Shame spiral

I’m really going through a shame spiral after today’s therapy session. It was about 12 hours ago and I’m just now starting to get out of the downward spiral.

Basically me and my therapist had a discussion about my job search and how I feel it’s going badly. We talked through it a little and she came to the conclusion that I wasn’t showing up prepared enough and wants me to do some research about how to interview (which I’m willing to do). But honestly, it hurt to hear someone else confirm my fears about myself. My brain jumps to “I’m not hard working enough”, “I’m lazy”, “I don’t have the skills”, “why would anyone want someone like that as an employee?”. She didn’t say any of those things but that’s what it spiraled into in my mind. I’m trying to remember that none of that is true but it’s hard and it shook my confidence.

I’m considering saying that I no longer want to talk about my job search in therapy. If I do want to talk about it, it’ll be somewhere else. I don’t know if therapy is the right place for me to work on this when I would rather work on my internal struggles and not the specific actions that I’m doing wrong, because that paralyzes me.

I know how that feels. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't usually tell my doctor everything either. If it's going to make me feel bad, I prefer not to say it. I'm not recommending that, though. Just saying that I understand. The important thing is that you know what to work on.

I don't tell the ''professional'' much at all these days. I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with the post above. Hugs and respect to you

I have also found in therapy that talking about specific (and mostly ''trivial'') external things I was doing ''wrong'' to not be at all helpful. I went into therapy to talk about my internal struggles (not to beat myself up as a ''failure'' or to confirm other negative thoughts).. sorry about the rant. I don't know if this is relevant or not. I just wanted to reply as I can relate (and it's so quiet in this particular forum, it is not how it used to be sometimes) I am now going back to my rock. Thank you for allowing me to post in this thread.

I also think that the important thing is that you know what to work on (some therapists are more intuitive than others, needless to say I have not found one who is intuitive or even accurate )