[Blue921]

Anxiety level very bad this morning. I have a ball o lead in my stomach, heat beating fast and clammy. It’s been rough all weekend but I go back to work today and it’s ten times worse. My hands are shaking as I type. I can’t quit. I only have seven years until I can retire(state retirement). Seven more years....,,,, I don’t know if I can make it. This is almost unbearable. I want to curl up in ball and cry hysterically...., seven more years.........

I'm sorry you're going through this. Is there any affordable counselor for you? We aren't supposed to link stuff here but even tho he isn't perfect, in times of my extreme depression my doctor recommended a book by Eckhart Tolle called the power of now. Some people love listening to him some people don't. You can find him on youtube. The end of suffering might be something to type in on youtube along with his name.
Fighting anxiety in my experience hasn't helped but allowing and learning coping skills like deep breathing and progressive relaxation might help. Best to you and keep posting here for help!!

[Blue921]

Thank you. I do deep breathing and it helps some but this morning was tough. It has receded since I’ve gotten to work and the buspar finally kicked in.

Please post as much as you want. The board can be slow at times so keep checking back..It can be a great community for support here. Glad you have a med to help