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Default Nov 08, 2020 at 01:47 PM
  #41
I don't fit anywhere, in real life and in the cyber world. It all ends the same. Few interactions and comments, and then I am being ignored.
 
 
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Default Nov 08, 2020 at 08:34 PM
  #42
I am drowning in sadness
I lost my soul in this toxic relationship that I can't get out of.
I lost someone very special to me that really understood my pain

It has been the worst year for me. I'm tired and I want to get off this rideDepression Vent Room for Misfits

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Default Nov 09, 2020 at 04:41 PM
  #43
Vacuumed our townhome unit today. Then took the dog out for a walk in the cold windy rain. Now I'm pooped!
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Default Nov 09, 2020 at 06:22 PM
  #44
I am basically inching my way through time & space, waiting for whatever. It feels like something is pushing in on me, compressing me. I think it might be something like a combination of dissociation & anxiety/fear/dread.
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Default Nov 11, 2020 at 04:03 PM
  #45
Depression Vent Room for Misfits

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Unhappy Nov 11, 2020 at 04:52 PM
  #46
To be dealing, at my age, with the same insanity I've dealt with all my life is highly embarrassing.
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Heart Nov 11, 2020 at 06:56 PM
  #47
I am doing much better now. I hope you all are doing ok.
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Default Nov 11, 2020 at 08:03 PM
  #48
I'm definately a misfit. Haven't left my apartment in over a year. Have only spoken with my long time girlfriend who I live with during that year. Have been severely depressed for 3 1/2 years this time. Have had other depression episodes in the past. Before 2017, 2008 was the prev. extended episode. Ended up in the hospital in 2017. When I left I wasn't feeling any better but didn't want to tell them how severe my depression was because I didn't want to stay any longer. Nothing anyone can do or could have done. I was there about 2 weeks, mental ward. I only had to pay $2,100 out of a $164,000. bill. (medicare) 3 meals a day, talked to a psychiatrist for 5 mins a day. There were groups each day, rarely attended any. I would just eat & go back to bed & listen for my name to talk to the psych. Got my vitals checked 3 times a day. My son called me on my birthday & father's day this year. Hadn't heard from him in over 2 years. He was prob. Too embarrassed.Too embarrassed to call him back. He may have beaten his drug addiction. He ended up in jai for 6 mos after living in his mom's garage. Not strong enough to call my son & say how proud of him if he has beaten his addiction. Afraid I'll tell him how pathetic I've become. I don't take any meds, or drink, etc. Long time recovering Catholic. Extreme guilt. Sorry so long. Not sre why my girlfriend still wants me here. Wish I could leave her the money I have. Pray ea. night to pass naturally, know you're not supposed to be that way, gutless.. Hope I haven't made anyone feel worse. I admire all of you helping others. . I don't help anyone. Been too embarrassed to even tell all of you of my pathetic life here. Thanks
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Default Nov 11, 2020 at 08:07 PM
  #49
I'm in the same boat ⛵ I have good times and bad times. Right now I am doing good

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Default Nov 11, 2020 at 08:20 PM
  #50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
To be dealing, at my age, with the same insanity I've dealt with all my life is highly embarrassing.
Even thru your embarrassment you're always helping people here. One of the most admirable qualities a person can have.
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Default Nov 11, 2020 at 10:12 PM
  #51
Hi. I too would love a misfit category. Been diagnosed with bi-polar & Anxiety for years, meds don’t seem to help nor does therapy. This makes me very angry because I can’t find a way to fix myself. Exercise used to work but effect doesn’t last that long anymore & no I haven’t stoped trying. It feels like I’m bashing my head against the wall. I hate asking for help & not knowing how to fix my own problems. Sorry for the rant. I wish there was a place where I could vent some of the anger at myself for feeling like S#%t!
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Default Nov 17, 2020 at 03:31 AM
  #52
I had a hard time with my depression this morning. I've been struggling to sleep tonight. And I just told myself, "Enough is enough!" I wanted to call it quits and just evaporate into nothingness. But I kept on keeping on. That's all I have. My will to try to improve my circumstances. I think today I will go easy on myself and just rest when I can. I will try to do nice things for myself. And I will make the best of a difficult situation. Wishing everyone here the best.

