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Default May 12, 2021 at 06:59 PM
  #1
I'm in an awful rut for way too long. I don't feel depressed, emotionally. Then, again, I was just crying for a few minutes. I had read on facebook about today being the anniversary of a relative who died. I got over that. I'm not really sad. The trouble is I'm still in my nightgown and in bed. It's after 5 p.m. I got up for breakfast and lunch. Just didn't stay up.

I'm watching birds coming to the bird feeder outside my bedroom window. That's all I want to do - sit up in bed and watch the birds.

A year ago, I was busy caring for my boyfriend who was sick and near the end of his life. He's gone. I got over the initial, severe pain of losing him. I'm not paralyzed with grief. Time heals. However, I just don't have any energy to even get dressed. I would call this depression, I guess.

My bedroom window is nice to look out of. I can see sky, mountain tops, rose bushes and birds. They sound sweet, chirping on and off. I'm comfortable here. I don't want to move.

My apartment is very messy. If anyone came by and looked in, they'ld think there was something mentally wrong with me. There is.

I'ld feel a lot better, if I picked up my house and tidied things up. I don't know where to start. I know it doesn't matter where I start. I could start anywhere. I could spin a bottle and start where it points.

I've been very isolated for months . . . since just after Christmas. Now I like it that way. I hate the thought of having to talk to anyone. Too much work. I avoid answering the phone. I resist stepping outside the front door because some neighbor might walk by and try to talk with me. I talk to myself all day . . . sometime out loud. What is wrong with me?

I will appreciate anyone leaving even a brief comment on this thread. I've withdrawn into a world of my own inside my own head. I'm getting stuck in here. I want to get out of my head, clean up my apartment, put some clothes on and live more normal. But I'm stuck in here.

Getting unstuck might sound like a simple choice I just have to make. But this is going on day after day after day. Every night I tell myself I will do better tomorrow. Every day turns out the same. I go from bed to couch to recliner to bed.

Were any of you ever "stuck" like this? Anyone who's been depressed can probably recognize some of this behavior. I'm worried that I'll never pull out of this. Even if I do, I worry I'll just relapse back into it. That's been happening since after Christmas.

Any encouraging words that anyone can think of might help. I feel cut off from the human race. I know this is a dreary story.
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Default May 12, 2021 at 08:15 PM
  #2
Bertrand Russell and many other philosophers thought we relied too much on busyness. I have been in a similar state as you for a much longer time. I consider myself to be healing. A sort of second adolescence. We change completely from 13 to 19. My changing time will be from 64 to 70.

I went out today to get my first covid vaccine. I havent been out since probably xmas, when i was having emergency dental work. I followed my familiar route - library, hairdresser, drugstore, then a crosstown hike back to the bus terminal. It felt good not to be the same person.
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Default May 12, 2021 at 09:21 PM
  #3
You’ve been through a lot, Rose, and you’re grieving, plus it’s a pandemic.

I’ve been so depressed where I don’t want to get out of bed, but I always have to eventually to take care of necessary things.

Sometimes a shower and putting on make up makes a world of difference for me, and actually makes me feel less depressed. But it takes a lifting of the depression to get to do that.

You are not alone. You know many of us who frequent here.

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Default May 12, 2021 at 11:14 PM
  #4
Thank you both for responding. Unaluna, we have a set ofparallels. We are age cohorts, and this is a time of transition, as you describe it, for me too. I feared that, if I'm not doing well now, I'll only be worse as I get older. That may be something I should not assume. I admire your hiking a familiar route.

Thanks, TishaBuv, for understanding that grief is a factor in my situation. I thought that I had weathered the worst of that. But I am now alone as I have not been for decades. Eleven months probably is not long enough to adjust to that. The makeup suggestion is not a bad idea. I stopped wearing makeup during the years I was constantly caregiving. I did just get a haircut for the first time since last July. With some makeup applied, I could actually look not half-bad. I'ld then feel more like a person. I'll have to try. Tomorrow I have to leave this apartment. It helps every time I do. I did just rejoin a neighborhood gym. Some time on the treadmill and smiling at some other members would do me no harm . . . maybe some real good.

