[will19]

I cancelled my trip early this morning. I can't believe I did that! I went to bed last night and didn't sleep. I didn't feel easy about going on that trip. I have mixed emotions. I feel a sense of relief but at the same time I feel bad about myself for cancelling out. I guess it's for the best for me. I feel heartbroken right now.

[Deilla]

Today I feel terrible. I slept most of the day. I woke at 5 pm to fix food and wash dishes. Now I'm ready to go back to bed.

[will19]

I'm feeling better this morning than I did yesterday. I got a much better night's sleep last night than the night before so I think it helped. Yesterday I was "weepy" throughout the whole day, feeling terrible about cancelling my trip. There were even some tears out of my eyes when I went bike riding. Yesterday, while I was preparing and having dinner, I was listening to an album by Ludovico Einaudi and it seemed to have hit the spot. I normally would have been listening to "rockin'" music, but I was so depressed at that time.

Today is starting off OK even though it's early. I hope this will be a good day. I'm still reeling from cancelling the trip yesterday a little bit. Oh, and by the way, I will be getting a full refund from the airline and a partial refund from a pre-payment with the car rental. So not much of a loss with this cancellation.

[Deilla]

I feel much better today. I got dressed and went on a drive. It was pleasant out. A little chilly. But nice and sunny. I played my game for a while, and now I'm getting ready to watch some concerts.

[cinnamonsun]

Another day where I've woken up with a headache and feel utterly exhausted. I'm looking forward to my first day of therapy tomorrow. I truly believe I'm dealing with clinical depression and need a lot of help.

[will19]

I'm feeling so-so to depressed today so far. I did some light shopping this morning and went to the bank. When I got to the teller at the bank, she asked me how my trip went. I had forgotten that last Friday, I went to the bank and had that teller at that time. For some reason, I didn't recognize her. I told her this morning that my trip was cancelled. I felt bad answering to what happened.

I have a half a day to go yet and it's just the usual coming up later on. Nothing exciting.

[Breaking Dawn]

This is the right place to report my ups & downs these days. I keep going upward & feeling better, feeling hope, & then down I go. This particular moment hurts a lot, but I know I will start feeling better in a while.

[Mountaindewed]

Yeah the depression is there today. I don’t know how many times I’ve listened to the songs Halls by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness and Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus because they are so relatable to how I’ve been feeling. I fall asleep with them every night. I even have a flavor that describes this feeling. Mint. I know it’s kinda a strange flavor but every time I eat or drink mint flavored stuff I remember her. I also have a type of tea too. I drank 3 mugs of it today. I wanted to get rid of the box though too.

If I just gave up these 2 songs and 4 foods I think things would be better. But at the same time I can’t tell if maybe these things are helping me cope as well. I need to talk about it in the morning.

I just took 160 mil of Geodon and 20 mil of melatonin and I used my sleep lotion. So I’m hoping to just pass out until the morning.

[Rose76]

l've been doing pretty okay for the past few weeks.

[hvert]

My husband has been sending me house ads all morning. It's stressing me out. He wants to look at them. Part of me wants to move, part of me doesn't. The real estate market here is just nuts and I am not sure I want to deal with it.

[Deilla]

I've been sick today. I have moments where I feel okay and then moments where I feel pretty bad. I'm hurting now but I can't take any more Tylenol. I'm going to try Theraflu tomorrow. I just need to get some sleep.

[hvert]

I did not sleep well at all and worry about the effect that will have on the rest of the day.

Also, I had a kind of odd incident yesterday, the kind I should probably not overthink. I'm in a small online class. The class gets together outside of class (online) once a month for an unstructured social event.


I never went to the social chat because I had a schedule conflict. The conflict went away so I went for the first time yesterday. I felt out of place - the group is cohesive and has even more meetings outside of class than I realized. At one point they were talking about something they were doing that I hadn't been invited to and it just felt weird. I am invited now but how can I tell if they really wanted to invite me or just felt pressured to? Does it matter? Probably not.

[Deilla]

I'm still sick. I'm taking Theraflu. I have a Covid test set up for tomorrow. I just want to rest and take it easy.

[Breaking Dawn]

I enjoyed a delicious cup of coffee this morning & that gave me a warm & comfortable up.

[will19]

Not much of a day today. Felt so-so to depressed. I should be feeling very happy with the way things are for me but I just don't. I don't know why.

[Deilla]

I feel a lot better today. I decided to order a Covid test and take it at home. I just don't want to leave my house. I want to rest and relax today.

[regretful]

Six days away from this forum...still depressed; arguments with my wife; ongoing sleep problems...This really is a horrendous illness. I wish all of you well in your struggle.

[Deilla]

I did my Covid test this morning. I was very anxious, but I did it. Tonight I am depressed. I'm all alone. I have no one to talk to. I ask my sister if she wants to talk. She always tells me no. I don't think my sister likes me. My mom is busy. No one else cares. I have no one.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I did my Covid test this morning. I was very anxious, but I did it. Tonight I am depressed. I'm all alone. I have no one to talk to. I ask my sister if she wants to talk. She always tells me no. I don't think my sister likes me. My mom is busy. No one else cares. I have no one.

I'm so sorry, Deilla. I hope you feel better soon.

[Deilla]

I took a shower. I've been dreading it. But tomorrow is my birthday and my mom is coming by to pick me up for a celebration. I am clean now so I can relax. I might go to bed early.