When It Hurts Too Much To Live Common Signs of Someone Who May Be Suicidal __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#3
Prayers for all of you, and, of course, the patient.
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#4
Love and prayers...
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#5
Do you think there is substance abuse going on? Many times people underestimate substances and want a buzz and overdose.
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