Morning is my hardest time.
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Default May 13, 2021 at 05:55 AM
  #5
I woke up in the middle of the night, about 3:30 a.m. Can't go back to sleep. I feel very hopeless.
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Default May 13, 2021 at 09:03 AM
  #6
So Sorry for your Loss! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters in that it seems like you've been through a lot, and that the pandemic isn't Helping probably. i'd say just try to take things one step at the time although i recognize it can be hard. It seems like you're already aware of that and that is good i think. i Hope things will improve soon. i think that leaving your apartment for a bit may Help as well. Hugs. Sorry if my post isn't really useful. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Rose76, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Default May 13, 2021 at 04:26 PM
  #7
Thanks, MC. Today has been bad. I feel defeated. Yes - the past year has been a lot. COVID wrecked me having a normal progress through the stages of grief. As the pandemic lasted a d lasted, I got more and more terrified of catching it. I watched my boyfriend die of acute respiratory failure, which he fought against . . . and I fought against, hooking him up to 2 sources of oxygen during the last hour. He seemed conscious that he was being robbed of taking a good breath. That's a bad way to go. So I fear whatever my threaten my breathing. So I've isolated pretty severely. Today is the last day of that. But I think this just went on too long.

I didn't get out of the house today. I've done nothing, but wish I was done with this life. (No self-harm intended.) My chronic aches and soreness are particularly troubling today. Just spent 90 min. soaking in a hot tub for that. I just feel worse.

I have to go bring in the trash barrel from the street. I should have done that yesterday. I already took 2 pain pills today. If I take another now, I'll be robbing it from another day, which I'll regret.

Very bad spells don't last forever. I remind myself of that now. This miserableness will pass. It's been too long I've been so down.
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Default May 13, 2021 at 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
COVID wrecked me having a normal progress through the stages of grief.
Insightful. The situation may also be affecting the "natural" pattern of your depressive episodes.


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Default May 13, 2021 at 05:38 PM
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Insightful. The situation may also be affecting the "natural" pattern of your depressive episodes.

Yes, COVID, no doubt, affects and throws off a lot of familiar patterns. I have plenty of company in that regard. Lots of people have been more badly affected than I've been. I know mine aren't the worst problems, but I've gotten overwhelmed by them nonetheless.

This viral issue is winding down. I thought that would speed up me getting back on track. I feel like I ran out of gas and can't find a way to refuel. This is awful disappointing. It's like I'm getting to the bus stop just ten seconds too late. The bus has pulled out, and I can't catch up with it. I don't expect anyone in my real life to understand this. That's a lonely feeling.

I'm going to read some "success stories" in the forum for that. Maybe that will give me some hope. People do recover from being very down.
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Default May 13, 2021 at 08:43 PM
  #10
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
I'm in an awful rut for way too long. I don't feel depressed, emotionally. Then, again, I was just crying for a few minutes. I had read on facebook about today being the anniversary of a relative who died. I got over that. I'm not really sad. The trouble is I'm still in my nightgown and in bed. It's after 5 p.m. I got up for breakfast and lunch. Just didn't stay up.

I'm watching birds coming to the bird feeder outside my bedroom window. That's all I want to do - sit up in bed and watch the birds.

A year ago, I was busy caring for my boyfriend who was sick and near the end of his life. He's gone. I got over the initial, severe pain of losing him. I'm not paralyzed with grief. Time heals. However, I just don't have any energy to even get dressed. I would call this depression, I guess.

My bedroom window is nice to look out of. I can see sky, mountain tops, rose bushes and birds. They sound sweet, chirping on and off. I'm comfortable here. I don't want to move.

My apartment is very messy. If anyone came by and looked in, they'ld think there was something mentally wrong with me. There is.

I'ld feel a lot better, if I picked up my house and tidied things up. I don't know where to start. I know it doesn't matter where I start. I could start anywhere. I could spin a bottle and start where it points.

I've been very isolated for months . . . since just after Christmas. Now I like it that way. I hate the thought of having to talk to anyone. Too much work. I avoid answering the phone. I resist stepping outside the front door because some neighbor might walk by and try to talk with me. I talk to myself all day . . . sometime out loud. What is wrong with me?

I will appreciate anyone leaving even a brief comment on this thread. I've withdrawn into a world of my own inside my own head. I'm getting stuck in here. I want to get out of my head, clean up my apartment, put some clothes on and live more normal. But I'm stuck in here.

Getting unstuck might sound like a simple choice I just have to make. But this is going on day after day after day. Every night I tell myself I will do better tomorrow. Every day turns out the same. I go from bed to couch to recliner to bed.

Were any of you ever "stuck" like this? Anyone who's been depressed can probably recognize some of this behavior. I'm worried that I'll never pull out of this. Even if I do, I worry I'll just relapse back into it. That's been happening since after Christmas.

