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Default Jun 08, 2021 at 11:03 PM
  #681
Some set backs have happened since later yesterday and earlier today that got me down. I guess in retirement, things go wrong just as much as when working. Yesterday I split up with the only friend I had. We've split up before and got back together. But then things are said and we are back splitting up again. I feel like I really need a friend at a time like this.

This morning I had an appointment for an eye exam. When I got to the place, I found out that the place didn't honor my insurance that I had. I drove a bit of a ways to get there and then no eye exam. So I rescheduled for Thursday somewhere else. After that, things went alright.

So far I've been very busy and have all kinds of things lined up to do in the next few days. So no real boredom right now for me.
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Default Jun 09, 2021 at 08:17 AM
  #682
Been awake since before 3 a.m. This is getting me really down.

Being down doesn't last forever. It blows over. That's what's getting me through.
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Default Jun 09, 2021 at 08:37 AM
  #683
I have bad days these past few days. Today, I failed to get an appoinment, so I have to wait for unknown period again... And that's if I can get it next time. Along with other bad things, I want to talk to someone right now, but I don't have anyone to talk to.
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Default Jun 09, 2021 at 09:47 AM
  #684
My antidepressants have been working really well lately and I have been feeling positive most days despite some anxiety and delusions. But I kind of "practice" positivity, too, by focusing a lot on gratitude. (I tend to journal on gratitude most days.)

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Default Jun 09, 2021 at 01:33 PM
  #685
I'm doing okay today. I am staying busy and talking with friends. It's helping.

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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 10:24 AM
  #686
Well I started back on a mood stabilizer. I was taking it in the morning but now in thinking to take it in the evening due to the drowsiness side effect.

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Default Jun 11, 2021 at 05:20 PM
  #687
The week is just about over, being the first whole week of retirement. I remembered on my single weeks off from work, I would get very depressed on Thursday & Friday because that nice week off was coming to an end. Funny how yesterday and today, I feel just like that. So I guess it still hasn't sunk in to me yet that I'm not going to a job for a good while, at least.

Lately, in the last couple of days, I have been feeling a little more depressed than I thought I would. I feel bad for feeling that way. As of now, there had been two loses as the job ended for me in which I really enjoyed until a couple of months ago when it changed, and losing the only friend I had due to some intense disagreements. I had a couple of doctor appointments this week for check-ups and they were both fine. However I have an appointment for next Monday to a dermatologist for a check up. I have not had some good results in the past with it, as I had some skin cancers removed. It wasn't much but it's a nuisance.

Also today I got a call from the eye exam I had yesterday and it turned out that, as I paid for the service yesterday, there was an additional charge that was forgotten on the bill. I couldn't believe it.
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Default Jun 11, 2021 at 05:54 PM
  #688
I am slightly bummed but it’s not terrible. I think my opiates were making my depression and paranoia bad. Since I’ve been off them things have been ok. I don’t seem to have the post op depression I was worried about. I think it may be because this surgery was in the summer and the last one was in October which was right when my SAD was starting and I had quarantine depression as well. Not to mention that terrible scary Covid surge happened around that time where 4 thousand people a day were dying.

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Default Jun 11, 2021 at 07:41 PM
  #689
I'm not doing too good at all. Getting fully vaccinated has not restored me to normal living as much as I thought it would. I only sleep about 3 hours at night. Then I'm up for hours and watch the sun rise. Then I'm alternating napping and dosing for short spurts. I finally felt rested by 5 p.m. So there is no circadian rhythym. This creates a sense of chaos. No daily structure. I'm not sticking to my plan of going to the gym, and I'm very deconditioned. I'm sore most of the time and just let chores go undone. My place is quite a mess.

I feel like asking for more pain med and/or something for sleep. I don't dare because I don't want to get labeled as med-seeking. Friends call, and I don't even want to pick up the phone. I thought, by now, I'ld be traveling to visit family. It just doesn't interest me much. Sometimes I think I should get a dog.
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Default Jun 11, 2021 at 07:46 PM
  #690
I'm very depressed today. Things aren't working out. I'm alone and feel lonely. I have nothing to do.

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Default Jun 11, 2021 at 08:18 PM
  #691
Well I’ve been on lamictal since Monday. I’m working ft at a demanding and stressful job and my daughters been home all week. I’m trying to rekindle things with my ex fiancé and it’s slow going. That’s more for the relationship forum.

