[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by will19

I have finally turned in my resignation at work and we agreed that the 4th of June will be my last day. Other than that, nothing much happened at work except for a little bit of drama, like it has been, in which it's making me glad to leave.

[TishaBuv]

I’ve been dealing with a chronically frustrating situation with the same triggers in a relationship. It happened again, so it brought me down yet again. I did have four good days thought up until then! But now I am no longer crying and ‘acting out’. I am calm and just want to find the strength to do what is best for me moving forward. No one should have to live with this kind of stress.

I realize my part in it. I have a need that probably stems from a disorder. My h just can’t wrap his head around the way he needs to act to meet that need. It was simply, really, not even that strange, but obviously something completely impossible and opposite of anything he can fathom. He cajoled and lied to me thousands of times that he gets it and will do it, but he never does, so we fight. I see the futility and have had enough. I am completely set in this faulty thinking I’ve adopted and rigid. I can’t change it. And he can’t do it, although he keeps lying that he will but then just doesn’t.

I need help getting away from him and learning how to be alone and at peace.

[will19]

Typical Saturday today for me. All the things I needed to do went without a hitch. So much has been on my mind about leaving my job pretty soon. There are some blue feelings and even a little bit of anger. Other than all of that, nothing much else to report about. If it all goes as planned for next week, then next Saturday will be my last one that I will be doing all of those things that I usually do on Saturdays. It's weird and it doesn't seem possible!

Just now I read an article online about what it's like to work in the final two weeks before it ends. It was a great article describing what it feels like and suggestions on how to handle the final days, including the last one.

[leomama]

Definitely thinking I’m dealing with a major depression. I know I should probably get help for it.

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[EnnuiCat]

In the midst of a major depressive episode. Pushing everyone away and isolating. It's just so hard.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, @EnnuiCat! Thank you for joining us! Please hang in there & keep posting, ok?

[Cocosurviving]

I recently learned about Mastodon. The platform was highly recommended as it is *not controlled by a corporate giant seeking censorship on topics that impact BIPOC communities. I registered and downloaded one of the apps that’s supposed to work with Mastodon. So far no luck getting the app to work with Mastodon. I’m definitely not on my laptop often to make post and build a follower base.

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[Cocosurviving]

I actually believe I might be in the same boat as another person in our Xolair group. I believe Xolair injections might be making my Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria worse. I do write down...journal my flare ups.

I’m happy for folx that Xolair has been a game changer for Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria however it is misinformation to make posts that GUARANTEE results just because particular individuals are having success. The manufacturer does not GUARANTEE successful results. No pharmaceutical manufacturer can GUARANTEE successful results.

Everyone does *not have success with Xolair for Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria.

After having my second Xolair injections [300 mg] for May 2021. I called my immunologist office answering service. I spoke with a nurse on call and was instructed to go to a local urgent care clinic.

I had to be given higher dosages of steroids [and monitored] to calm down my Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria. Which I started also having Angioedema swells [top and bottom lip + my right thigh]. It’s painful and I’m on bed rest. My right thigh continues to swell with Angioedema.

It’s hard to think positive and hold out hope that these Xolair injections will begin to help when I’ve experienced zero improvement. I’ve continuously been instructed to go to urgent care or a hospital. Which my flare ups always happen in the wee hours of the night.

These medical bills are stressing me out. I’m already making payments but continue to return to urgent care or a hospital as instructed which creates more medical bills.

I’ve applied for medical financial assistance through a local hospital. I’ve been checking my mail waiting on a response. I also have multiple autoimmune diseases [Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto, Asthma, Atopic Dermatitis and Alopecia] and experience a domino effect.
My Fibromyalgia pain has been horrible as well. I treat my Fibromyalgia with medical cannabis, bath bombs, herbal teas, supplements and traditional medicinals. I don’t believe in pain medications [for me].

I’m not seeking any advice. I’d just rather post here because some individuals can relate to being frustrated with chronic illnesses.

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[Cocosurviving]

I actually no longer take any psychotropic medications. I was mis-diagnosed and I was so hurt. I had so many records to have amendments added to.

Laws protect healthcare providers and mental illness providers with little regard to the outcome of their mistakes and mis-diagnoses.

Myself and my adult daughter always experienced adverse reactions to depression, anxiety and mood stabilizers. We think the reaction from the mood stabilizers is because of being mis-diagnosed.

