[ProfessionalLoser]

I don't know to type this down, but I'll try my best to describe how I feel about a certain problem. I've been dealing with depression for 10 years and I struggle with self esteem and constant reminder of the past. I've spent a lot of time loathing myself because I feel like that I'm not good enough. Up to around 6th grade in school I started to develop depression. I was bullied a lot in school and I've always struggled getting up from bed in the morning ever since I could walk, a quirk that seems like something I'm born with, a definite night owl I suppose.

I didn't do well in school, I never did my homework and I hated school. I've been to 5 schools and I had a bad time with all of them, but especially with 2 of them. After when I was done with school and what I would call a useless score, I feel like my depression getting worse and to the point that it affects me a lot. at the time, I developed suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm, It feels like I've failed life and that I have no talents or opportunities to do anything special. I see no accomplishments in my own life, and time didn't seeen to get better after this part of life either.

The thought of wasted years bothers me a lot and I wish I knew how to get over my mistake, but I have a hard time to do so. I tend to compre myself to other people, like classmates, family members, online personalities, people I look up to and so on. This destroys my motivation to do anything. I have a lot of interests that I would like to work on, but I don't have anything to kick myself to start doing it. Stuff like drawing, painting, music, videos, even game development. I resent myself for wasting my own time and doing nothing.

I'm sure there's more stuff that I could mention, sucks when your slow minded. I would like to hear you people's opinion of this.

[3rd rock]

I've wasted my whole life.

[ProfessionalLoser]

I'm sorry to hear that, rock. I wish you the best. Also sorry for my typo at the end of my post.

[Deilla]

If you can, try not to think of it as a waste. Everything has a time and place. I'm sure you did the best you could with what you had. Today is a new day. Perhaps you can start to pursue some of your interests. It would be fun. The past is the past. Try to live in the present moment, which is the only time we ever really have. And dream of a wonderful future. Best of luck to you!

[ProfessionalLoser]

Thank you, Deilla, for the reply. It means a lot.

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs, I do not always give my opinions. I doubt if you've wasted your life though. Living in the present moment is good advice. I try to do this (not always possible). I hope being here on pc is helpful to you