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Old 09-23-2021, 04:31 PM   #481
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Default Re: Depression Vent Room for Misfits

I said some innocent remark to this one brother of mine that he should take only part time jobs and he took it as an insult. I apologized and all but it didn't do any good. He wouldn't accept my apology when I do accept his all the time. My first thought was screw you if you can't accept it. I felt like saying the f word to him. That's how frustrated I have become with him. So now i'm feeling like it's no use and I don't feel like giving a ****. I'm still brooding over this. I don't know why. I just am. For some reason, it just came up out of the blue, even though I was so happy for him getting this job. I was so happy that he got one he wanted. I do regret what I said. Here he was being so nice to me earlier and I was so happy for him. Maybe there's something deep down inside that wasn't expressed or something like that. I just hope I can stop thinking about it now. I'm trying every way I can to do that. I try every way to forget when I feel I need to because I feel if I happen to say something wrong, nobody would be on my side. laughs. I do mean it. I'm not kidding when I say that.
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Old 09-23-2021, 06:23 PM   #482
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Default Re: Depression Vent Room for Misfits

Quitting vaping is hard. I tried to go to bed early but woke up an hour later. I was so stressed I wanted to vape. All I could do was sit while holding my head. Exercise is recommended, but I can't do that because of my back. I try to sleep as much as possible. I feel sad that I'm having such a difficult time today.
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Old 09-23-2021, 07:14 PM   #483
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Quote:
Originally Posted by modestlychee6463 View Post
I said some innocent remark to this one brother of mine that he should take only part time jobs and he took it as an insult. I apologized and all but it didn't do any good. He wouldn't accept my apology when I do accept his all the time. My first thought was screw you if you can't accept it. I felt like saying the f word to him. That's how frustrated I have become with him. So now i'm feeling like it's no use and I don't feel like giving a ****. I'm still brooding over this. I don't know why. I just am. For some reason, it just came up out of the blue, even though I was so happy for him getting this job. I was so happy that he got one he wanted. I do regret what I said. Here he was being so nice to me earlier and I was so happy for him. Maybe there's something deep down inside that wasn't expressed or something like that. I just hope I can stop thinking about it now. I'm trying every way I can to do that. I try every way to forget when I feel I need to because I feel if I happen to say something wrong, nobody would be on my side. laughs. I do mean it. I'm not kidding when I say that.
I'm sorry, modestlychee, that things are like this with your brother! I'm glad you could vent here. That's what this place is for. Instead of letting the hurt eat away at us, I think it helps to let it out where we feel safe to do so.
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Old 09-23-2021, 07:22 PM   #484
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Quitting vaping is hard. I tried to go to bed early but woke up an hour later. I was so stressed I wanted to vape. All I could do was sit while holding my head. Exercise is recommended, but I can't do that because of my back. I try to sleep as much as possible. I feel sad that I'm having such a difficult time today.
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Old 09-23-2021, 09:12 PM   #485
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Thanks, Breaking Dawn, for your support for it seems it will be the story of my life that I will be taking a lot of crap but hardly get anything good in return. laughs. That's how God played it for me. I kind of hate myself right now. It's like I'm part of the unhappiness of life if you get me. Part of me wants to set myself apart from all the drama and I just don't feel like being much of a part of my siblings lives because what is the use of depending on them for interaction. I don't want to do that anymore because nothing ever goes right. sorry to say. I'd love to get this real twirling baton to make me feel 'richer' and more apart from this stupid ordinary live for nothing life. I'm just expressing my views.
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Old 09-24-2021, 04:09 AM   #486
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Feeling sad, lonely, panicky and hopeless. Anxious about the future.

God please please make the usa government respond to my plea soon, im living in hell here. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. I have no friend here, my parents and other relatives don't like me and my ex indian american boyfriend and his people are driving me crazy, threatening to torture and kill me. He is an anti-social. He used to work for the us government but now is in India and probably plans to settle down here. He and his people have a lot of influence here and so I can't complain against them to the police. If I do, they may lock me up instead.

I can't work bc of my MI, so I live with my parents. My dad is a predator and once he and mom beat me up together and dad molested me in front of mom. So I do not like to live with them in their house but I have got no option.

God please please make the usa government listen to my plea and give me refuge. I have lived in philadelphia, PA before and I was so happy there. Usa is close to my heart. Under the circumstances I can't go on here in India any more. I wish I could die.

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Old 09-24-2021, 06:54 AM   #487
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i'm sorry I am not a very positive person
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Old 09-24-2021, 06:31 PM   #488
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Default Re: Depression Vent Room for Misfits

I'm feeling sad and lonely. I've had a busy day and I get to relax now. The only thing I want to do is go to bed. I just had a nap. I have no one to talk to. I'm all alone. I wish I could talk to my mom, but she is probably busy.
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Old 09-24-2021, 07:25 PM   #489
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Originally Posted by Deilla View Post
I'm feeling sad and lonely. I've had a busy day and I get to relax now. The only thing I want to do is go to bed. I just had a nap. I have no one to talk to. I'm all alone. I wish I could talk to my mom, but she is probably busy.
I hope things get better for you soon, dear friend. Maybe tomorrow will be better?
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Old Yesterday, 03:01 AM   #490
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Default Re: Depression Vent Room for Misfits

Went to bed around 3am. Woke up at 5:30am with a panic attack and feeling sad and lonely. It is 1:30pm now and the panic attack is still there and so is the sadness. Im telling myself that something good is going to happen by dec 31 2021. So it's just another 98 days.....God please give me the strength to fight this pain and suffering and hang in there for these next 98 days.
Amen!
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Old Yesterday, 11:28 PM   #491
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Default Re: Depression Vent Room for Misfits

I've had some better moments recently.
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Old Today, 06:48 PM   #492
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I'm feeling really sad and disappointed. I have to remember that when one door closes, another will open.
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Old Today, 08:53 PM   #493
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I'm feeling really sad and disappointed. I have to remember that when one door closes, another will open.
I hope you feel better soon, Deilla. Also thank you for reminding me about the doors.
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