I actually have Hashimoto and if I could get rid of one of my chronic illnesses....hands down it would be Hashimoto. My teenager also has Hashimoto. Hashimoto impacts several systems in the human body including moods.

My teenager and adult son are diagnosed with ADHD. Both were taking Focalin XR. My son was rushed from his college to a local hospital in Tennessee. His primary care recommended he no longer take Focalin XR.
About six months later my teenager began experiencing horrible adverse reactions to Focalin XR. Both my kids had been taking Focalin XR for several years.

Fast forward me and my children don’t believe in any psychotropic medications FOR US. We’re also not interested in the medication merry go round.

I treat my depression, anxiety and PTSD with self care. I created a list of things that I pick from to do when I feel depression, anxiety or PTSD.

When I tried tapering off Lithium it was a bih. Doctors are not as knowledgeable as society would paint the picture. I actually contacted the pharmaceutical manufacturer. They gave me all the steps and explained it to my psychiatrist. This all happened in early 2019.

Mood stabilizers made my personality horrible. I was on edge all the time, had little self control and my moods were all over the place. I actually get pissed thinking about it. I broke many bridges that I’d never try to repair. I don’t mind people that walked out my life because of my depression and chronic illnesses.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of grief. My primary care recommended a place and my immunologist. I’m not going to either and providers don’t listen. I’m not going to any therapist that is clueless about my culture based on lived experiences vs textbook reading. I also don’t care for therapists that follow organized religions...not my cup of tea. And they can never leave their dogma outside.

Working out and running was really helping but I’ve been placed on bed rest so much. I’m back on bed rest again. I have a nurse coming out next week. I made sure she was aware I require masks to enter my residence.

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[Deilla]

I'm very sad and lonely today. I have nothing to do and no one to talk to. I may just sleep all day. That's the best I can hope for.

[will19]

Yesterday I had a pretty good day. Took a long bike ride and had a nice talk with my sister. She was very supportive of me with my decision about my job. She's the only one so far who has been very forward and supportive of my decision. I also made a batch of spaghetti sauce yesterday, but this time it's for a friend of mine who requested it. I'll be bringing it over to his place later on today.

[Breaking Dawn]

I didn't fulfill any of my goals yesterday, so I'm feeling a bit sad at the moment. And I'm scared, with the worry that I'll let myself down again today. In fact, I'm mad at myself right now.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by will19

Yesterday I had a pretty good day. Took a long bike ride and had a nice talk with my sister. She was very supportive of me with my decision about my job. She's the only one so far who has been very forward and supportive of my decision. I also made a batch of spaghetti sauce yesterday, but this time it's for a friend of mine who requested it. I'll be bringing it over to his place later on today.

Oh, my goodness, @will19, I love good spaghetti sauce! (I'm actually 1/2 Italian ) Maybe this enjoyable talent of yours (?) is part of your future? So many possibilities in your future!

[will19]

Today was a pretty nice day for me. Went to my friend's house to deliver the spaghetti sauce and we chatted for a little bit. It seems like it's not very often that I would have a real person close to me to chat with. The chatting is only done with by phone or email normally. Nothing much else after that, but it seemed like a more relaxed day than other days.

[Aardwolf]

I've been really hurting today - And at the same time completely empty. I want to curl up and just "not be" for a while. There's just, nothing.

[Breaking Dawn]

My day started out pretty good but then it fizzled out.

[Deilla]

I feel tired but I had a couple of naps today. I'm not ready for bed so I will try to work on chores.

[will19]

I woke up feeling very depressed. But then I got to work, and much to my surprise, it was a pretty nice day there. I haven't received any words from my company about coming up to my last day. When I submitted my resignation letter last Friday, I had asked important questions. I'll have to reach out to the company if I don't hear anything. I haven't done much today to line up things for myself after I leave, so I need to get going.

[mssweatypalms]

My mood was better today, but I was wrong when I thought I wasn't going to be sleepy and tired. I woke up from a nap and can't work out. I need to prepare for my evening work anyway so I need to shower now.

[Breaking Dawn]

I only have hope right now to encourage me. And wishes. I'm thankful for my imagination. I can imagine my day changing, transforming, as if influenced by a miracle, like a loving gift from the Universe.