Depression Vent Room for Misfits

I’m feeling better and stronger today. I was hurting too badly to travel to visit with my daughter but we talked by phone for an hour and 15 minutes. We rescheduled for next week. I think I’ll pull through this.

Hugs to all

So good to see you! I hope you are well.

I'm glad you could at least talk with your daughter on the phone, & your day together is only postponed. I'm so sorry you were hurting so much. You have a really good attitude.

Has anyone read "Brave New World" ?

There's so much information coming at me - With euphoria but depression dragging me back to where I fully decayed in the past.

I need to let you all know... I will survive. But I can't be judged for my wanting of things immediately, the grasping of the future.

I'm a good person. But I am stupid of a smart person.

Torment was just a small part of it all. I needed to know that this is real, in the unrealness.

I can't fully appreciate life. Because I'm too scared to attempt to live.

I'm scared that way, too, @Desoxyn. And I worry about the dystopia kind of thing happening in a conditioned society's mind. The world these days is so difficult to figure out. And I think it naturally triggers ptsd in people with past traumas.

The stress is unreal from all of this. Everyone has brain fog.

I'm in a zombie apocalypse.

After a few off days on the couch, I’m on the move again. I’ll attend bible study this morning and then have lunch with friends. Therapy is later today and the church will drop off a delicious dinner around 5.

I do have some lingering sadness but overall my mood is good and I’m hopeful for the future.

Hugs to all.

It sounds like you are going to have a really good day today! I am so very happy for you, dear @Jennifer 1967!

Thank you for always being so kind and thoughtful.

I'm thankful for a lot of things at this moment.

I’m down about a few things. A friend, my daughter, my potential diagnosis, my recovery. I’ve spent a few days crying but think I’m on the upswing now. I hope. I hurt inside and feel down.

I'm doing all that I can think of to smooth away the fear. And I do believe I am going to be better pretty soon.

I feel overwhelmed and stressed. It's so much that I am crying. It's not really depression. It's distress and fear.

I don’t ascribe to a lot of dominant society social norms, beliefs, gender norms or expectations…

I find it offensive when advised to “get over” the loss of a loved one.

I don’t feel or ascribe to grief having a time period.

I view journaling, blogging and posting on forums the same.

I post on here and chronic illnesses Facebook groups, to process my thoughts , frustrations, brainstorm, brain dump and to laugh.

It does not mean everyone is seeking advice or need a FIX.

It’s important to assess IF questions or feedback were ASKED.

And it’s important to leave the person alone when asked.

It does not matter if you have the best of intentions, feel you were being nice because people have the right to be left alone and NOT want your unsolicited feedback.

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My depression spikes when I experience chronic illness(es) flare ups.

I’ve been experiencing a chronic illness(es) flare up for 6 weeks straight.

I’m now at the irritability phase and getting teary eyed during sad movie scenes.

I’m working on feeling comfortable with crying.
Crying was not an acceptable emotion in my childhood household, accept when someone took their final journey.

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I expect a lot from my efforts and when they don't pay off, I get very upset. I wonder what I did wrong. I beat myself up and call myself a failure. I try so hard to succeed. It's been 2 years that I have tried various avenues. And nothing has worked out. I'm discouraged.

I've been feeling the futility emotion, which makes it harder than usual.

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I knew this was nothing to get excited about. It’s created by politicians who absolutely can NOT relate to everyday people or individuals with disabilities.

Politicians who work for the government and don’t worry about medical insurance and medical bills.

I’m very upset. I stopped receiving Xolair injections for Chronic Urticaria because I could no longer afford the office visits.

My immunologist said he would have someone look into this. I have an appointment next month to follow up.

My credit had multiple medical bills and a few were listed more than once. It doesn’t matter if you make regular payments the medical system expects people on a fixed income to pay a bill off in 3 payments. I keep a spreadsheet with all my medical bills and payments.

I have Medicare and don’t qualify for Medicaid. I’ve been denied multiple times because of income. There are so many medications NOT covered by Medicare.

I’ve had lab work NOT covered. My Endocrinologist is looking into why my last thyroid labs were denied and deemed NOT NECESSARY. Some days are a real struggle…

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I was supposed to have an important business call today. But the person never called or texted why they couldn't call. I'm supposed to work for this person. I don't trust him now. I don't trust him to pay me. In the past, he's told me to work until the client makes money. I quit. I refuse to work for him. This was an important call. I don't need this **** in my life. I was in a good mood. Now I am very sad.

I'm so sorry, @Deilla.