Depression Vent Room for Misfits

Breaking Dawn · Apr 16, 2021 at 01:53 AM

I've been going through a weird time recently. Some of you know I have voices. It's difficult, but I'm still me. At this very moment I'm feeling depressed, hopeless, & apprehensive. Maybe I need psychotherapy & medicine? Just sometimes like now? I posted the beginning of this thread because I have always been a misfit. I'm strange & weird. My internal world is/was filled with so much wondering about so many things. I care deeply about these things. I think some of you feel like I do, except you have your own view of life, based on your personal history. Thank God for DocJohn & his wonderful volunteers!! God bless us all!

Deilla · Apr 16, 2021 at 08:42 AM

I'm having a difficult time. My depression is really getting to me. I am neglecting my chores, myself and my home. All I want to do is sleep. I want to feel numb and sleep accomplishes that goal.

Deilla · Apr 17, 2021 at 04:43 AM

I'm really bummed out today. I have a lot of housework to do. I've been neglecting it all week. Now it's bothering me and I don't have the motivation for it.

Breaking Dawn · Apr 25, 2021 at 04:25 PM

Depressed & anxious/apprehensive. No energy, mostly due to very little sleep.

Deilla · Apr 26, 2021 at 04:00 AM

I'm very depressed today. I have an appointment. I don't want to go but I will. I will numb myself out mentally to deal with it.

Breaking Dawn · Apr 26, 2021 at 08:11 AM

I'm doing ok at this moment. Good luck & best wishes to everybody!

Skeezyks · Apr 26, 2021 at 11:26 AM

Breaking Dawn and Deilla... I'm sorry to read you've been having such difficult times recently.

I'm not here on MSF a lot anymore. (Occasionally I stop by to reply to threads in the Games forum.) I find myself strangely alienated from a place I used to consider my on-line home.

I seem to lack the energy, as well as the motivation, to participate in any meaningful way. I'd move on to another site. But it wouldn't be different. I guess there's a time for everything. And my time to be an active on-line forum member perhaps now has passed?

I don't know. None-the-less, I'll still be around. Best wishes to all misfits...

Breaking Dawn · Apr 26, 2021 at 11:59 AM

Dear @Skeezyks, I feel sad about you feeling the way you do now.

I know things are not like they were. I was hoping you could create your own archive type of system so you could keep that hat you wore before. If you really can't, then I guess all we can do is wish something else comes along that will fill the void for you. You so much deserve that. Bless your heart. And give your sweet doggy a hug for me, ok?

Hug, hug, hug!!

TunedOut · Apr 27, 2021 at 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I seem to lack the energy, as well as the motivation, to participate in any meaningful way. I'd move on to another site. But it wouldn't be different. I guess there's a time for everything. And my time to be an active on-line forum member perhaps now has passed?

I don't know. None-the-less, I'll still be around. Best wishes to all misfits...

Maybe inspiration could strike months and months from now.

Glad you are still a member at PC.

When I was new to PC in 2016 (my old username was Mysterious plus a number I can't remember

)--you were the first one who welcomed me here and you also gave me a lot of good advice via links. So I will always appreciate that and love when you check in occasionally.

I don't post or message much lately either. I can only post effectively when the mood strikes me. Please don't pressure yourself in anyway. Love you whether you post or not.

You are a very kind person from my POV!

TishaBuv · Apr 27, 2021 at 07:17 AM

I am not entitled to feel as depressed as I am. The sun is shining. I have so much. I am so unhappy due to the marriage I can’t get to feel good and fulfilling to me no matter how I ask for it for decades until I am blue in the face. I can’t stand how my son simply emotionally abandoned me the moment he left for college (I now realize it started then). I am so sad how horribly the relationship with my mother is ending and her life is ending, and knowing that she was grooming me to provide for her financially and emotionally and I am not going to do that because she is a vampire. I hate how I thought I had a great sister for over 50 years, but she turned on a dime and discarded me. I hate these uneasy feelings. I used to dream that one day I would get away from these people, going somewhere on my own, and make my own life and be happy. But now I feel I am just too anxious and depressed and I will never make myself happy because I guess I am just a severely depressed person with MDD, or whatever (unspecified mood disorder, official diagnosis)

captaineo · Apr 27, 2021 at 10:37 AM

Dear Friends, though you are all away , I don’t know your face and names I share my most intimate feelings and thoughts. And as always the depressive / burned out case that I am, always writes same stuff, my pdoc says is comfortable to be in the darkness, and scary to go out into the world and light again thinking you are entitled to life. But every time I go out and fight in the world there is never easy and I can last a few rounds not as much as Rocky could. Damn hard! I wonder my tan looking skin used to get me so many dates in the past, now I am object to racism at its most riped state living in lala Japan land. I m so glad that Ghons got away the way he did. I’m still here because my kids are here and my J ex wife does not allow me to see them, though I am hoping that I see them soon.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Breaking Dawn · Apr 27, 2021 at 12:58 PM

Dear @captaineo, I'm crying after reading your post.