Any encouraging words that anyone can think of might help. I feel cut off from the human race. I know this is a dreary story.

Yes. I've had that. I'm still having a lot of it in fact. I'm gradually getting better like... it used to be literally painful to get dressed. I just kept doing it though, allowing myself some time to dress up gradually. I can dress up fast without a real problem now. (It can still feel like discomfort but nothing too bad.) I used to have to lie in bed for 3-4 hours before I could get up. Not just in the morning, during the day too, I would lie down then it would be hard to get up. I only need 30 minutes now before I can get up. Actually I maybe reduced that to 15 minutes yesterday. Well, 15 minutes getting to sit up at the side of the bed, and 15 minutes standing up then (reading some cr*p on the phone until then or thinking about the bad past etc).

It's just slow progress for me because I was stuck in it for very long before I started seeing the way to get out.
And I think that that is the one best advice I can give you. Do not allow yourself to stay stuck in it for long. The neural connections in your brain will start atrophying and it's painful to have to rebuild all of it. This isn't a joke. I am living it right now.

Also be prepared for how it'll be fluctuating... two steps forward, one back and the like...

Good luck!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Yes, COVID, no doubt, affects and throws off a lot of familiar patterns. I have plenty of company in that regard. Lots of people have been more badly affected than I've been. I know mine aren't the worst problems, but I've gotten overwhelmed by them nonetheless.

This viral issue is winding down. I thought that would speed up me getting back on track. I feel like I ran out of gas and can't find a way to refuel. This is awful disappointing. It's like I'm getting to the bus stop just ten seconds too late. The bus has pulled out, and I can't catch up with it. I don't expect anyone in my real life to understand this. That's a lonely feeling.

I'm going to read some "success stories" in the forum for that. Maybe that will give me some hope. People do recover from being very down.

Yes, yes. It feels like you've run out of gas and can't find that fuel again. That is why it's a gradual process. Try and catch a moment when you don't feel so bad/low/fatigued and then try and make a little step then. Until it tires you out then rest and try again. That's what I've been doing. Both mentally and physically.



PS: Weirdly enough I relate to you also in that I do not emotionally feel depressed usually. I'm just shut down, and low energy and rut and all that. Maybe that is the consequence of the issues causing this problem eventually. I got very drained in my life and then I had a sudden emotional impact (trauma experience, having to lose a relationship being traumatic) and then I got to this point.

PS2: Oh I again found something where I relate to you strongly... That world in your head that you are stuck in. YES. SAME. (Even before cPTSD trauma it was like that.) I am gradually leaving it and I've worked on that a lot but I'm not totally out of the woods. I'm finding out what bad mental (and sometimes physical) habits I have that keep me stuck there. Even though I also found that being in my mind like that allowed me to process the past where I really needed to learn from it. It was just overdone and not regulated because I had no way to learn more easily for a while. Maybe that part is just me though. So my suggestion is, find the mental and physical habits that contribute to keeping you stuck in your head in that little world. And gradually get rid of them, train yourself out of them and find better habits.

One mental habit would be finding positive thoughts. Especially positivity about why you want to be back to your normal life. Yeah, I know, hard, very hard initially.

Physical habits of course are important otherwise too, for retraining your energy level - and through that, your mood - and getting out of the whole rut. A really typical example of such a physical habit is: don't allow yourself to go lie down in bed after you got up. I worked on that too and I got really good at that one by now.

Last edited by Alive99; May 13, 2021 at 09:14 PM..
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Default May 13, 2021 at 08:47 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I’ve been so depressed where I don’t want to get out of bed, but I always have to eventually to take care of necessary things.

Sometimes a shower and putting on make up makes a world of difference for me, and actually makes me feel less depressed. But it takes a lifting of the depression to get to do that.
Yeah...I'm curious, have you ever had the issue where you only felt better for a short time before it started to feel like it required too much energy of you to keep feeling "up" / energetic, etc etc? Because I had that issue even with the most basic things like dressing up. It lifting me up quickly started to feel bad for me. Tiring, or just unpleasant how much "extra" energy it required... idk. I'm past that issue for dressing up, thank god. But I'm not past it for many other things yet. Especially with work (remote work). Ugh. It's a big problem for me.

