the thoughts

what keeps you going in the face of all the pain, physical / mental or other ???

The belief that I'm slowly healing ???

That I remember how it was before my hidden trauma at age 18 ???

And that I want to be back to that ???

When I'm low as f**** then if I can pick up a moment where I feel like I got a new insight towards healing like that I instantly feel hope and feel better a bit


How about you?

Routine is very important to me. (I'm not employed. So I don't have that to deal with.) And around home I pretty-much do the the same things in the same order most days. If I get off track for some reason I start to get confused & it takes a bit of time for me to get back on track. Often I don't feel (either physically or mentally) like doing anything. But I have my routine. And I just make myself do what needs to be done.

What is part of your routine if you don't mind me asking?

That is a deep question i think so. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about keeping a certain routine and having Hope that things will get better. i think that Helps a bit to cope with certain difficult moments at least for me then. i Hope you will be able to find something that helps you too as Well if you need it. Try to focus on the things that make you Happy. i Hope you're also getting treatment if you can afford it. Just try to do the best you can each day. Hopefully things will Improve for everyone soon. Sending Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @jrae, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I agree that keep a routine is important. In addition, I think about my students and what will happen if I suddenly don't show up. If everything fails, I think of my nephew and how his perspective in life would change if he sees how badly I end up with this illness.

@Alive99 Thanks for asking! Well... first-off (after making the bed) is breakfast (I eat pretty-much the same thing every morning: cereal with fruit... followed by tea while I listen to some soft relaxing music. Then I get cleaned up (including a shower) every day. I have a pretty extensive clean-up routine. I won't go into all of the particulars. But it takes a while. My personal grooming routine has actually become something of a grounding technique for me. Also, as a part of this, I spend the better part of an hour thoroughly drying the large walk-in shower we use. (It was put in by the previous owners.) Once the bathroom is in order & I've completed my personal grooming routine it's time to give our dog her daily comb-out following which she gets a "Greenie" for her teeth and breath.

By this time it's about noon. (I don't eat lunch.) And at this point I'll typically spend some time on the internet. Occasionally there's an errand to run or an appointment of some sort to show up for. (Once in a while I indulge myself by taking a nap but not too often.) Then there's dinner to prepare & eat and dishes to wash, dry & put away. The dog also goes for her third walk of the day either before or after dinner just depending on the circumstances. (My wife takes her for her first 2 daily walks while I take care of things around the house.) During the evenings we've recently gotten into the habit of watching free movies on YouTube because TV programming here nowadays is (in our humble opinions) mostly trash. Once the movie's over it's time for me to brush my teeth again. And then our dog gets her fourth & final (before-bed) walk of the day.

So that's pretty-much the daily routine. Then there are a couple of weekly things as well. Every Wednesday I sweep out the garage. And every Sunday is housecleaning day. Of course there are other incidentals that get added in as needed including such things as laundry. Also I'm a home bread baker. So fairly regularly I'm working on mixing up or baking a loaf of bread as well.

So that's pretty-much it. Hope reading about all of that is of benefit in some way.

Thanks for the detailed answer.

Sounds like fun with the dog.

Do you mind me asking, why are you not employed?

My current/main problem is that I'm trying to keep up with work and I don't get time for anything else because of trying so hard. Movie watching? ehh... Cleaning up the bathroom? Eh, easier than movie watching but I don't have time for it every day for sure lol. And the routine keeps getting killed when there is enough chaos from trying to keep up this part time work.

The worst part of that is that my sports training also goes down the drain. Even if I made myself go, the stress means I would get injured or otherwise be affected in a bad way by trying to exercise while there's the extreme stress

Tbh even if I didn't have work to do....it'd take a while to figure out what the hell I want to do then. (Other than sports training&racing, I ALWAYS know I want to do that lol) Well I do actually know what I want to do....I know very concretely too. I just feel like most of the time I forget lol