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Default Feb 28, 2021 at 05:27 PM
  #301
I am haunted by a repetitive nightmare from childhood, at times. And today, 68, I feel as if I am ever on the edge of things, looking in...even when (even more?) with my children and grandchildren. What I feel does not match the actual experience---what is is better than what I feel---but right now, for a while anyway I haven't been able to get out of the thought-eddy for any amount of time...I never fit in anywhere, even when I was considered an asset and a friend, even then there was something 'different'. Lately, I am sad with the banality of my dreams...they used to be interesting, comforting...
(minus the nightmare) ...now anxieties and regrets play out, nothing dramatic just sad I wish I was my cat right now, chasing its tail, grooming. I say that but doubt I mean it. It feels sad but better than not to vent...

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Default Feb 28, 2021 at 05:43 PM
  #302
It's the end of my day. I've had a good day but now I feel sad because the sun is going down and I am getting tired. I dread tomorrow. I'm not sure I'm ready for bed but sleeping will help me feel better.

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Heart Feb 28, 2021 at 07:50 PM
  #303
I was feeling very depressed this morning, & also very anxious, but all that faded away when I got engrossed in some things that I was wondering about & ended up researching, via the internet. I have always loved school! So I think this is a good mechanism for me when I'm having a problem.

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Default Mar 01, 2021 at 03:36 PM
  #304
Today has been stressful. I'm almost in tears. I've been working on putting new sheets on my bed. I'm trying to get the mattress cover on. I had to wash it. I put one half on after trying to get the right end, and I was exhausted. I have to keep working at this and fight through the pain. It upsets me that simple things like this hurt so much.

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Smile Mar 08, 2021 at 05:07 PM
  #305
Cleaning day again today. So now I'm pooped... as usual. Otherwise not too bad. Everything just is what it is. Hope all the misfits are well...
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Default Mar 08, 2021 at 06:12 PM
  #306
A little bit low.

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Confused Mar 11, 2021 at 02:52 PM
  #307
Walked over to the pharmacy today where I get my med's. Also picked up a couple of additional things. It's all really a no-brainer. But I get so anxious & confused doing it. It's difficult to keep track of what I'm doing. When I first started making these monthly trips I kind-of enjoyed getting out, I so seldom leave home especially alone. But lately not so much...
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Post Mar 11, 2021 at 05:31 PM
  #308
Thank you so very much, @Skeezyks, for the above post! It's not only interesting, it's very helpful, at least for me.

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Default Mar 12, 2021 at 04:29 PM
  #309
Depression Vent Room for Misfits

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Default Mar 14, 2021 at 07:19 PM
  #310
I think I feel bad because I am tired. I did a lot of work today. I was having fun for the most part. I may have worked longer than I should have. Some iced coffee and a game will help me feel better.

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Confused Mar 15, 2021 at 04:50 PM
  #311
Yesterday was vacuuming day. So, by the end, I was pooped as usual. And it always takes me a day or two to recover. So I'm still tired. But, also, I had a Zoom appointment with my pdoc this afternoon. These always leave me feeling anxious and... unsettled I guess. I always have difficulty with the process of "joining the meeting" as they say. And the appointment only lasts about 10 minutes. So there's really no time to get into anything. Plus I never seem to know what to say. When he asks me questions, my mind has a tendency to simply go blank. Oh well, I got my prescriptions re-authorized. And that's the important thing.
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Default Mar 15, 2021 at 06:00 PM
  #312
I enjoyed a tv travel program today about Venice, Italy. It was nice to get away, so to speak. But I am feeling a little bit sad right now.

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Default Mar 20, 2021 at 07:09 PM
  #313
I am feeling really sad tonight. I don't know what to do with my time. Nothing I normally like seems appealing. I ordered more groceries online. That helped some cause I picked a bunch of comfort food, including stuff for Easter. I will start my celebration early. Maybe I can play a game tonight. I tried sleeping but I'm wide-awake. My online therapist is out of town. She usually responds on the weekends at least once. So I don't have her to talk to. I could try to watch a movie. I'll see what I can figure out.

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Default Mar 22, 2021 at 06:39 PM
  #314
Today is the lowest I've felt. I've probably been lower, but those were different times, and I was a different me.
Today I am at the lowest I've felt.
I am very scared and preparing for if I feel worse. Reaching out to as many groups, doctors, chats, therapists as I can, because I am scared it will get worse. I'm angry because I was dealing with so much, and more keeps piling on, and I don't have the time/space/energy to keep dealing with it, and thus I am at my lowest. I need help and support and I'm scared I won't have it when I need it. I'm scared of the end of the call or the end of the chat, when those anxious feelings start again, without words in my head, just uncontrollable subconscious knowing I'm either in danger or will be again soon. I'm crying because the more I prepare, the more I try, the more help I ask, the worse the world treats us and takes any steps we made away. I'm scared because I used to say, if I can make it through this week. Now it's, can I make it through to tomorrow.
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Cool Mar 23, 2021 at 03:24 AM
  #315
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noninde View Post
Today is the lowest I've felt. I've probably been lower, but those were different times, and I was a different me.
Today I am at the lowest I've felt.
I am very scared and preparing for if I feel worse. Reaching out to as many groups, doctors, chats, therapists as I can, because I am scared it will get worse. I'm angry because I was dealing with so much, and more keeps piling on, and I don't have the time/space/energy to keep dealing with it, and thus I am at my lowest. I need help and support and I'm scared I won't have it when I need it. I'm scared of the end of the call or the end of the chat, when those anxious feelings start again, without words in my head, just uncontrollable subconscious knowing I'm either in danger or will be again soon. I'm crying because the more I prepare, the more I try, the more help I ask, the worse the world treats us and takes any steps we made away. I'm scared because I used to say, if I can make it through this week. Now it's, can I make it through to tomorrow.
I hope you find the help and compassion that you need right now. For me, after my fears were so bad for so long, I was finally able to accept that I was just not in control and just accept whatever my future will be. I say this as a person who is having my basic needs met. I am thankful that I currently have food and stable shelter. I hope things get better for you. Please hang on! Help might come from an unexpected place!
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Heart Mar 23, 2021 at 05:43 PM
  #316
Dear @Noninde, living with fear of what's around the corner is horrible. Things are bad enough around the world right now. What you're going through is way too much. You are trying so hard in every way you can think of. I'm so glad you found your way here. Many of us receive support here. I hope you're exploring all of the forums here to find friends & the best threads for you. It took me a while & I'm still learning how big & helpful this place is. I hope so very much that things will get better for you very soon. Hugs & love to you!!

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Default Mar 23, 2021 at 07:15 PM
  #317
I'm not too happy tonight. I took my cat to the vet today. We were there for 4 hours. I feel worn out and sad that I waited around that long. And the vet didn't really know what was wrong with my cat. She treated her for an upset stomach. My cat seems fine at the moment. So that is a good thing. I'm just really sad tonight.

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Default Mar 29, 2021 at 08:37 AM
  #318
Trying to keep myself busy and not wallow, but I feel so unwell physically and mentally plus lack of sleep is making me have dark thoughts.
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Default Mar 29, 2021 at 12:35 PM
  #319
I'm also having trouble sleeping, & I cry sometimes. But I'm doing ok right now.

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Default Apr 02, 2021 at 01:31 PM
  #320
Nothing new here... just stopping by to say hi. Hope everyone is okay.
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