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Old 08-16-2021, 11:18 PM   #21
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Was fairly busy today. It could have been a nice day but it didn't turn out that way. Mainly because I sent an email to my doctor who had performed the procedure on my face plus a photo of the progress of it. Along with the photo I had asked some important questions and made comments as to what's going on. I had sent the email at 9 AM this morning and all day I did not hear anything back. I was deeply disappointed. I thought that this would be the day to hear from the doctor giving me the "green light" from my restrictions. After two weeks of hanging low, which was hard for me. Oh well!
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Old 08-17-2021, 12:54 AM   #22
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I feel stressed this morning. I could probably use more sleep.
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Old 08-17-2021, 06:24 AM   #23
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Life is totally pointless.
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Old 08-17-2021, 09:35 PM   #24
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Still no energy and just neglecting everything.
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Old 08-17-2021, 10:23 PM   #25
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I finally heard from the doctor by the end of the day today. I'm still having to be restricted to do what I normally do with myself. The bike riding is off for another two weeks, though I can do indoor biking starting next week. That's not too bad, but I was hoping and thinking that the restriction can be off. As far as using a Jacuzzi goes, I'll have to wait about four weeks. That really hurts.

I was feeling very depressed today, even though earlier today, I thought I could get back into the things I miss. It seems like this has been a sucky year for me so far. I thought it would be better than last year. Not so!
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Old 08-18-2021, 01:32 AM   #26
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I feel fine. I took some time out to play one of my games. It was enjoyable. I am cooking now. So today is going well.
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Old 08-18-2021, 05:25 AM   #27
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

OK (enough), but very tired.
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Old 08-18-2021, 05:26 AM   #28
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Waiting for medication to kick in. Depressed right now.
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Old 08-18-2021, 05:26 PM   #29
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I’ve mainly been depressed about the thing I’ve been depressed about for almost 6 months. I mean my grandmas death didn’t get any easier until it hit that 10 year mark. And my last hospitalization in 2015 didn’t leave my mind for a year. So there’s hope this thing will get easier. But if I continue to feed it it won’t get better.

But besides that I haven’t been totally depressed today. I’ve been limiting myself on how much news I watch. I deactivated my Facebook a few days ago and I still don’t want to activate it again. I also logged out of my Reddit page and I logged out of all my email accounts. Just for my own peace of mind. I plan on watching AGT and the new Drag Race Allstars episode tomorrow. I’ll have to get into my emails though. But not the other stuff.
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Old 08-18-2021, 05:54 PM   #30
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Fairly busy in the morning because I had to pick up a few things. Nothing much after that. I've been depressed because I miss the things that I can't do for now. I'm feeling lost at knowing what I can do with myself other than those activities that I've done for so long that I shouldn't do for now. August has been a real trying month.
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Old 08-19-2021, 07:39 AM   #31
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I'm trying to encourage myself while feeling depressed.
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Old 08-19-2021, 06:07 PM   #32
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I'm feeling pretty depressed at the moment. I guess the best thing for me is to just go to bed.
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Old 08-20-2021, 10:12 AM   #33
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I have survived another week. The weekend begins. I will spend my weekend futilely trying to be productive in writing. There's no point in it. I will never succeed.
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Old 08-20-2021, 01:02 PM   #34
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Like last week, the soul-robbing companion depression is still by my side. I've tried to make peace with it; I've tried telling it that it's an unwelcome guest...I suppose that if there is a silver lining it would be that I'm dealing with it somewhat better than I did in the past - I wish all of you well in your fight against this invisible demon.
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Old 08-20-2021, 05:44 PM   #35
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I'm still restricted for the things I want to do, but lately I'm feeling a little bit better emotionally. I have been pretty busy in the last couple of days which is nice considering that I've been cooped up in my place. The things that have been keeping me busy required me to be in my own place, so that's a little consolation. And they had to be done.

For now I'm planning to go on a bike ride a week from tomorrow. I think that's when I'll be able to do it. I miss it so much.
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Old 08-20-2021, 06:06 PM   #36
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I am beyond depressed about everything. I really needed that email from my current therapist today that never came. Now I don’t know what to expect when we do our session on Monday. If she’s mad at me or not. I don’t know how tough the weekend is gonna be. I mean if I think it will be bad then it will. But I’m hoping to just be able to read and distract myself all weekend.
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Old 08-20-2021, 07:58 PM   #37
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I'm feeling sad and lonely. I just took my nighttime meds. So I will go to sleep soon.
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Old 08-20-2021, 09:03 PM   #38
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

I'm feeling extremely lonely. The loss of my dad is still with me. It's the finality of everything, mom then dad, and brother and sister aren't really close to me although I wish I could change that. I get angry at my situation even though there's no one to blame but myself. I just want my sons to be alright. I just want my own place but that's looking impossible. My landlord was home all week when he's usually at a job. We don't get along too well. It seems when I'm down about things he likes to rub it in my face. I know deep down he must be a good person, but he's comparing oranges to apples. He has everything he needs to be happy. If he sees what he thinks is wrong with me it's like shoving it in front of me to say it's my fault for being depressed and down. He has put my son down for things he can't begin to understand. The lonliness will get to me soon. I talk to my cat.... I'd say I'm almost there at being the so called crazy cat lady. I wish I could just have answers to things there seems to be no answers for. I wish I was good at something. I wish my "friends" were there to remember me, at least once. I only have 2 and they are distant. Life seems pointless to me too right now.
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Old 08-21-2021, 07:30 AM   #39
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

It's been a couple more weeks and my novel is a failure. I can't succeed no matter what I try.
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Old 08-21-2021, 03:38 PM   #40
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Default Re: Daily check in thread:Ups and Downs #30

Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert View Post
Feel like I can't focus on anything useful but then don't even try and then feel guilty. It's such a bad cycle.
Sometime I feel like that myself.
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