Hard times

So, I don’t really know where to begin with this. I’ve been with this girl for almost 3 years, living with her being by her side all the time. Then something in me changed. I used to play video games when I was younger growing up to cope. Since I have moved in with her I’ve had anger issues getting worse and worse, especially with video games. Now I have anxiety anger and depression issues. Before Thanksgiving she told me we needed to talk, which to be honest someone like me is going to freak out. I FaceTimed her so we could talk, since at the time she’s been down at her moms and I was at our apartment since I had to work. She told me we needed to take a break, which completely tore me apart to pieces. After we hung up I blacked out, I was gone from my own mind like I had left my body. I did not sleep at all that night. I jolted back to reality at 6:30 in the morning. After that happened i was so tired, my eyes were burning because I could tell I cried the entire time. I was planning to propose to her this month on her birthday on the 26th. Once she got home we talked more and she’s mentioned that I play too many games, I needed to work on my anger, depression, and anxiety. Along with spending more time with her. The second to last thing she mentioned was I should consider seeing other people to boost my confidence. That one really hit me hard since, why would I do that if I love her, why would I do that to myself, I would never be able to set me and her to the side and just try to go on a date and attempt to connect with someone when I want to be with her. She has told me that she still does love me, and she has told me that she does want to work things out. Recently I’ve found out that she’s been talking to a guy that she claims is a friend, and has told them she’s not looking for a relationship and has told them about our situation. I’ve seen some of the messages she’s sent to him and it’s very flirtatious. Not just talking. I confronted her about it and she’s come back at me that it is a dom/sub guy that she would get paid to have over. A day or so later I asked how much she’d get out of curiosity and she said she wasn’t getting paid for it. Not too long ago I have just asked her if I was wasting my time on working things out. She has told me “no, unless you really want to actually break up.” She told me not to worry about Brandon (the guy she’s talking to) and she told me that she needs to see me change instead of telling her I’m going to change. Thing about this break haven’t really been sitting right with me, I find stuff out everyday. I go to work worried and paranoid I’m going to see some guy come in and there going to do stuff. (We have a couple cameras inside the apartment and one out the window in the front along with a doorbell camera). I know she’s probably going to have Brandon over, that’s just a when it will happen. I’m starting to grow trust issues with her and that’s bad. Anytime I confront her she gets mad and stops talking but not completely. She also will just ask me if we want to break up. Some stuff she will just say she doesn’t want to talk about it. I really love her, I really want to keep her but this is hard and confusing. She’s been hugging me, laying with me, hanging out with me, watching movies. She took care of me when I had to stay home from work because I was sick. She will rub my back, kiss my cheek. I’m so confused and this is not helping my anxiety. A few hours ago she told me 1 of our roommates were not going to rent there lease with us and that’s a chunk of rent we can’t afford to have to pick up amongst ourselves.

Dear nak0604,

That situation sounds so confusing, frustrating and demoralizing. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. So very sorry you are in this unwelcome and unhappy predicament. Wish I knew what to say to help.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

i am so Sorry things are being so hard for You two, nak. my advice qould be to simply do what she suggested - Work on Yourself And try to improve Yourself. i'd suggest seeing a therapist to start out. That way You'd also show her that You're REALLY interested in changing And in making things Work out. To Be Honest i also don't find it fair of her to put You on "hold" like that. i feel like she also needs to Be Honest And tell You exactly what she plans on doing. Surely she doesn't Expect this situation to Last ForEever? i'd have an Honest talk with her about ALL of this. SEnding many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @nak0604, Your Family, Your FriEnds, This Girl And ALL of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Thanks, I hope this wouldn’t last a long time. Anytime I try to talk to her about the situation she gets mad and stops talking to me at least right now.

I am sorry you are going through this but there is no excuse for it. If she loved you there would be no other men.