Anyone also with a parent with cognitive problems after a stroke?

Hi. My mother had a stroke long time ago (I was 5 or 6 and now Im 29). She now have (and been having since several years) cognitive issues.

Also personality/emotional issues.

She cant think "straight".

Her cognitive issues are: cant do simple math abstractions, she cant understand 75 seconds are more than 1 minute. Recently a Dr asked her to draw a clock at 5:45, she couldnt draw ir, but she can read time with no problem. She have short memory problems, she wants to tell you something and cant remember what it was, etc.

She have a hoarding problem. The house is full of things. Her kitchen's table is full of things, so much that is hard to even find a place to put a glass of water. Other rooms of the house are full. And she resists to tide up the house, she "cant see" how bad all looks, and its difficult even for her to walk around the house.

She have anger issues. She is still mad at my father and my father's family even if have been 15 years since they divorced.

She get mad at people on TV. She gets mad to neighbours, even if they try to help her. Also get mad with me, and... everyone. Thankfully she is in good mood about me.

Example: I tried to tell her something I heard a soccer player said on TV, a funny thing, and she said that player was in a relatiinship with a model (which is true) and the model stole the appartment of her ex, and she is a w#ore, etc, all in an angry mood, its like... she cant be chill.

Went to do her groceries, she said "did u buy the tea?", I told her she never told me to buy tea, she started getting angry, hopefully I had the list she wrote, so she saw she never wrote about the tea.

Etc, I can spend long time writing about her. She have a very... obsessive personality.

The house had a leak that started ruining the walls, was a very easy thing to solve, she didnt want to spend money, the walls ruined, the water tank even could fell from the roof. Finally she fixed it, but the housed got some good damage.

She keeps every plastic thing comes with food, like the peanut butter pot, or the plastic trays come with food. Lately Im taking some and throwing them in secret.

She lives alone. She doesnt have anyone that goes to visit her. She doesnt have close family. She have bad relationship with my sister, who lives in another country. So its just me for her.

That all sounds rather familiar to me, though it wasn't a stroke (to my knowledge). She wasn't actually diagnosed with anything, just regressed into acting in these ways over time. The hoarding and anger are especially familiar.

I had no answers and neither did any doctor, aside from the implicit conclusion of dementia worsening gradually. I suppose a stroke would have similar effects in terms of taking away the mind.

The only thing I could do was to be there for her, FWIW. At the time, I didn't understand much. Sorry that I can't offer any real answers, but you're not alone in dealing with this.

Thanks. Yes, Im not looking for answers or advices, just to find other people who are in a similar situation.

In the case of my mother, her cognitive issues (I thini its called vascular dementia) isnt progressive, its just stucked. She isnt delusional, she doesnt hear or see things, or make up things, as my grandmother did in her final years.

My mother is just... like with the house, a normal mind would think "yes, we should fix the roof", she is like "no, I dont care".

I can have normal conversations with her. But eventually something "strange" comes up. Like she starts talking bad about a neighbour its actually a good person. She is constantly angry with everyone. She pays too much attention to people of the TV.

She gets angry if I stop the microwave before the time I set it, she thinks Im gonna break it. If I use it 2 times and the food is still cold I cant use it a 3rd time, she thinks it gonna break. Small things like this.

She have 2 trash cans. Where I live we drink something that is a pot full of herbs, pour hot water, and we drink it with a straw, her pot gets cold, she drinks it and she thinks the water is cold, and have the kettle on the fire for hours (3 or 4 hours), she think the water isnt hot enough. She have broken 2 electric kettles, and 2 or 3 not electric ones. Her kitchen is full of kettles because she thinks doesnt work well.