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Default Jun 12, 2021 at 02:35 AM
  #692
I'm still depressed and lonely. I have no one. I'm trying to work on projects but it's not helping. I want to quit all my projects and give up. Nothing is going to improve my situation.

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Default Jun 12, 2021 at 10:48 AM
  #693
I've recently been thinking some small insect has been biting me, I'm depressed because I know now that's not what it is, it's happening in my hands and feet. It has to be diabetic neuropathy. I've been careless about my blood sugar levels. If this is what I look forward to, along with all the other pains, I'm not going to be too happy. I've stopped asking for opiods. Now I'll stick to that, but that depresses me too. I've been really *****y, it's been a week since I had my last dose.
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Default Jun 12, 2021 at 11:48 AM
  #694
Very difficult at times. But I still see the light at the end of my tunnel.

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Default Jun 12, 2021 at 11:53 AM
  #695
Having a hard time dealing with things today. I'm feeling very out of it. It's very hard for me to discuss and open up in the forums because of very negative experiences I won't get into, but I wish I could utilize this site as it's designed. It's hard enough finding one thread where I feel comfortable to share in general. Hope everyone else is doing OK. I should probably consider getting back on my meds and therapy. I don't know how I slowly got out of that habit, but anyway...
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Default Jun 12, 2021 at 01:33 PM
  #696
It’s been off and on but for the last 2 hours I’ve been feeling really depressed. I don’t know what I need or even what I want. I don’t feel like doing any retail therapy or any other unhealthy behaviors. This started last Friday right after I got out of surgery. So maybe I’m having post op depression. I’m not supposed to be dealing with PMS for another 6 days. So it’s not that. I just feel down and I don’t know why.

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Default Jun 12, 2021 at 04:55 PM
  #697
A different kind of Saturday for me this time. I cleaned this morning, but before that, I made a batch of spaghetti sauce that should last me a month. No shopping and doing the laundry today; as I have done it that way for about 30 years. So it seemed strange.

Nothing much for tonight except to watch a movie, like I always do. I have things coming up to do tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday.
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Default Jun 15, 2021 at 03:22 PM
  #698
Things are rough right now. I’m wondering if I’m having an existential crisis. My mom opened the blinds herself in my room because I’ve just been wallowing in the dark all day and she says it’s not good to not have any sunlight. I won’t go to the grocery store with her either. My headphones are ready for pickup at Target and I’ll go tomorrow to get them. Usually I want to pick up stuff immediately that’s come in. I haven’t eaten much today because I haven’t had any desire to eat. I’ve basically just eaten crackers today. I had some noodles though and some frozen grapes. Basically I just don’t have the energy and this happened right after my surgery on Friday. I didn’t think it would be this bad since it’s summer and not fall unlike the last one. So I don’t have any SAD or pandemic fatigue this time. But the post op depression is still bad.

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Default Jun 15, 2021 at 05:14 PM
  #699
It's been a bumpy ride for me yesterday and today. Yesterday I went for a check-up at the dermatologist and a biopsy had to be taken. No result yet but I doubt that it's going to be good news.

Today I got up very early to bring my car in for service. I've had a loud grinding noise on the front end. It's been a good while since I've had any work done on it. They found the problem is and there are other problems that I wasn't aware of. So this is going to be costly. Well it's a good thing I got a lot of unused vacation time that I cashed in on. If it were not for that, I would have to dip into my special savings fund a lot. But I will have to dip into it a little bit.

I'm feeling very tired and depressed now. I haven't slept well lately, either. For some strange reason June, over the years for me, has not been a kind month. It seems like bad things happen at this time of year.
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Default Jun 15, 2021 at 07:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by will19 View Post
It's been a bumpy ride for me yesterday and today. Yesterday I went for a check-up at the dermatologist and a biopsy had to be taken. No result yet but I doubt that it's going to be good news.

Today I got up very early to bring my car in for service. I've had a loud grinding noise on the front end. It's been a good while since I've had any work done on it. They found the problem is and there are other problems that I wasn't aware of. So this is going to be costly. Well it's a good thing I got a lot of unused vacation time that I cashed in on. If it were not for that, I would have to dip into my special savings fund a lot. But I will have to dip into it a little bit.

I'm feeling very tired and depressed now. I haven't slept well lately, either. For some strange reason June, over the years for me, has not been a kind month. It seems like bad things happen at this time of year.
You are going through a huge transition!! Maybe you can let a little time go by, while you're adjusting?

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