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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Jan 05, 2021 at 09:51 AM
#1
This feeling of Groundhog Day is intolerable.
I do not “belong” in this ****ed up world at all. Nobody can come close to me. I trust NOBODY The abusers said I am “a bad person” And those narcissistic freaks are ALWAYS RIGHT Not about anyone on pc Not about the situation in the world      Respect to other snakes in pain and so TIRED of this “world”
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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21 81.2k hugs
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Jan 05, 2021 at 09:59 AM
#2
I’m the most disgusting person that abuser had ever known.
Bully for him
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Jan 05, 2021 at 10:03 AM
#3
A starving bear does not weigh much
I’m speaking metaphorically I wish I could SHUT those abusers up they just do not STOP Not about anyone on pc Not about the situation in the world __________________
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
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Jan 05, 2021 at 11:48 AM
#4
Quote:
 Did the abusers genuinely believe you are "bad"? Did the abusers, regardless of their beliefs, have an interest in you believing you are "bad"? What did they mean by "bad"? Did they mean morally bad, or did they mean inconvenient for them? I wish I had a way to erase their voices - or the echoes of their voices.  
__________________ My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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21 81.2k hugs
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Jan 05, 2021 at 04:38 PM
#5
Quote:
A baby takes some time, requires some minimal amount of ''play''... and again, that usually costs MONEY. Especially as they were so ''disinterested''......and lacking in creative ways of playing (except with their lies...) But these abusers were very ''creative'' in finding ways of depriving that baby of the toys etc that even ''low class brats'' had.. they are also the most snobbish ''people'' I have ever encountered. Some of them ''justified'' that in their ''minds'' by twisting the facts and painting me as morally reprehensible. Thank you Rohag for always being supportive and true 
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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21 81.2k hugs
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Jan 05, 2021 at 05:34 PM
#6
It was expedient for them to paint me as ''a bad person'' so they did not have to look at their own brutally reprehensible behaviour
That twat of a user of a T who used and abused me for years did the same.
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Legendary
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Jan 05, 2021 at 05:53 PM
#7
Quote:
This vaguely resembles the "Identified Patient" concept.
__________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Jan 05, 2021 at 06:00 PM
#8
Quote:
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
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Jan 05, 2021 at 06:38 PM
#9
Unfortunately our brains have become incorrectly wired.
Our right brain takes over when triggered. Our left rational brain shuts down. This is how we struggle and deep down we feel their lies to be true. I am sorry that you are suffering dearest Fuzzybear.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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21 81.2k hugs
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Jan 05, 2021 at 06:57 PM
#10
Quote:
(How interesting, no ''professional'' in this forest told me this. Just added more lies. It's so bizarre I suppose those who have been fortunate enough to see only good (or ''adequate'') therapists would find it hard to believe. Its the truth  )Surely they must have learnt this during their ''training''... Grrr I strongly suspect I was used to line his fat wallet long after he knew he was incompetent to help Then his wounded ego would not allow him to keep his malignant Narcissism under ''control''....Grrrrrr __________________
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
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Jan 06, 2021 at 03:43 AM
#11
Quote:
I have seen one who is up to date with the latest research. There is an acceptance now of who I am and what I can manage. I cannot be fixed right now. I will keep some hope for the future. I am sorry you had to see that abusive T. It may be that your cub is attracted to abusive care givers from her experience, who knows. Many women choose abusive partners using the same principle. Hugs and much love 
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Jan 06, 2021 at 06:35 PM
#12
Thank you dear Thirty shades
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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Oct 04, 2021 at 09:05 PM
#13
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__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,514
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6 9,697 hugs
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Oct 04, 2021 at 09:05 PM
#14
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
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Oct 08, 2021 at 06:44 AM
#15
My days are spent re rearing my cub to process the grrrrr that arrives again each time I try to sleep.
  It is tiring and exhausting. Life is too complicated for me atm.... Thank you for being here to all those who are kind and understand. I send much love and respect to you all and hope that your day is as peaceful as possible.
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