Would you want to know?

East17 · Jul 21, 2021 at 10:13 AM

If someone you knew was planning to end their life, but hadn't told you how or when, would you want them to send you a scheduled email after the event?

Would it help you with closure, knowing one way or the other, or would it just make you feel bad because you couldn't help them?

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MickeyCheeky · 10:49 AM

i suppose it would be Better than nothing, but i don't think it would do Much to Alleviate the pain from the Loss. i Hope you guys are being Safe right now. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @East17, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Fuzzybear · Jul 21, 2021 at 11:55 AM

I think it would make me feel bad because I couldn't help them.

Jul 21, 2021 at 03:52 PM

I know when my friend beth took her life, i think it would have helped me- knowing what was going through her mind at the time, was she on her own?. did something happen to trigger her?

all I was told was sketchy details.. she was found, she took her life at such and such a time, nothing really more.

I still miss her now.. maybe if I knew why, I wouldn't so much?. I don't know

puzzclar · Jul 23, 2021 at 07:33 AM

I'd someone planned it all out and sent it to me, I'd hope I got the plan before anything happened. Reaching out before one wants to plan, and finding support would help.

I've felt like planning was the best option. And in some cases the only option. Then I found I was putting a big limit on my life, and I had to take action and stop relying on things that didn't work. Instead, choosing my life's actions helped even more than planning the last bit of time.

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WastingAsparagus · Jul 23, 2021 at 07:51 AM

It's hard to say.

What I'd rather is that the person send me an email, text, call or whatever BEFORE they're planning on doing anything to see how I can help them get OUT of that state.

mssweatypalms · Jul 25, 2021 at 05:34 AM

It would probably make me feel bad that I wasn't able to do anything to stop the person from ending their life. However, knowing it beforehand and still not being able to do something would make me feel guilty as well.

RoxanneToto · Jul 25, 2021 at 07:09 AM

I’m on the fence - I’d very much prefer to find out beforehand, of course, so an intervention could potentially happen, but otherwise, having a note would maybe help the people left behind make some sense out of what happened. There will always be a “why,” because getting help is nearly always an option (even if it’s just in theory, depending on the person and their circumstances), and people don’t necessarily give obvious signals that they want to end their life.

TishaBuv · Jul 25, 2021 at 07:34 AM

It sounds like the recipient of this email is important enough to the suicidal person that they would have a reason to live for. Would this person already know the suicidal person was already going to do it and why before the event? If so, they don’t need an email. So, I would be very angry if I got an explanation after an event and never given the opportunity to discuss with the person before their actions.

Jul 25, 2021 at 08:38 AM

As someone who has recently created these letters to my people, I wanted to thank everyone for giving me some things to think about.

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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jul 21, 2021 at 11:55 AM #3 I think it would make me feel bad because I couldn't help them. __________________
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,657 10 2,911 hugs given	Jul 23, 2021 at 07:51 AM #6 It's hard to say. What I'd rather is that the person send me an email, text, call or whatever BEFORE they're planning on doing anything to see how I can help them get OUT of that state. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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mssweatypalms Member Member Since May 2021 Location: middle of nowhere Posts: 242 2 476 hugs given	Jul 25, 2021 at 05:34 AM #7 It would probably make me feel bad that I wasn't able to do anything to stop the person from ending their life. However, knowing it beforehand and still not being able to do something would make me feel guilty as well. __________________ “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard
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Anonymous40506 Guest Posts: n/a	Jul 25, 2021 at 08:38 AM #10 As someone who has recently created these letters to my people, I wanted to thank everyone for giving me some things to think about.
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