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#541
I hate this never-ending pandemic! But I hate religion even more! And more than that, I hate uncertainties and inequities. And even beyond all that, I hate the fact that we have to die, that suffering takes place, that trauma is even a thing, and that we can't just all be loved and loving and live forever? I wish we could all just live forever and love one another and never have to worry about anything bad.
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear, MimiBhaduri0, zapatoes
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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#542
I HATE it too
and i also don't like talking about it so i am fer sure a MISFIT __________________ |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, MimiBhaduri0, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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SprinkL3
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#543
eta i personally do not hate religion per se, but i do not like some of the PEOPLE in it
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, MimiBhaduri0, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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SprinkL3
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,326
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#544
WHY WHY WHY cannot we all be LOVED AND LOVING?
I agree __________________ |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, MimiBhaduri0, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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SprinkL3
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,326
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#545
I'm here without my freaking shirt on
so i am getting colder and colder i do have a t shirt on.. so ALL IS WELL __________________ |
Breaking Dawn, MimiBhaduri0, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,326
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#546
listening to
''a new set of lies'' what is the title? not sure sorry about all the posts, I've been quiet for a long time........... __________________ |
Breaking Dawn, MimiBhaduri0, Rohag, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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SprinkL3
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#547
I like your posts, Fuzzybear!
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Fuzzybear
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#548
I didn't mean that I hated religion or all religion, though I was in a very dark place at the time I posted above. What I meant was that I hated being hurt by some religious people, so it made me distrust in religion altogether. I do like spirituality - the safe kind, and I welcome prayer - the safe kind, and I love the love that comes with safe spirituality.
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Fuzzybear, zapatoes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
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#549
I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. I think it will be okay though. I will do a mindfulness meditation. I will try to be present and focus on the words. I had some trauma today so that is why I am worried. I'm afraid I won't be able to settle down. But I'll do my best.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, MimiBhaduri0, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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Member
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: NY
Posts: 236
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#550
Does anyone else find themselves sometimes, crying over the life they never were able to live? All the big dreams were smashed because of disability and illness. You never got to do all the things you wanted to do. And sometimes you sit there thinking about it. You see posts to "Dream big!" But you have limitations because of your body and mental illnesses. And you're like...I think dreaming big is for other people, and I wish them happiness.
I just wish that could be me too. I'm happy to be alive, I'm thankful for all that I have. I am lucky to have survived the things I did. But sometimes everything I lost and wasn't able to do still hurts inside of me. And I am not certain that grief will ever heal. I don't know how much I can do in this life. I try things but they always fall apart. I am told I am a capable person but I don't see it. People always say everyone has their time. I've been waiting for decades. When is my time? My time on earth is limited too. I don't know whether to keep trying or just give up and accept my life and who I am is what it is. And no matter how hard I try, or work on myself, or improve, this never changes. I don't know why. Why am I like this and why does it have to be this way? Why? Why can't I just have a normal life? |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear, MimiBhaduri0, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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SprinkL3
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#551
Quote:
I'm sorry you are struggling with this, too. I've asked many of the same questions you do. Unfortunately, I still have no answers. All we can do is comfort one another until there are answers. And relate to one another's pain. ((((safe hugs )))) |
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear, MimiBhaduri0, zapatoes
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,526
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#552
My family and their toxic friends are a trigger for my depression. I been feeling really depressed because of how bad I been feeling because of how down I been feeling because of how hurt I been feeling because of the rude comments that were made.
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#553
I feel bad. I feel like a bad cat mom, a bad friend, a bad sister and a bad daughter. Just overall like a bad person.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, SprinkL3, zapatoes
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
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#554
Is guilt part of depression, maybe it is, but why. Sometimes feel guilty, was I the best I could be, did I do everything I could, am I bad daughter, bad friend, good coworker. It is interesting to learn that depression can include psychosis symptoms.
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear, SprinkL3
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Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, SprinkL3
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
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#555
Oh, Deilla, thats so sad. It's not true! You try so hard, & life is just really hard sometimes. I hope things lighten up for you soon. You're a good person! I'm wishing you a new energy that will let you feel your self worth & strengthen you. Hugs & love to you!
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
Deilla, Fuzzybear, SprinkL3
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Deilla, SprinkL3
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#556
Deilla - you're not a bad person. You're a good person who has been hurt.
I'm so sorry you are struggling with all these feelings. |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla
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#557
Quote:
But the truth is, we're people who were hurt and are now struggling with the effects of that hurt. All of those internalized messages - whether they be from our abusive and/or neglectful parents in childhood or from societal messages that somehow exacerbate our conditions - those still hurt. |
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Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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#558
My T helped me and some of my parts yesterday in session (online). She helped us realize that we are not bad, but that bad things happened to us. There were alters who were "groomed" to do icky things when they were in their early teens, so my T helped them feel not as guilty. She also understood that other parts inside had experienced different kinds of trauma as well. She understands why we're depressed. She helps us to slowly find our way to enjoying life - one itty bitty piece at a time.
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#559
I'm all alone tonight. It's late and I'm sad. I always get sad around this time. My therapist hasn't responded to me. And when she does respond, she never addresses my issues. I don't know what I will do. I'm all alone. I've called my mom twice today. She doesn't understand that I need support. Maybe I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid I'll be let down. I have my cats. I guess it's time to go to bed and cuddle with them. That helps. It makes me feel less lonely.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 519
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#560
It's 2am here in the UK. I went to bed early because I'd had enough of the day and just wanted to sleep. Now I'm wide awake, stressing about the days ahead and wishing I could go to sleep and never wake up.
I've spoken to T online this week, but it's not enough. I can't phone anyone at night 'cos it's not private. My H doesn't understand how bad things are. I tried to tell him a while back that I was having really dark thoughts. His response: 'if that's how you feel, just do it.' Why would you say that to someone you supposedly love? Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk __________________ To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world. |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Fuzzybear, SprinkL3
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Breaking Dawn
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