So depressed, anxious. Just need to let it out and this is a safe place.

Well, I saw I last posted on here on 3.9.20. That was before all this started. I haven't seen my grandchildren since 3.15.20. We've zoomed twice. I am a nurse so considered essential. I am in QA and we've been assigned screening duties along with EH and IC. Since 3/25/20 that's been my partial job while I keep up with my regular job.

I am so sad and depressed about the whole thing. Yet, when I least expect it that cold, anxious feeling comes in my chest letting me know panic is coming. Twice in the last month I've woken up in the middle of a panic attack. THAT hasn't happened since my first panic attack in 2007.

I don't know what to do. I listen to meditation right before sleep every night. I pray. I try to have quiet time, but my husband is retired so when I'm at home, he and the dog are there. Can't go very much out in public. We used to go out and eat at least twice weekly. Not since March.

I just had vacation last week and yesterday was so sad and everything about coming back to work today.

I take Lexapro 20 daily, 1 mg. Ativan generic twice daily. I'm also 59 and post menopausal. My hormones are $100.00/month so I'm trying to stretch them out by using some Amazon stuff. My sadness and all started before this so I can't blame the bio-identical cream I supplement with. It actually is having some good benefits. I did my research.

My doctor of 32 years retired in December and his nephew my new doctor seems okay but hurried.

I just had to talk to someone. If no one reads this, that's okay. I put it down on Paper, so to speak, so maybe it'll help.

If you do read it and have any suggestions, I am open to anything. I know I need to go talk to my doc. He has no clue this is happening. The last thing I saw him for was a Grade 3 sprained ankle the first of June. Kinda hard to make the transition from Yeah, I fell to I feel like crying all the time.

Thanks for your time. I know we're all in the same boat. Just hoping it doesn't go over the falls.