When it all seems hopeless

whisperingskye · Jan 11, 2021 at 09:02 PM

Honestly, things had not panned out the way I had hoped.

My 3 year relationship ended just when we were looking to get our own place, now I feel stuck wondering if I can do it on my own.

It’s been over two and a half years since I self harmed, and honestly I don’t think I can hold out much longer. My ex was a big factor in me stopping.

My depression is intense right now. Every day I wake up, and I feel truly awful. And it is so hard to keep going. What is the meaning? The reason? When it all just feels wrong.

I’m on a slippery slope to nowhere good, and I don’t know how to get off.

whisperingskye · Jan 11, 2021 at 09:07 PM

I do not feel “well”

Fuzzybear · Jan 12, 2021 at 09:52 PM

I'm sorry

A relationship breakup like this is a triggering and sad life event (obviously). I hope you find something (or someone) who can help. A breakup is worse if it's unexpected too I guess (I broke up with an ex fiance which was hard and hurtful but since he was abusive..... it would have been worse to shack up together permanently

It can help to remember there are other people out there who you could also get on with maybe (but this would take time). I'm sorry the professionals are not more helpful.

(I understand this....) I am sure there will be people who will suggest a ''med change''... I think DBT would be more helpful than ''meds only'' (or some minimal sort of ''professional support'') as far as ''treatment'' but I don't know the situation that well. Hugs. People here will listen (for what that is worth..)

And.. nobody is hopeless.

whisperingskye · Jan 13, 2021 at 05:57 PM

Thank you fuzzy. I actually started some private counselling today. She seemed nice. Hopefully it will work out better then the nhs alternatives i’ve had to deal with in the past. Its a shame i have to go down this route but the nhs mental health services discarded me a while ago now.

RoxanneToto · Jan 13, 2021 at 06:49 PM

Baby steps are better than nothing, I hope it works out for you with her. I’m really sorry about your breakup, it always feels like it will hurt forever, but once it stops being so raw the pain lessens a bit each day. Grieve it on your own timeline, and remember grieving isn’t a linear process either.

whisperingskye · Jan 13, 2021 at 08:19 PM

Honestly though, tonight isn’t good. I feel like I’m going back 3 or 4 years. And I hate it, yet can’t seem to stop it.

Purple,Violet,Blue · Jan 13, 2021 at 08:55 PM

So sorry, whisperingSkye

I don't want you to hurt yourself

No wonder you're struggling. It sounds like an incredibly tough time for you

I'm no stranger to self-damaging behaviours, so I completely understand the compulsion (ED's, mostly, for me), and how it can resurface at any time.

You don't deserve to be hurt! I say that from my heart

You are a precious, kind, gentle, intelligent, lovely person

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whisperingskye Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2017 Location: - Posts: 1,526 7 1,177 hugs given	Jan 11, 2021 at 09:07 PM #2 I do not feel “well” __________________ Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin
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RoxanneToto Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2020 Location: England Posts: 1,692 3 6,991 hugs given	Jan 13, 2021 at 06:49 PM #5 Baby steps are better than nothing, I hope it works out for you with her. I’m really sorry about your breakup, it always feels like it will hurt forever, but once it stops being so raw the pain lessens a bit each day. Grieve it on your own timeline, and remember grieving isn’t a linear process either.
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