I wish that things get better for you. Please stay with us & we all can help each other, ok? Take good care!

captaineo · Apr 28, 2021 at 09:13 AM

Thank you my friend, I am keeping my chin up, still fighting a good fight trying to do my best. But some days are just tough. I am fighting my battles internal and external like all of you. Blessings and I am sticking around. Thank you so much for your kind message

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Deilla · Apr 30, 2021 at 03:13 PM

I received some awful news about a family member and stage 4 cancer. I'm very upset. I may try to go to bed early.

Deilla · May 02, 2021 at 05:37 PM

I produced a pretty cool EDM song and recently worked with a female vocalist on adding lyrics. We just finished the song and had it professionally mastered. Up to industry standards. I shared it with my mom. All she did was criticize it. She must not like EDM songs or understand them. I'm trying not to let it bother me. She didn't have to criticize. She didn't even say, "Good job." or anything positive. I was in a good mood until that happened. I just can't share anything with my family. I would never do that to my daughter.

Breaking Dawn · May 03, 2021 at 04:30 AM

Dear @Deilla, my guess is that your mother is jealous of your talents, which translates into resentment of you, & hurtful responses to you. Of course that's going to hurt you a lot. If you tried to tell her how much this hurts you, she would probably say she does'nt know what you're talking about & blame you for everything. Maybe she is broken, maybe from something you don't even know about? Anyway, please don't let her steal your joy away from you when you are expressing your beautiful & talented self.

Deilla · May 03, 2021 at 12:25 PM

@Breaking Dawn, thank you for your kind words. I'm feeling better about it. My therapist likes my song and already I have 11 views on YouTube. Some of my songs don't get that much after being up for months. So I feel good about this.

captaineo · May 03, 2021 at 12:28 PM

Dear Deilla, you must never let anyone criticizing not even your mother dictate what you think or feel about your song. I have my own trauma for very different reason. But I am dead certain about this, never let what other people think including family get in the middle of what you want. If they do make a workaround, jump over it , but go thru.

I am 46 now and when I wanted to play piano and learn my aunt will tell me at the age of 11 that I was too late to learn and that I should give up on that dream. That impacted me, there are toxic people in family and strangers and good people also otherwise. But is ultimately you have the freedom to choose what you do and think about your work.

Many hugs , and love from me. You are all my friends and family fighting this depression sickness keep well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Breaking Dawn · May 03, 2021 at 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

@Breaking Dawn, thank you for your kind words. I'm feeling better about it. My therapist likes my song and already I have 11 views on YouTube. Some of my songs don't get that much after being up for months. So I feel good about this.

I'm so glad for you!!

I wish I could give you a hug for real!

Breaking Dawn · May 03, 2021 at 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captaineo

Dear Deilla, you must never let anyone criticizing not even your mother dictate what you think or feel about your song. I have my own trauma for very different reason. But I am dead certain about this, never let what other people think including family get in the middle of what you want. If they do make a workaround, jump over it , but go thru.

I am 46 now and when I wanted to play piano and learn my aunt will tell me at the age of 11 that I was too late to learn and that I should give up on that dream. That impacted me, there are toxic people in family and strangers and good people also otherwise. But is ultimately you have the freedom to choose what you do and think about your work.

Many hugs , and love from me. You are all my friends and family fighting this depression sickness keep well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Thank you, dear friend, for speaking this way! You are helping all of us. I'm in tears with thankful emotion.

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Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Apr 16, 2021 at 08:42 AM #322 I'm having a difficult time. My depression is really getting to me. I am neglecting my chores, myself and my home. All I want to do is sleep. I want to feel numb and sleep accomplishes that goal. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Apr 17, 2021 at 04:43 AM #323 I'm really bummed out today. I have a lot of housework to do. I've been neglecting it all week. Now it's bothering me and I don't have the motivation for it. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Apr 25, 2021 at 04:25 PM #324 Depressed & anxious/apprehensive. No energy, mostly due to very little sleep. __________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * *

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Apr 26, 2021 at 04:00 AM #325 I'm very depressed today. I have an appointment. I don't want to go but I will. I will numb myself out mentally to deal with it. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Apr 26, 2021 at 08:11 AM #326 I'm doing ok at this moment. Good luck & best wishes to everybody! __________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * *

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Apr 27, 2021 at 12:58 PM #332 Dear @captaineo, I'm crying after reading your post. I wish that things get better for you. Please stay with us & we all can help each other, ok? Take good care! __________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * *

captaineo Member Member Since Jul 2016 Location: Tokyo Posts: 416 7	Apr 28, 2021 at 09:13 AM #333 Thank you my friend, I am keeping my chin up, still fighting a good fight trying to do my best. But some days are just tough. I am fighting my battles internal and external like all of you. Blessings and I am sticking around. Thank you so much for your kind message Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Apr 30, 2021 at 03:13 PM #334 I received some awful news about a family member and stage 4 cancer. I'm very upset. I may try to go to bed early. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	May 03, 2021 at 12:25 PM #337 @Breaking Dawn, thank you for your kind words. I'm feeling better about it. My therapist likes my song and already I have 11 views on YouTube. Some of my songs don't get that much after being up for months. So I feel good about this. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’