[3rd rock]

I'm thinking of trying to meet people online. A few people over the years have recommended dating apps, and I might try one later this year.

I'm now on vacation from work for most of the month. I will use the time to work on my writing.

[Rose76]

It was not a good day.

I did make and enjoy a pretty good dinner.

[Deilla]

I feel okay this morning. I slept almost 12 hours yesterday. I woke up just after midnight today. I missed all the new year's eve celebrations. I'm glad. I wasn't in the mood. I just want to move forward and hope for the best.

[Rose76]

Feel very low today. Just want to lie down again.

The way out of this pit is to get something accomplished - like the dishes piled in sink for 2 days.

[Rose76]

I'm still feeling low.

I think I'll start a thread.

[will19]

It was a pretty good day for me. Today was my birthday, though I don't like being a year older. My brother called this morning. We have hardly ever spoken to each other over the years. We had a pretty good talk. My friend brought over little tid-bits of things for me, but I was disappointed that he came with someone else and did not want to stay with me for a little while. Took a long bike ride. And my sister called.

The day is over now and I kept asking myself, "is this all there is to my birthday"? At least I don't have to think about going to work tomorrow.

[Deilla]

I'm pretty tired. I didn't sleep much. And I feel lonely and sad. I'm also annoyed. I think because I need to sleep.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by will19

It was a pretty good day for me. Today was my birthday, though I don't like being a year older. My brother called this morning. We have hardly ever spoken to each other over the years. We had a pretty good talk. My friend brought over little tid-bits of things for me, but I was disappointed that he came with someone else and did not want to stay with me for a little while. Took a long bike ride. And my sister called.

The day is over now and I kept asking myself, "is this all there is to my birthday"? At least I don't have to think about going to work tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Will. I'm sure you are very young for your years, with how fit you must be from all that bike riding. You inspire me. I used to cycle a lot. I may start again, when it warms up.

Talking with your brother sounds like a pretty big deal to me. Maybe you can build on that and increase the family connectedness. Maybe send him some recent photos of yourself. Your friend could snap a few, perhaps.

Take heart. It's good that you are still here in the world, helping to keep things going.

[Rose76]

I've been pretty low all day. It's the first really poor day I've had since before mid-Sept.

I started a thread. I don't want to slide into serious depression again. I've been doing so fairly okay since mid-Sept. I gotta get back to trying.

[3rd rock]

Well, my dad died last night. I don't feel anything about this. I was saddened and cried when one of my birds died last year. But this doesn't really bother me for reasons I can't really get into here. I might not even fully understand them myself. I feel nothing at the news. It might be disturbing at the implication that someone like that could die and it doesn't bother me, because it's indicative of a deeply damaged psyche on my part. But right now I just don't care. It bothers me about as much as the rain.

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear @3rd rock, From my point of view, there is probably a reason of substance that is causing you to feel as you do about your father being gone now. And I remember about your beloved bird, whom you loved so much, & how you felt when she was gone. Your feelings matter! Thank you for posting.

[Rose76]

I'm having trouble believing that life is worth getting out of bed for.

But, I just did the dishes. That was a start. There was 3 days' worth.

Depressive episodes come. Then they go. I'm fortunate that way. My episodes dissolve in time. This one is fading already.

[T4bbyCat]

Not so great. Already Jan. 3 and nothing to look forward in the new year, save potentially impending doom for reasons I probably won't predict (though plenty are top of mind).

I have spent the first part of the day in absolute agony with my fibro. over 5 minits just to put on a shirt.. that's the extent of it today

I have nothing planned for the day either, so I guess I'm going to sit here and wait for a miracle

well, I'm probably not, but their are no alternatives, so..

[Deilla]

I feel okay today. I'm working on chores. I'm just taking my time. Later I will play some games. I might do a little work too.

[Breaking Dawn]

Little upsies & downsies, but all in all, I am doing ok. I've been having an encouraging talk with myself.

[will19]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Well, my dad died last night. I don't feel anything about this. I was saddened and cried when one of my birds died last year. But this doesn't really bother me for reasons I can't really get into here. I might not even fully understand them myself. I feel nothing at the news. It might be disturbing at the implication that someone like that could die and it doesn't bother me, because it's indicative of a deeply damaged psyche on my part. But right now I just don't care. It bothers me about as much as the rain.

I'm very sorry to hear about your father's passing. I can relate to what you said. Both my parents and brother had passed away in the last 22 years, about eight years apart each. I felt nothing when all three of them passed away.

With my father it was a matter of time because he was old and struggling with a heart issue. My mother was older than he when she passed and had dementia. I wasn't that close to her. And my brother passed away because he hadn't taken good care of himself.

All and all, I felt like I didn't have a great family, so I guess that's why I didn't feel much of anything when they passed away. We weren't close and didn't get along.

Funny thing is that lately my sister has been telling me that she is looking forward in going to heaven. I think that things in general are not going well for her. I guess that's why she's looking forward to heaven.

[will19]

This is a typical Sunday morning for me. Just not doing much for now and relaxing, like I always do which is nice. Much to my surprise, I'm feeling better than I thought I would by now. I thought that I would have a "monstrous" depression since I'm not looking forward to going back to work and having events coming up that I'm dreading.

The only eventful thing that has happened so far is that I've been able to fix a clog in the bathroom sink.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m kind of down in the dumps today. I’m not depressed about therapy or group for once. So I think it’s just general winter blues. The sun hasn’t been out for days. But I’m not having any negative thoughts. Which tells me I’m doing better and that my meds are working. Usually depression equals bad thoughts for me.

[Breaking Dawn]

@Mountaindewed, I struggle with the winter blues, too! They say it's pretty common, maybe has something to do with our genetics. Anyway, best of luck to you!