It's like I keep myself "understimulated" for pretty long every day and then getting and then remaining "stimulated" (in fact, just a normal energy level) feels too hard. I've told myself to try and not let myself fall back into the "understimulated" depressive stuff after breakfast, but I somehow don't seem to be able to manage that yet. (Getting dressed up, hygiene routine, breakfast - these keep me "stimulated"/allow me a normal energy level in a way I am decently used to now, but I can't make that jump from there after breakfast, to go start work and I instead fall back for a long time)


I don't know if this is relevant to OP because I think this only gets this bad - trouble maintaining the good, stimulated mood/energy level rather than enjoying it - if you've had dysthymia/depression for long enough. Plus I've had cPTSD (after letting myself being sucked dry by a couple of vampires, too) and that may affect it too. But I wonder if any of you relate. If it's okay to ask here. Maybe it helps OP too even if she only has a milder (?) version of this.

Last edited by Alive99; May 13, 2021 at 09:11 PM..
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Default May 14, 2021 at 03:29 AM
  #12
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
I'm watching birds coming to the bird feeder outside my bedroom window. That's all I want to do - sit up in bed and watch the birds.

A year ago, I was busy caring for my boyfriend who was sick and near the end of his life. He's gone. I got over the initial, severe pain of losing him. I'm not paralyzed with grief. Time heals. However, I just don't have any energy to even get dressed. I would call this depression, I guess.

My bedroom window is nice to look out of. I can see sky, mountain tops, rose bushes and birds. They sound sweet, chirping on and off. I'm comfortable here. I don't want to move.

My apartment is very messy.
I am sorry you are still struggling Rose. Are you being treated for depression? I am on low doses of two different antidepressants and I occasionally skip one of them because it give me gas, makes me nauseated, makes people gain weight, etc. but when I do, I do notice my depression rearing its ugly head so I go back on it. For me, the medications do help. Also, I have had times in my life where I was on percocet or acetaminophen and oxycodone and when I first go on it--it makes me feel good but when I am on it for too long, it pushes me into depression. Having had that experience with it, I can't help but wonder if your pain killer is contributing to your depression. I am sorry you struggle with this medication.

One of my favorite things about walking is all the birds I see. My favorite ones are a pair of swallow tailed kites--there flying is so smooth. I would recommend trying to force yourself to walk. Even as a child, I noticed that walking in nature made me feel happier. Are you able to walk?

There are parts of my home that are very messy and I should vacuum more than I do (but the vacuuming and dusting does make my allergies really bad). You are not alone in this.

Last edited by TunedOut; May 14, 2021 at 05:23 AM..
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Default May 14, 2021 at 07:09 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by Alive99 View Post
Yeah...I'm curious, have you ever had the issue where you only felt better for a short time before it started to feel like it required too much energy of you to keep feeling "up" / energetic, etc etc? Because I had that issue even with the most basic things like dressing up. It lifting me up quickly started to feel bad for me. Tiring, or just unpleasant how much "extra" energy it required... idk. I'm past that issue for dressing up, thank god. But I'm not past it for many other things yet. Especially with work (remote work). Ugh. It's a big problem for me.

It's like I keep myself "understimulated" for pretty long every day and then getting and then remaining "stimulated" (in fact, just a normal energy level) feels too hard. I've told myself to try and not let myself fall back into the "understimulated" depressive stuff after breakfast, but I somehow don't seem to be able to manage that yet. (Getting dressed up, hygiene routine, breakfast - these keep me "stimulated"/allow me a normal energy level in a way I am decently used to now, but I can't make that jump from there after breakfast, to go start work and I instead fall back for a long time)


I don't know if this is relevant to OP because I think this only gets this bad - trouble maintaining the good, stimulated mood/energy level rather than enjoying it - if you've had dysthymia/depression for long enough. Plus I've had cPTSD (after letting myself being sucked dry by a couple of vampires, too) and that may affect it too. But I wonder if any of you relate. If it's okay to ask here. Maybe it helps OP too even if she only has a milder (?) version of this.
I’ve spend years participating in these forums. Many people talk about their depression being something they just feel, not cause from any specific issue, and they don’t feel like showering, cleaning, etc… They are so depressed they are not functioning normal daily activities.

My experience is different. I am depressed from a relationship situation. Without that trigger, I am a functional, happy person. No matter how down my situation makes me, I always take care of daily necessities. No one else will do it! It’s my job to cook, clean, care for kids (who are all grown now), etc… I am always wanting to do some activity and distraction, I’d love for someone to suggest it and lift me out of the funk! It’s usually me that lifts myself, and lifts everyone else too.