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Heart Nov 17, 2020 at 04:40 AM
  #53
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, @Deilla. I'm praying for you. God bless you!
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Default Nov 17, 2020 at 02:23 PM
  #54
Grrrrr. I wish they would stop screaming at me

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Heart Nov 17, 2020 at 04:25 PM
  #55
I'm also wishing, @Fuzzybear, that they will stop screaming at you!
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Default Nov 17, 2020 at 05:13 PM
  #56
Sometimes, it seems, all there is left is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. As my father always used to say many years ago: "You're not required to like it. You're just required to do it." I've taken that as my mantra.
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Unhappy Nov 17, 2020 at 05:19 PM
  #57
I am definitely a misfit. All my life I have felt like I was on the outside looking in at people living their lives and having a good time. I can feel lonely in a crowded room. I have been through several therapists and shrinks. I have been diagnosed as Schizoid, Anti-Social Personality Disorder, Dystymic Depression, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Asperger, just to name a few. So I am definitely a misfit since no one can figure out what I am.

For the last few months I have been feeling depressed about getting old. My birthday is coming up and I will be 70. I look at all the young people, especially the young women and realize that at my age I will never ever have a relationship with them. One another forum I wrote about this and was told I would just have to have relationships with women my age.


Good idea but there is a problem. Back when I was 42 I met a 19 year old Bi Goth Witch and she got me into the Goth Scene, and into Pagan religions and current music. She about killed me trying to keep up with her, but ever since, I find that women my age are sticks in the mud. They are stuck in the 60's and early 70's and would rather die than go to a Goth Club. And since I am into Goth Music, Folk Metal, Death Metal Viking metal and pretty much everything but most Rap although there were a few Rap artists I like finding a woman my age with my taste in music and lifestyle is impossible.

Plus most women my age are my age. Old, wrinkled, and most women my age are fat and stuck in their ways. I miss the young adventurous girls I used to have relationships with. They were pretty much open to try everything and anything.

But that is all over now and has been for the last 10 years. Back in the middle 2000's I finally bit the bullet and met a woman online, she was 5 years younger than me. I was 60 at the time and she was 55. She was not the typical woman I would have wanted but I figured I would stick it out. The biggest thing about her she wasn't fat. She had a fair figure. Not particularly pretty but OK. We got married so she could have health insurance. Our sex life was good, up until I got sick and ended up with ED which totally blew our sex life.


We talked it over and she told me that she was actually tired of sex and just put up with it for me. She told me she started having sex at 14 and by 18 had over 50 different partners and by the time she got with me she had close to 200. She figured settling down with one guy would give her a break. So...that sucks.

Anyway so here I am now, with no sex, looking at all the sweet young things and wishing.... So that is what my depression is about...mostly....
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Smile Nov 20, 2020 at 01:38 PM
  #58
I've been exceptionally busy the past couple of days. I'm just so tired it's difficult to even think straight or focus on threads here on PC. Hope everyone is well though. Please keep the misfits thread going!

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Default Nov 20, 2020 at 02:14 PM
  #59
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I've been exceptionally busy the past couple of days. I'm just so tired it's difficult to even think straight or focus on threads here on PC. Hope everyone is well though. Please keep the misfits thread going!

Hugs and respect to all

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Default Nov 20, 2020 at 02:16 PM
  #60
I am not my best self lately. I also have practically no energy. I'm feeling very sad right now, & emotionally, mentally, & physically exhausted. I have so many things to do that I'm neglecting, so I feel extremely disappointed in myself. But I do believe I'm going to be all right. The pandemic is probably part of it. I'm sorry. And I know you go through a lot. So I don't want to complain. I try very hard. But I fail sometimes. Thank you for wanting to post here. It helps me, too. Hugs to you!
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