Our right to feel our pain

I suffer from severe depressive episodes from Complex PTSD.

The pain is intolerable at times.

It feels like others don't understand why I am feeling so down.

To me, It feels like I am treated differently because reaction to events causes a profound intense pain that others can't understand.

I am not seen as ill but emotionally unstable. They seem to think I lose control and become weak on purpose. Some how my thoughts are to blame, even though my body reacted before a thought arose.

I spend so much time and effort trying to repair but never get anywhere for long.

I am trapped with a major problem that has no end to it. The pain is too much.

You do have the right to feel this pain, even if others don’t understand - it’s because they’re not experiencing it. Doesn’t mean you’re mentally unstable, but when you’re going through those intense reactions you describe, you’re dysregulating - there are ways to ground and help yourself through it, though. Trauma also does change a person in some pretty strange ways, sometimes!

I’m not sure what you’ve tried, but I watch a YouTube channel called Crappy Childhood Fairy who posts helpful C-PTSD videos on just about every related topic you can imagine. I am in therapy for different reasons than PTSD, but being in therapy is how I found out I have it, too. So, I’m not sure what PTSD is like for you, but there is support available here and we know you’re not ‘crazy’. You deserve to feel better and heal!

These might help:
MoodCafe | Emotional dysregulation and managing your emotions
https://www.youtube.com/results?sear...+fairy+youtube

So Sorry that things are being hard. i agree with the wise and wonderful RoxanneToto about you having every right to experience your pain as well as any other emotions. You are simply struggling and there's nothing to be ashamed of in my opinion at least. Are you currently seeking any Help? A therapist or any other professional whom may Help you? Please do not give up. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Thirty shades, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I have sort help but in the UK our services are not very good. I paid for private but even she said that my trauma is too deep to solve.

Most of the time I manage well but suffer when I am triggered with multiple emotions and there is no support or way out. Mainly I like to sit in my hole for a while.

I appreciate your replies and link RoxanneToto and MickeyCheeky.

I am not able to control my environment and someone who is commiting a crime in it and the police are useless. No end in sight. Life is difficult.

Indeed, and I’m very sorry to hear that. It’s understandable that you find life difficult under the circumstances you describe.

I'm sending hugs, love and respect

Thank you dear Thirty shades for being respectful, wise and true and for comprehending what these mean.... I'm grrrr at the idiot(s) in your life.

We do indeed have a right to feel our pain. What is so hard to understand about that? Which part of it do they fail to comprehend?

Thank you for being here dear Fuzzybear with your wisdom, respect and kindness for all.

We don't really have a choice but to feel the pain. It is not something we can escape. They seem to expect us to be able to function normally. It's like they think we choose to be this way.

Sending hugs and respect to all those who feel in pain.

Hugs and respect to you dear Thirty shades

Good post. Thank you for always being wise and kind

We do NOT ''choose'' to experience things this way

Hugs and respect to all

That post was validating to me like it's rare for me to find something that validating. That's the case even though I've already made a lot of effort with moving on from the cPTSD pain and stuff. I don't even want to think of any of it anymore. But your post was still incredibly validating.

And you know why it was validating? I recently was made to feel like I was wrong for not having removed all my cPTSD leftovers yet. And I did not respond fast enough to defend myself emotionally about it. I did later though. Btw I was told this even though the person herself had PTSD, she claimed she didn't like PTSD "filters" of people with PTSD, to me it just sounded like she tried to be in denial and blaming others for it. It's just really ironic.

So yeah, it's true that you can't expect most people to understand, even some people who have (c)PTSD themselves.

So anyway... you say in your post that "Some how my thoughts are to blame, even though my body reacted before a thought arose." I totally agree, and that's where you validated me. To heal from cPTSD, we of course want to change our thoughts too as part of the process but the reason for the trauma is not our thoughts. The reason is simply life. It just simply happens sometimes. And when you have a reaction, it's not because you have the "wrong thinking" or "wrong filter" (omg), but because of how life is, and how you have to / are trying to deal with life, the life that included trauma for you I mean. It's very much tangible, not just imagined thoughts. Yes, it's in our body and in reality, not just in our mind. It's all real.


The good news is that we have resilience to deal with life and its traumas and so you hopefully will eventually heal more. I wish you all the good luck!!

I understand how you feel.

Sometimes I feel people think it's okay for them to be human, but when we show our humanity and it somehow inconveniences them, suddenly we are a problem, overreacting, unstable, too sensitive, etc.

We are allowed to feel grief and anger about things we have experienced that deeply wounded or impacted us in some way. We are only human. It's okay to have a human response. It's okay to have reactions and emotions.

I used to let people influence me with their opinions about me. Now I say, "Try walking a day in my shoes. Step into my body and experience my memories, pain, and feelings. Feel what it is to be in a body with chronic pain and fatigue. Then tell me how you feel. Only until you do so, will you ever know and ever have a right to say anything about me and how I experience life."

There are a few songs I love that have helped me cope with this:

You Don't Know How It Feels - Tom Petty
Fearless - The Goo Goo Dolls
My Life - Billy Joel

I was shamed to feel my feeling :sadhug: by my own parent and sibling :hug: :grouphug: so I went emotionally numb but shutting down my emotions that are now causing physical health problems.

Sorry to hear, sending you lots of love

I am As Is….

Pain is part of me…

Good post dear Thirty shades