I was diagnosed with unspecified mood disorder. That may mean Major Depressive Disorder or it could mean Bipolar, according to my research about what the diagnosis means. I had to research it myself because the doctors won’t even explain it to me. I only saw the diagnosis because the doctor showed me my chart and there it was, which I noticed, and when I asked him what it means, he wouldn’t even explain. As you can see, I am totally frustrated with the doctors and don’t see them anymore.

Long story short, I haven’t felt I look good over the past couple years. This disparaging relationship and some trauma with a few other ones, has me feeling so down, I don’t care to dress and wear make up or go anywhere, plus, it’s been a pandemic, so no where to go anyway. I have always bathed and cleaned though. Not a great keeper of the home, but adequate.

But, lately, when I have had the up feelings enough to go the extra step to dress nice and spruce up a little, I have felt I look much better and it makes me feel better for that day.

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Default May 14, 2021 at 08:32 AM
  #14
@Rose76, i Hope you're feeling a bti Better today. Like you've Wonderfully said, bad things don't last forever!
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Default May 14, 2021 at 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Alive99 View Post
Yes. I've had that. I'm still having a lot of it in fact. I'm gradually getting better like... it used to be literally painful to get dressed. I just kept doing it though, allowing myself some time to dress up gradually. I can dress up fast without a real problem now. (It can still feel like discomfort but nothing too bad.) I used to have to lie in bed for 3-4 hours before I could get up. Not just in the morning, during the day too, I would lie down then it would be hard to get up. I only need 30 minutes now before I can get up. Actually I maybe reduced that to 15 minutes yesterday. Well, 15 minutes getting to sit up at the side of the bed, and 15 minutes standing up then (reading some cr*p on the phone until then or thinking about the bad past etc).

It's just slow progress for me because I was stuck in it for very long before I started seeing the way to get out.
And I think that that is the one best advice I can give you. Do not allow yourself to stay stuck in it for long. The neural connections in your brain will start atrophying and it's painful to have to rebuild all of it. This isn't a joke. I am living it right now.

Also be prepared for how it'll be fluctuating... two steps forward, one back and the like...

Good luck!





Yes, yes. It feels like you've run out of gas and can't find that fuel again. That is why it's a gradual process. Try and catch a moment when you don't feel so bad/low/fatigued and then try and make a little step then. Until it tires you out then rest and try again. That's what I've been doing. Both mentally and physically.



PS: Weirdly enough I relate to you also in that I do not emotionally feel depressed usually. I'm just shut down, and low energy and rut and all that. Maybe that is the consequence of the issues causing this problem eventually. I got very drained in my life and then I had a sudden emotional impact (trauma experience, having to lose a relationship being traumatic) and then I got to this point.

PS2: Oh I again found something where I relate to you strongly... That world in your head that you are stuck in. YES. SAME. (Even before cPTSD trauma it was like that.) I am gradually leaving it and I've worked on that a lot but I'm not totally out of the woods. I'm finding out what bad mental (and sometimes physical) habits I have that keep me stuck there. Even though I also found that being in my mind like that allowed me to process the past where I really needed to learn from it. It was just overdone and not regulated because I had no way to learn more easily for a while. Maybe that part is just me though. So my suggestion is, find the mental and physical habits that contribute to keeping you stuck in your head in that little world. And gradually get rid of them, train yourself out of them and find better habits.

One mental habit would be finding positive thoughts. Especially positivity about why you want to be back to your normal life. Yeah, I know, hard, very hard initially.

Physical habits of course are important otherwise too, for retraining your energy level - and through that, your mood - and getting out of the whole rut. A really typical example of such a physical habit is: don't allow yourself to go lie down in bed after you got up. I worked on that too and I got really good at that one by now.
This sounds exactly like me. I congratulate you on your hard won progress. I have to put in effort, or I'll remain defeated. Thanks for understanding. You're a good role model. I'm finding mornings the toughest. What you've overcome is admirable.
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Default May 14, 2021 at 09:28 AM
  #16
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Yeah...I'm curious, have you ever had the issue where you only felt better for a short time before it started to feel like it required too much energy of you to keep feeling "up" / energetic, etc etc? Because I had that issue even with the most basic things like dressing up. It lifting me up quickly started to feel bad for me. Tiring, or just unpleasant how much "extra" energy it required... idk. I'm past that issue for dressing up, thank god. But I'm not past it for many other things yet. Especially with work (remote work). Ugh. It's a big problem for me.

