[Jensitive22]

Same depression, different year.
I’ve lost perspective. I feel like I’m dressed in it, swimming in it, breathing it. There is not enough room to move past it. It’s like I’m in a trench filled with it, and the only way forward is through it. Six years and I don’t see an end to it.
I am on medication for it; it has been tweaked and changed many times. My therapist moved and then the COVID pandemic put finding a new one on hold.
Every day is the same routine, there is security and safety in it, but I also feel trapped in it, like a bug in amber, as time moves past.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry you're struggling! Please do not give up! Are you currently trying to find out a new therapist? Perhaps that may Help a bit. Changing up your routine a bit may also Help perhaps. Try to do something a little different every day if possible. Take care of yourself and your own Health. Do you have a support system in Real Life? Hugs. i Hope you will find us Helpful. Please do keep us updated if you want to. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Jensitive22, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[leomama]

I can relate and I don’t have a career, just a job, or a spouse, just an ex. I’m sorry you’re medication isn’t helping.

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[Jensitive22]

Thank you for your kind words, suggestions and kind words ❤️
Support system? Not really. My husband loves me, but he is not able to understand it. Much of his thinking and perception is centered around him and how it affects him. It’s just who he is. He needs lots of attention, validation and reassurance. Cooking for me and looking for ways to make my physical life easier is about as deep as he goes, and I appreciate that. My children have there own lives and families, and I don’t want to burden them. Sooo much of what I think and feel is internalized. I binge on Netflix. I like to watch the European series with English subtitles because it keeps me fully engaged and out of my head. I also nap. I string it all together with daily chore routines and that is my day, week, year.

[Alive99]

Originally Posted by Jensitive22

Thank you for your kind words, suggestions and kind words ❤️
Support system? Not really. My husband loves me, but he is not able to understand it. Much of his thinking and perception is centered around him and how it affects him. It’s just who he is. He needs lots of attention, validation and reassurance. Cooking for me and looking for ways to make my physical life easier is about as deep as he goes, and I appreciate that. My children have there own lives and families, and I don’t want to burden them. Sooo much of what I think and feel is internalized. I binge on Netflix. I like to watch the European series with English subtitles because it keeps me fully engaged and out of my head. I also nap. I string it all together with daily chore routines and that is my day, week, year.

If you don't mind me chiming in - as I noticed one thing in your post. I doubt that binging on Netflix is really an activity that keeps anyone engaged. I personally feel it's very passive and draining and depressive, compared to doing other things. Watching 1-1 video here and there is fun and then sometimes a movie marathon for an evening is fun too, but regularly binging on it is what has that depressive effect, I mean. Maybe you could try some sport instead, some sport that you like doing? It could help with mood a lot. And it engages and keeps you out of your head way better than watching videos. Hope this helps a bit and that you find a way to feel better overall anyway.