It's like I keep myself "understimulated" for pretty long every day and then getting and then remaining "stimulated" (in fact, just a normal energy level) feels too hard. I've told myself to try and not let myself fall back into the "understimulated" depressive stuff after breakfast, but I somehow don't seem to be able to manage that yet. (Getting dressed up, hygiene routine, breakfast - these keep me "stimulated"/allow me a normal energy level in a way I am decently used to now, but I can't make that jump from there after breakfast, to go start work and I instead fall back for a long time)


I don't know if this is relevant to OP because I think this only gets this bad - trouble maintaining the good, stimulated mood/energy level rather than enjoying it - if you've had dysthymia/depression for long enough. Plus I've had cPTSD (after letting myself being sucked dry by a couple of vampires, too) and that may affect it too. But I wonder if any of you relate. If it's okay to ask here. Maybe it helps OP too even if she only has a milder (?) version of this.
Yes, I've had that issue. I manage to get going. Then it doesn't last. Like, I'll spend 5 minutes doing dishes. Then I go rest for awhile. Then I'm back at the sink for a few minutes . . . and have to go rest again. I'm sore with body aches. That makes me tired.

It's hard to stay interested, once I start something.
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Default May 14, 2021 at 09:34 AM
  #17
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I am sorry you are still struggling Rose. Are you being treated for depression? I am on low doses of two different antidepressants and I occasionally skip one of them because it give me gas, makes me nauseated, makes people gain weight, etc. but when I do, I do notice my depression rearing its ugly head so I go back on it. For me, the medications do help. Also, I have had times in my life where I was on percocet or acetaminophen and oxycodone and when I first go on it--it makes me feel good but when I am on it for too long, it pushes me into depression. Having had that experience with it, I can't help but wonder if your pain killer is contributing to your depression. I am sorry you struggle with this medication.

One of my favorite things about walking is all the birds I see. My favorite ones are a pair of swallow tailed kites--there flying is so smooth. I would recommend trying to force yourself to walk. Even as a child, I noticed that walking in nature made me feel happier. Are you able to walk?

There are parts of my home that are very messy and I should vacuum more than I do (but the vacuuming and dusting does make my allergies really bad). You are not alone in this.
I take an antidepressant - amitriptyline. I'ld be much worse without it. I also take hydrocodone with acetaminophen 10/325. That helps too. (I get 60 tabs per month.) I'ld like to get areas of the apartment straightened up. This is what I did last fall. Now there isn't one clean zone in the place.
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Default May 14, 2021 at 02:05 PM
  #18
I haven't read all the replies, but I'm thinking because I also have had amitriptyline for years and oxycodone for the past year for arthritic pain. I seemed better for a while with the pain med, but it doesn't do much for me now.

I looked online months ago, and it suggests that we actually feel more pain, or have lower tolerance for pain because of the opioid. I only get 2 5/325 a day. I know I should wean off of it, because I told my doctor that it also helped my depression (I was caregiving for my dad and he recently passed.)

My doctor is honest, he won't raise my dose even though my pain is worse. He told me though that it sure would be good if I could take it as an antidepressant... sadly that's not what it's used for.

I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe a change would help? That's what I'm thinking of doing for myself.

Last edited by CANDC; May 14, 2021 at 06:19 PM.. Reason: Remove suggestion of med
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Default May 14, 2021 at 02:56 PM
  #19
Have you ever tried putting on music and attempting clean up in one small area?

Maybe this can give you inspiration.
Gene Kelly dancing with a mop! Gene Kelly and a Mop - YouTube

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Default May 14, 2021 at 03:42 PM
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This sounds exactly like me. I congratulate you on your hard won progress. I have to put in effort, or I'll remain defeated. Thanks for understanding. You're a good role model. I'm finding mornings the toughest. What you've overcome is admirable.

Thank you! I'm still overcoming it, it takes time. But yes, never give up. I congratulate you too for posting on here seeking solutions. Keep posting too if you feel it helps with going on.

If you have any questions, I can try and answer.


And yes, mornings are often the hardest for depression.



Quote:
Yes, I've had that issue. I manage to get going. Then it doesn't last. Like, I'll spend 5 minutes doing dishes. Then I go rest for awhile. Then I'm back at the sink for a few minutes . . . and have to go rest again. I'm sore with body aches. That makes me tired.

It's hard to stay interested, once I start something.

Yes it's hard. Every minute you keep at this will take you further in the long run.
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